I've achieved a lot in my short life so far, but never getting to have a dog is one thing that burns hot in the kiln of regret, deep in my soul. I've been to many countries, learned new things and met many incredible people along the way, but I've never taken my own furry friend out for a walk, played fetch in the park, or squatted down in said park to pick up dog mess in a plastic bag.
Jest if you will, but it's something that I'd really like to welcome into my life, and many dog owners will tell you pretty much the same thing when discussing their poodles, pugs or Pomeranians. One thing they won't tell you, though, is how that one time, loyal, loving Rover went roving through the kitchen, and ended up setting said kitchen on fire.
That's a thing that happens regularly, right? Beloved dogs setting kitchens on fire? Your home insurance covers dog-related issues, doesn't it? Well, I guessed that probably wasn't the case (no need to be so rude about it), but one family out in Austin, Texas, will definitely be considering it in the future.
This comes via the Austin Fire Department, who had to put out a rather unusual tweet following a call to a house kitchen. After a short investigation, the firemen concluded that the culprit was a dog: a dog who simply wanted some pizza, and in attempting to claim a slice on the stove, accidentally turning it on.
"Final 12003 Arrowood. Minor damage to stove and kitchen after dog inadvertently turned stove on in pursuit of pizza. Crews have ventilated structure and will be clearing soon. Fire damage est. at 1000 dollars," says the tweet, and although nobody was hurt, it remains to be seen if the dog will face charges, or even if he was successful in his pizza raid.
But this being the internet, this is where things get slightly weird. We all love a good pupper, but one news outlet made the mistake of referring to this doggo as something other than a good boi. "Bad dog," said local outlet KXAN. The rest of the tweet was, in fact, factual, but people very quickly fixated on those first two words.
Oh, what's the world coming to, where a dog can no longer cause $1,000 in damages trying to get some pizza? In his own home, too?! Isn't it something we've all been guilty of, at some point? This writer's definitely caused a fire or two trying to get some pizza, and that's being generous.
Let's hope that once his family gets rid of all the singe marks, this very good boy gets all the pizza his little heart desires. Or, more pertinently, this family learns never to put pizza near the oven, because wherever there is pizza to be found, we now know definitively that your dog will burn down your house to get to it.
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