This company is hiring 'professional slackers' to relax abroad
Everybody slacks off at work once in a while, catching a quick cat-nap at your desk, watching stupid videos on YouTube or ditching the office to do something fun. For example, one time one of my co-workers got a drone as a Christmas present, so we followed him down to the lounge on the third story rooftop to watch its inaugural flight. He immediately flew the plane over the railing, lost control of it, and it crashed somewhere out of sight. Sure, this was only about thirty seconds of slacking off at work, but it felt so good. And the drone probably didn't hit anyone's car. Probably.
Well, imagine how great it would be if slacking off was your job. It sounds too good to be true, or like the title of an Onion article, but this news is real: TUI, one of the world's largest travel agencies, is hiring four "professional slackers," aka "Fakecation Specialists." According to their website, "the ideal applicant takes great pride in doing as little as possible at any cost." (Hey, you got my attention!) If your resume is a blank sheet of paper, that's cool, but "previous experience of sleeping at your workplace is highly appreciated." Key qualifications include "not at all able to think outside the box," "like to sit or lie down" and "feel extremely uncomfortable hearing words like “productivity” and “deadlines." And of course, the primary responsibilities are "none."
Sounds pretty sweet, right? The salary is not disclosed, but TUI says it is "guaranteed to be way too high in relation to performance." The daily shifts run from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. and 1 p.m. to 7 p.m., which is not ideal for slackers. Slackers get up at noon at the earliest, if they decide to get up at all. But remember, they're basically getting to paid to do nothing, so they could just spend that time sleeping. Really, the slackers can do whatever they want. The website suggests they read a book, meditate and "sit in a beach chair wearing a summer outfit." Just don't do any work - you might get fired.
If you're interested in becoming a Fakeation Specialist, you can apply on TUI's website. Don't worry - they don't want a resume, cover letter or references. You just have to write a couple lines about yourself and send a photo or video. But there are two important details that might be a buzzkill: This job only runs from January 22 to February 4, and it's based in Stockholm, Sweden. So, if you don't want to spend a couple weeks in IKEA-Land during the winter, you might want to stay at your current job that is slowly crushing your soul.
I should write a couple more paragraphs, but all this talk about slacking off at work really makes me want to slack off at work. I'm going to buy a drone, take it down to the lounge on the third story rooftop, and see how she flies. Watch out, motorists! It won't stay in the air for long!