When your alarm rings and the first rays of sunlight peek through your curtains, it's not always easy to summon the willpower to push back the blankets, roll yourself out of bed, and get on with your day. Some people like to go for a run, others take a nice, long shower. But for me, there's only one thing that gets me out of bed in the morning: the promise of an English Breakfast.
We like to associate the British with tea, scones and a whole lot of other fancy foods, but when it comes down to it, they like to get down at breakfast time just like us, and the English Breakfast is the perfect example of that. A typical English Breakfast is pretty similar to our American fare; like us, they love bacon, eggs and sausages on their plate first thing in the morning, and usually follow that up with a slice of toast or a piece of tomato instead of pancakes.
Emphasis here on "usually", because sometimes, people are prone to losing their minds and coming up with a breakfast monstrosity as shown here at a restaurant in Cyprus. You might since this isn't being made in England, we should give it a pass, but here I think we should make an exception; this kind of food crime should not go unpunished.
It was posted to Reddit earlier this week with the caption "This is from a friend of mine on holiday, who is half Cypriot, he’s not amused…" and if it were me, "amused" is definitely the last thing I would be. Feast (pun definitely not intended) your eyes on it below, and note how this is the worst thing to come out of Britain since... well, forever:
I should have warned you before about grabbing some tissues; for this English Breakfast is so sad it might force you to tears. It certainly made me weep a little bit. From the sad, uncooked bread to the lettuce that appears to have died of old age to the hot dog masquerading as a sausage, this is the kind of gas station fare that gives English Breakfast a bad name. Also: why is it served on a chopping board?!
Understandably, British commenters and dissenters descended onto this Reddit thread, determined to defend the honor of the most delicious breakfast dish that bears their name. "It’s like if someone learnt about it from a game of Chinese whispers," said one, while another simply replied: "What in the hell is this abomination??"
Sums it up, doesn't it?
The saddest part here for me isn't the frankfurter, or the way this cook managed to make bacon look unappetizing, but how if this Redditor had decided to go for a traditional Cypriot (or even Mediterranean) breakfast, they could have enjoyed something truly incredible. But instead, they decided to play it safe go with an old favorite, in the process suffering the worst of both worlds. Depressing as cold french fries, if you ask me.
So next time you're on holiday in a land far away, be sure to try out some of the local food. At least if it's terrible, you can learn to appreciate more of your favorite food back home.