What's it like, I wonder, to be Piers Morgan? On the one hand, you're a prominent journalist, known for your work on the Mail Online and Good Morning Britain (among other things), and you've got a very healthy Twitter following of around 6.5 million people.
On the other hand, it feels like all 6.5 million people, plus his viewers on his various television shows, are in it just to watch Piers Morgan suffer. It's an understandable urge, folks: he's got a pompous, know-it-all air about him, and with his constant tirades against political correctness - not to mention his ability to pick a fight no matter the arena, nor how helpless the victim - he's kind of the worst, isn't he?
So, it's always super satisfying to see the 53-year-old eat humble pie, and especially when it involves eating actual pie. Well, a sausage roll: Piers Morgan was forced to eat a vegan version of the evergreen Greggs treat, after talking smack about the roll in the Morgan trademark of the totally avoidable Twitter war.
First, a little bit of background info: Last week, Greggs announced they were coming out with a vegan version of their sausage roll, to immense fanfare all over the UK. Well, apart from our man Piers Morgan, who felt it was unnecessary: "Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns."
Then, Greggs replied, and Morgan went after other vegans and even managed to get McDonald's involved in the scuffle, somehow. It was not a good look for anybody involved, but Morgan might have mitigated some of the fallout in his latest appearance on Good Morning Britain.
Of course, this being Piers Morgan, it had to be begrudging, and it had to be performative as a Christmas pantomime. Even though Christmas was two weeks ago. Anyway, Morgan responded to the vegan-related backlash in the only way he knows how: stubbornly doubling down.
"Here is my answer to the vegan craze, here we go," he said on Good Morning Britain, as he stood in front of a market stall labelled "Morgan's Meat Parlour". Here we go. "Here we have some sausages, some bacon and mince," he helpfully explained, before getting into why he was doing all of this.
"What this all is? It is produced by great British farmers, people I want to protect from this scourge engulfing our country."
Oh, boy. But, to his credit (I think), he did eventually chow down on a vegan sausage roll; although, he did end up milking his reaction on live television, because there's not a camera around that Piers Morgan won't scrunch his face up in front of. "They stink," he said of the offending roll, before stuffing it down his face hole. Here's the glorious moment:
Look at him. He's... enjoying it, isn't he? No, he spat it out as soon as this photo was taken.
"Why would anyone eat this?" he whines, but the damage has already been done. Vegan sausage rolls are here to stay, and Piers Morgan might be making that face above for quite a while yet.
