Even though it's 2017, and queer people have been publicly fighting for their rights since halfway through the 20th century, those in the LGBTQ community still face a lot of backlash from individuals who believe it's fine to hate someone for being different.
And that sucks, obviously.
Plus, on top of dealing with
physical abuse, rejection by loved ones, and offensive comments literally any time we go on the internet, queer people also have to put up with a lot of dumb stuff that other folks say to us. Sometimes it's insulting, sometimes it's sort of funny, and sometimes it's plain ridiculous.
No matter how we feel about it on an emotional level, though, I can guarantee you this: we're pretty bored of hearing the same stuff by now...
1. When did you realise you were queer?
Honestly, I have no idea. That's like asking me to remember when I first realised I liked coffee, or rock music, or going to the beach. It's not something you 'realise' per se, but something which you sort of grow into.
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2. So who's the guy/girl in the relationship?
Asking a gay person this question is pretty much the same as asking a vegan which part of their dinner is the meat. None of it is. That's the point.
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3. How do you guys 'do it'?
Private lives are so-named because they're not meant to be shared with others - and that's a rule that applies to everybody, not just straight/cis people. Plus, if you have to ask how two people behave in the bedroom without a penis/vagina present, then I'm sorry to tell you, but you probably aren't having the most adventurous sex life.
4. I can't be homophobic because...
My brother is gay/my friend is transgender/I kissed someone of the same gender once at a party. Guys, I hate to break it to you, but even LGBTQ people can be homophobic and transphobic sometimes. But as long as you try not to be, we'll appreciate it.
5. What gender were you born as?
This applies to androgynous-looking people as well as trans individuals, but it's always offensive no matter who you ask. All you need to know is what somebody's gender is right now, and how they want to be referred to.
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6. Everything's fine now you have gay marriage
First of all, equal marriage is only available in a limited number of countries. Second of all, people around the world are being murdered because they are gay or bi or transgender - even in places that do allow two people of the same gender to tie the knot. And, third of all, no amount of progress is going to make amends to the people who have been physically or emotionally abused in the past.
7. How will I explain this to my kids?
If you object to LGBTQ people existing because you don't know how to explain it to your children, you're gonna have a real hard time when they ask you how to do algebra, or how electricity works, or how the world came to be - because those are a lot more difficult to answer than, "well, kid, everybody's different. And that's fine."
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8. You just haven't found the right guy/girl yet
Even if that was the case (which it's not), I'm not just going to ditch a relationship I'm perfectly happy with on the off-chance that - one day - some guy is going to come along and sweep me off my feet.
9. Being LGBTQ isn't natural
If you believe that, you must also think that red hair is unnatural, or green eyes, or twins. Because all of those are less common than gay people. Plus, if you believe that an inability to reproduce makes someone unnatural, I'd hate to see the way you treat infertile people.
10. Being LGBTQ is a mental illness
By definition, mental illnesses directly affect a person's way of thinking, feeling, or performing tasks to a normal standard. If anything, homophobia and transphobia fits that description better than actually being queer.
11. Would you ever have sex with someone who ISN'T your gender?
I don't know, would you ever sleep with someone who is?
12. But GOD says...
God also said you shouldn't wear mixed fibres, have tattoos, and that owning slaves was totally cool. Times change, guys.
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13. You don't have to shove it in our faces
How many straight couples do you see on TV every day? Or walk past in the street? How many news articles are there about celebrities' relationships? Trust me, if anything is getting shoved in anyone's faces, it's heterosexuality.
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If you've ever said any of these things in innocence, that's totally fine. People say stupid stuff sometimes, regardless of what the subject might be. However, now you know the response, you can avoid bringing it up again.
