Meghan Markle received an incredibly patronizing first present as a member of the royal family
It's almost time for the most exciting event of the year! No, not the Super Bowl. Nobody cares about football. And no, not "Kiss A Ginger Day." That was last week. You missed it. I'm talking about The Royal Wedding. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry will finally get married on May 19, and who knows what will happen? Will Meghan wear her poo emojii hat? Will the Queen serenade the couple by rapping Cardi B's "Kodak Yellow"? Will Dementors swoop in and haul Meghan to Azkaban, because she went to Catholic School? I can hardly wait.
But even though the wedding isn't until May, the couple is already getting presents. See, every January, the royal family releases a list of the gifts they received in the previous year - probably to make other royal families jealous. In 2017, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - aka Prince William and Princess Kate - traveled to several different countries, including Poland, Germany, and Wales, receiving some sweet gifts for themselves, their kids, The Queen and Harry and Meghan.
I guess this is all the royals do - visit different countries, and get showered with presents. I don't know why Donald Trump wanted to be president so bad. Clearly, being part of the British royal family is way more fun. No work, all presents. Well done, Meghan.
Anyway, last November, Prince William visited Finland, and a recently published document reveals all the gifts he received fro those crazy Finns. They gave the Duke " a wristwatch, a book, a bottle of gin, a candle holder, an ice hockey jersey, a tin of biscuits, two pin brooches, a box of fruit jellies, a Finnish flag, a pram suit and two fabric gnomes." Pretty sweet haul, right? I'm sure he's especially psyched about those "two fabric gnomes." Who wouldn't want two fabric gnomes?
Meanwhile, the Finns gave Meghan Markle only one present: an apron. That's it. Yeah, it's pretty disappointing. Reportedly, they thought an apron was an appropriate present, because when Harry proposed to Meghan, they were cooking roast chicken at home (coining the phrase "engagement chicken"). However, a lot of people on social media found an apron to be a pretty patronizing, sexist first gift for Meghan. "Thanks for joining the royal family! Now get in the kitchen and make me dinner!" Also, her gift looks pretty puny compared to Harry's long list of presents. Where's her fabric gnomes?
I mean, I guess it could have been worse. They could have given her Tampons. But we should give Finns the benefit of the doubt, because they live in a crazy country. In Finland, they live in ice-cold darkness, they go to the sauna naked, they listen to nothing but heavy metal, they throw an annual "Wife-Carrying Championship" and they eat mämmi, a food that looks just like poo. Considering all that, maybe she should be happy with the apron.