Alexa PenaVega has shared a heartbreaking photo as she looks back on the devastating day her daughter was stillborn.
The Spy Kids alum, 36, took to Instagram on April 13 to share the weight of her grief, posting a heartbreaking photo from the hospital where she cradled her daughter, Indy, in the delivery room.
“This was the most painful moment I have ever experienced,” she wrote. “I remember it feeling so hard to breathe. Such a deep aching pain… How was this real? It didn’t feel real. Every emotion flooded in at once.”
Alexa, who shares three children — Ocean, 8, Kingston, 5, and Rio, 3 — with husband and Big Time Rush star Carlos PenaVega, revealed that despite the unimaginable heartbreak, they were surrounded by a "super natural peace".
“It was all out of our control,” she continued. “We had to give it all over to God. The burden was too heavy for us to carry so He took the weight off of us and draped us in His peace.”
And in that peace, Alexa says they have seen purpose.
“Over this last year we have watched LIFE come out of her life. We watched people heal because of Indy. We watched grief lifted because of Indy. We watched relationships be restored… God gave her life SO MUCH FRUIT … so much meaning and purpose.”
“Our sweet girl is celebrating with Jesus today,” she added. “And while we still mourn and wish we had her in our arms… we know she is waiting for us in a place that is beyond anything we can imagine. Jeremiah 29:11.”
The couple also shared a joint post on Instagram, showing their three children holding up a photo of baby Indy.
“Happy heavenly birthday Indy girl. Our little world changer. Psalm 34:18,” they captioned the tribute.
The PenaVegas first shared the devastating news of Indy’s stillbirth in April 2024. “There are never the right words to say when it comes to loss,” they wrote at the time. “After a beautiful and peaceful delivery our daughter ‘Indy’ was born at rest. It has been a painful journey. But in pain we have found peace.”
They continued: “We can't understand why things like this happen and we may never get those answers. Indy Rex PenaVega, you completely changed our world. You moved us to a new place. You gave us the community we have been longing for.
"We love you and can't wait to see how many other lives you change.”
In a heartfelt update shared the following month, Alexa let fans know that she and Carlos were “actually doing really well, considering everything.”
She reflected on the mixture of pain and peace that had enveloped their lives in the wake of their loss.
“It might be hard to understand unless you’ve experienced this kind of loss but I really do hope that you guys can see the crazy peace that we have, even through the pain,” she shared. “And I do hope that you can see how much God is at work. And how much fruit little Indy’s life has produced already.”
“And I know it’s just the beginning,” she continued. “And it doesn’t make sense. And days will continue to be hard. I know this is not just a... this season I know will come with a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. I know that. But I’m just going to continue to allow his peace to just overwhelm us.”
Our thoughts continue to go out to the family at this time.