I have a reoccurring nightmare, and it's about snakes.
Snakes, sliding irresistibly towards my prone, half asleep form, sizing me up; presumably wondering if they'd be able to finish me off in one mouthful, like in those news reports you see where a snake with eyes bigger than its belly swallows a whole gazelle and can't move for the next week until it fully digests all of the excess meat and bone it has just consumed.
Anyway, I'm basically terrified of snakes, and that clip of the baby iguana being chased around by circa fifty of them on Planet Earth II did nothing to assuage my fears, even with David Attenborough's dulcet tones talking me through what turned out to be the greatest of all great escapes.
It all started one god forbidden night in New York, as I lay in that half-sleep between dreams and consciousness, and the building's gas central heating came on, emitting an eerie hiss. In my semi-conscious state, I conflated gas heating with reptile oblivion, and so here we are, two years later, me jolting awake at 2 in the morning because my fan blew some air onto a bit of paper and it sounded like slithering.
For one family in Australia, this nightmare became something of a reality, after a snake was discovered lounging around in their toilet.
Creeped out yet? I am.
The Facebook page Brisbane Snake Catchers recounted the event thus;
"PYTHON FOUND HIDING INSIDE BAYSIDE BRISBANE TOILET ??
A family from Wynnum west got a fright early this morning when they discovered a Carpet python inside their toilet. They gave us a call to have it removed so they could finish their business in peace, without the local natives watching.."
Stewart Lalor, from the Brisbane Snake Catchers, spoke to the Courier Mail about the incident, stating;
“I’ve had jobs in the past where I’ve had hands in the toilet for half an hour.
“This guy half took himself out (of the water) for me which was unusual. I think he was curious to see what was going on.”
According to News.com.au, it is common for snakes to travel through house pipes, particularly in old homes where pipes sit outside.
Now, if you're feelings towards our serpentine friends are anything like mine, your first instinct would probably be to try and flush the snake down the toilet, although Mr Lalor apparently said that this is a bad idea, both for your plumbing and for the snake.
Frankly, I'm not sure I'll ever relax on the toilet again.