The 15 most ridiculous New Year's resolutions

When you really think about it, all New Year’s Resolutions are ridiculous. "This year I’m going to exercise more." "I’m going to eat more healthily." "I’m going to drink less alcohol." Are you? Are you seriously going to do that, or are you just shamelessly lying to yourself, as well as every friend, colleague and stranger you tell? I’m willing to put all of my money, personal belongings and my cat on the latter.

It was recently reported that 80 per cent of resolutions fall flat on their faces by January, so let’s face it guys, we’re all losers when it comes to sticking to our aspirations. But some resolutions are more ridiculous than others and this is something that is shown time after time on Twitter. So the next inevitable time you hit January 10 and decide you never needed to stop drinking anyway, think of these absurd pledges and automatically feel fabulous about your pot-bellied, chain-smoking, booze-hounding self.

There’s a good start if I’ve ever seen one

There’s no winning with this New Year’s Resolutions thing

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/MamaMiaMakeup/status/813289388557766656]]

Impossible

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Sassy_Drunk/status/418791809951993857]]

I can already tell you right here and now what your resolution next year is going to be

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/JacobWhitesides/status/815634018616143872]]

Truly ambitious this one

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/BuckyIsotope/status/815655206880968704]]

It’s all about the little steps in life

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Ink184/status/550223787631714304]]

It only gets worse

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/KenzieFei/status/684443080796209152]]

[[heroimage||http://cdn.junglecreations.com/wp/junglecms/2017/10/london-fireworks-compressor.jpg||London fireworks]]

There’s absolutely no hope for people like this

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/megankcomedy/status/682622166475665409]]

Potentially the toughest resolution on the list to actually keep

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Fleimkepa/status/815655393263255552]]

The solution to 99 per cent of American’s problems

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/kumailn/status/815668238507872256]]

Finally, someone who will achieve their goals

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/lionprincessval/status/682674432817496065]]

What does he meen?

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/funnybrad/status/814130715021324288]]

Kids, lock up your dads

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/amara_hendrix/status/942089690810896384]]

I’m not sure if he failed or succeeded

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/DavidSpade/status/418790477924536320]]

Punctuation is everything when it comes to resolutions

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/FullFrontalSamB/status/684078378220154880]]

So, looking at this sad lot, are you suddenly feeling a lot better about your broken New Year’s Resolutions? I know I am. I’ll see you, same time, same place, next year to discuss all of the things we didn’t do once again.