Health4 min(s) read
A man who was born with both male and female sex characteristics has opened up about the uncomfortable question adults repeatedly asked him while he was growing up.
Roshaante Anderson is intersex, meaning he was born with physical sex characteristics that do not fit typical definitions of exclusively male or female bodies.
He was born with a vagina and was raised with a female appearance, but discovered he was intersex when he was 11.
Doctors made the discovery while investigating abdominal pain and found that he had undescended testicles during an ultrasound.
For Roshaante, the revelation helped explain some of the differences he had noticed as he grew older.
At the time, however, he said there was very little information available to him about being intersex and he had simply assumed he was like any other child.
“I was born with inverted testicles and I had a micro penis and also a vagina hole from birth,” he explained.
“I’ve always compared myself to a Domino’s pizza – half and half. That’s basically how I felt when I had both a penis and a vagina.”
Roshaante said puberty was when he began to become more aware of the ways in which his body differed from those around him, leaving him feeling increasingly alienated.
His parents allowed people to refer to him as “he”, although in some situations they also referred to him as a girl.
He generally wore boys' clothes, while his parents did not force traditional gender roles upon him.
However, he remembers being subjected to intrusive questions from adults who were curious about his body.
Speaking on the YouTube show People are Deep, Roshaante admitted: “I came across loads of different comments from my friends’ parents and stuff like that all the time.
“They would constantly [ask]: ‘Do you sit down or do you stand up to go toilet?’
“I’m just like, listen, relax, I’m a kid, stop asking me all these questions. You're sexualizing me in a way. It’s a bit creepy.”
Looking back as an adult, Roshaante said he is now more aware of how inappropriate those conversations were.
“I didn't feel uncomfortable at the time but when I think about it now, I’m like, you put up with way too much, man,” he said.
“You should have told them get lost and mind your own business.”
Despite those experiences, Roshaante said they did not ultimately damage the way he viewed himself.
“Never have I ever felt a way about myself at all. I’m in love with myself and I feel like I've got good reason to be as well,” he said.
“I’m unique, I'm an individual who knows exactly what they want.”
As an adult, Roshaante decided to undergo surgery involving his sexual anatomy.
He has spoken publicly about spending almost £80,000 ($108,300) on phalloplasty, a procedure that uses tissue from another part of the body to construct a penis. He also underwent procedures involving his urethra and an erectile device.
Speaking during Channel 4's Skin Deep series, he pointed to the scar on his arm and explained: “This scar was given to me from having phalloplasty.”
He went on to describe the procedure in detail.
“Phalloplasty is basically a surgical procedure where they remove fat, muscle, arteries, veins, skin, from the arm to sculpt a penis,” he said.
“Then after they’ve sculpted a penis and everything, it’s left without a penis head for about a year or two, which means that you have a dong with no penis head.”
Roshaante has also spoken openly about his sexuality and relationships.
He has described himself as pansexual and said he has experienced attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender.
“Men and women both love me - straight, lesbian, gay, bi, anything,” he said.
He has also previously described going through a period in which he identified as “sapiosexual”, referring to an attraction based heavily on someone's intellect.
Roshaante has recalled other uncomfortable experiences from his childhood, including being prevented from using girls' school facilities.
He previously said he was told he could not use the girls' facilities because his clitoris “was like a very small d**k”, describing the situation as a “constant battle”.
He also claimed that some parents questioned whether he was a girl and even asked him to lift his shirt because “people didn’t believe” him.
Despite the comments, Roshaante said he generally viewed the people making them as ignorant rather than allowing their words to affect his confidence.
“Because of the way I am, I didn’t see it as offensive. I just saw them as dumb,” he said.
“Because if I’ve told you that I’m one thing, and you’re telling me that I’m not another thing and you’re 30, 35, that makes you look stupid.”
