Published 13:40 08 Mar 2018 GMT

Are you sapiosexual? The people who are only attracted to intelligence

When you're single and dating isn't going so well for you, you get used to hearing the same old sayings over and over again; especially if you're insecure about your appearance. "Looks aren't everything", they say. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's what's inside that counts." Oh sure, it's nice to think that physical appearances aren't the be-all and end-all. But I imagine that the vast majority of people (myself included) are too shallow to look below the surface. First impressions really count, and a good first impression is always aided by straight white teeth and a toned body. But what if I told you that for some people, appearance is entirely immaterial and that the nerdier you are, the more appealing you become? For these people, apparently, brainy is the new sexy, because if you identify as "sapiosexual" then it means that you're attracted to intelligence in a partner above all other qualities: such as looks, charm or the size of their wallet. Is this romantic phenomenon really true? Or is this just a pipe-dream of heartbroken eggheads the world over? The term doesn't appear in the Oxford English Dictionary, despite how many people on Tinder might want to identify as sapiosexual for the sake of making their profile look good. The question is: Is there any concrete scientific evidence that some people are turned on only by the mind? A new study, published in the journal Intelligence, apparently supports the idea that people can be sexually aroused purely through intellectualism. The study, entitled "Some people are attracted sexually to intelligence: A psychometric evaluation of sapiosexuality", attempted to investigate the science behind an attraction to cleverness. Gilles Gignac, a senior lecturer from the University of Western Australia, surveyed 383 of his students with questions such as whether or not they thought high intelligence was attractive or not, as well as questions about what constituted intelligence to them and what qualities they looked for in a love interest. The results showed that the participants were mostly attracted to those individuals who exhibited high IQ scores. However, the people who were more intelligent than the 99th percentile were viewed as slightly less desirable. There's a particular sweet spot for braininess that appears around the 90th percentile. Gignac writes that: "We found that sapiosexuality can be measured psychometrically and that between one per cent and eight per cent of relatively young people (aged between 18 and 35) might be sapiosexuals, However, interestingly, how intelligent a person is (measured with an actual IQ test) does not appear to predict the degree to which people identify themselves as a sapiosexual." Despite these findings, however, it should be noted that this study is not conclusive, and doesn't appear to prove that some people are only attracted to intelligence; only that it is considered to be an extremely important quality in a potential mate (on average the 383 participants listed intelligence as the second-most important trait, just behind kindness and understanding). Besides, maybe this test has only managed to prove that people want to be perceived as valuing intelligence. It still doesn't prove that intelligence in isolation can excite us sexually. What do the experts think about all of this? Writing for Psychology Today, Dr Diana Rabb states: "Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain, and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person. This means the person who you are attracted to might have a tendency to have an incisive, inquisitive, and an irreverent mind. As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political or psychological discussions, because this turns them on ... This intellectual synergy simply fires up the relationship. This is often seen in the workplace and may be viewed as another aspect of being sapiosexual—that is, a desire to be connected with intellectuals." So according to Rabb, sapiosexuality isn't just an attraction to intelligence, because a person's intellectual abilities can affect a whole host of other traits: how organised they are, their career prospects, their communicative skills and deductive reasoning, and their sense of empathy and emotional intelligence. Plus, intelligence has to be thought of as a vital evolutionary trait; the more intelligent a person is, the better equipped they are to adapt and survive deadly situations, and thus pass their intelligent genes onto the next generation. In reproductive terms, being sapiosexual is a case of hedging your bets. It's even been proven by researchers from the University of Mexico City back in 2009. These scientists tested the sperm of 400 men, afterwards making them sit through a number of puzzling mental exercises. The gentlemen who boasted high IQs turned out to have a much higher overall sperm count. Speaking purely in evolutionary terms, it could be that, subconsciously, people are attracted to intelligence because it promotes strong fertility. So, how can you tell whether or not you are a nymphobrainiac? Well, a sapiosexual person might tend to take a little longer to find themselves attracted to someone. It might take a few conversations - and not small talk either - before they find someone sexy. They're impressed by any display of expertise, keen to learn new things and to discover new experiences with their partner. They're turned off by ditziness and ignorance and seek forms of art and entertainment that challenge them. They'd rather discuss topics that interest them at length and aren't afraid of debate and argument. They will value sex which is intimate and empathic, and won't rush into things straight away. Does this sound like you? Then you might well be a latent sapiosexual. But that's not the only preference out there. For instance, find out why these 13 men prefer dating older women.

uncategorised3 min(s) read

Published 10:34 03 Nov 2017 GMT

New research reveals a huge downside to being considered attractive

Tom Wood

Sometimes it may seem like attractive people have it all. They have no issue finding romantic partners, get compliments and praise all the time (often from complete strangers), and are almost never considered creepy or weird. And for those of us who apparently missed out on the sexy gene, it stings a little bit. However, it seems that the gob-smackingly gorgeous folks of the world don't always have it all, as one study has proven that being smokin' hot can actually hinder a person's chances at succeeding in one very important part of life: getting a job. According to research published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who are considered more attractive may struggle to get a job if the position is considered "undesirable". This is because interviewers are likely to have a negative bias towards hotter candidates, and hold the belief that they would be better suited to a more "glamorous" position. That, and there is an assumption that beautiful people are more likely to have a sense of entitlement that simply won't be fulfilled by a job that either doesn't pay too well, or doesn't offer the candidate the opportunity to create a real impact through their position. The study was conducted by the London Business School, who followed the hiring process of 750 participants - some on the applicant side, and others on the employer side - through four experiments. In each experiment, subjects were given two photos of potential candidates, one of whom was "conventionally attractive", and the other was "conventionally unattractive". Participants were then asked a set of questions in order to determine their perceptions on how entitled the different candidates would be. In three out of four of the experiments, the volunteers were asked whether they would hire the two candidates for different jobs - some desirable, and some undesirable. Across the board, people were more likely to hire the sexy candidate for a desirable job, but less likely to give them an undesirable job. Now, you may be thinking, 'how exactly is that a disadvantage?' But remember - most of us aren't movie stars, and many of us need the "undesirable" jobs in order to get by. These findings actually contradict previous research, which suggested that the regulation hotties of the world would have triumphed over the token uggos regardless of what job position was on offer - but that simply isn't the case. Margaret Lee, one of the study's co-authors, concluded the findings of the study by explaining that: "We found that people perceive attractive individuals to feel more entitled to good outcomes than unattractive individuals. "Our work suggests that we may need to think differently about low level jobs. "Jobs that are considered to be less desirable are typically those at the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum, including a disproportionate number of people who might be particularly vulnerable if they become victims of discrimination." Basically, everyone is just a little bit shallow when it comes to judging people by their appearances. So, if you happen to be one of the finer-looking specimens of human life, first of all: congrats, and, secondly, this is just karma for all those times you got picked to play a main character in the school play while the rest of us were all trees or something.

relationships3 min(s) read

Published 15:06 11 Jun 2018 GMT

New study reveals reveals the tell-tale signs that someone is attracted to you

Tom Wood

How do you know if someone's interested in you? That's a question that has baffled men and women alike since the beginning of time. Is physical attraction something nebulous and enigmatic, or is it really just a simple case of observation and deduction? As it turns out, it's the latter. What was once the province of poets and artists is now being picked apart by scientists, who have analysed behaviourism, to determine the silent signals of lust governing human interaction.

Countless studies have dissected the rules of attraction, and there are thousands of pages of data out there all about what that careless gesture, or purring intonation really means. If you're worrying "what did she mean when she said that?" or "did he mean to brush up against me?" or "are they making eye contact or just not blinking much?" you can consult the relevant literature to determine whether or not your feelings are about to be reciprocated or rejected.

Now, the mother of all endeavours has just been published, which claims it has comprehensively cracked the code behind human desire.

The study, entitled 'A Meta-Analytic Investigation of the Relation Between Interpersonal Attraction and Enacted Behaviour,' was published this week in the scientific journal Psychological Bulletin. The researchers responsible for it have gone so far as to call it the "most comprehensive analysis ever" on the science of attraction.

In a complex meta-analysis of over 50 other empirical studies, the boffins found that certain cues like prolonged eye contact, smiles, laughter, and initiating conversation are strongly associated with human attraction across almost all world cultures. In western culture, mimicking behaviours and head nodding are also apparently strong indicators of attraction. So if you see someone who nods a lot, smiles back, and mirrors your stance and posture, it could mean that they're into you.

Commenting on the study's findings, lead author R Matthew Montoya, of the University of Dayton in Ohio, stated:

"There is a specific suite of behaviours associated with liking, and this same set of behaviours can be found in cultures from around the world ... Whether we engage in these behaviours has little or nothing to do with romantic desires. These behaviours apply when doctors interact with their patients, parents interact with their kids, or when salespeople talk to their customers ... When we like someone, we act in ways to get them to trust us. From this perspective, we engage in these behaviours to increase the degree of overlap, interdependence, and commitment to an agreement."

So you might not be able to use the above info to become a master seducer or peerless pick-up-artist, but you can use to to gauge whether someone is already attracted to you, and based on that info, it's certainly more likely that they could be attracted to you.

However, it's not an outright guarantee. Do you know what really is a surefire way of being 100 per cent certain of whether someone likes you or not? I'll tell you: asking them. Seriously, this never fails.

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doordash

uncategorised3 min(s) read

Published 18:52 08 Dec 2017 GMT

Here's how dating a less 'attractive' person affects women's happiness

Tom Wood

When looking for a romantic partner, we'd hope that they're nice, funny, intelligent and that they share the same passion for taking pictures of hilarious numberplates as you do. But also, you can't help but deny that we're all looking for someone who's relatively good-looking as well. It’s just part of our primal instincts to seek out a mate with a symmetrical face, a strong, healthy physique, good posture and obvious grooming abilities – all things our brains interpret as prime requisites for reproduction. We've all got different "types" (*cough* Chris Hemsworth), whether he be tall and dark, a buff bearded bloke, or maybe you fit in with the people predisposed to those with dad-bods. [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BYwuxwphDC6/?taken-by=chrishemsworth]] Whatever it is, most of us like to aim high and prefer to talk to the lookers in the bar rather than the weedy looking ones lingering suspiciously near the dancefloor. But sometimes, you can't help but fall for someone you wouldn't categorise as textbook attractive. And even if some people accuse you of having lowered your standards, it turns out that those women dating less attractive people might actually be happier in the long run. A study found that marriages tend to be happier and more successful when wives are better looking than their husbands. The Metzer lab at Florida State University looked at 113 heterosexual couples who had been married less than four months, on average aged in their late 20s, who signed up for the experiment and to have their attractiveness rated. Huh. So looks aren't everything, are they? Turns out the Penny and Leonards of the world are better off than the couples who are equally as beautiful as each other. A more recent study at the same institution advanced these findings to look at the relationship between the attractiveness of a romantic partner and the desire to tone up and slim down. Examining 223 newlyweds this time, the study also had attractiveness rated by "evaluators" from Southern Methodist University who looked at full-body photographs of the participants. They were then asked to fill out a questionnaire to measure their motivations to diet. The results found that women who were married to hot men were more likely to be self-conscious about their body and as a result, want to diet. So while women with more attractive partners are also less likely to be happy in their relationship compared to the Penny-Leonard types, they're also more susceptible to developing eating disorders. Doctoral student Tania Reynolds, who co-wrote the study, said: "The research suggests there might be social factors playing a role in women’s disordered eating." "One way to help these women is for partners to be very reaffirming, reminding them, ‘You’re beautiful. I love you at any weight or body type'. Or perhaps focusing on the ways they are a good romantic partner outside of attractiveness and emphasising those strengths: ‘I really value you because you’re a kind, smart and supportive partner.’" Interestingly, the same thing couldn't be concluded when it came to husbands rated uglier than their wives – they were not as strongly motivated by their wives to get in shape. "In contrast, men's dieting motivations were not significantly associated with their own and their partners' attractiveness," Reynolds said. So next time you come across a less-than-attractive guy on Tinder, think twice before swiping left.

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chris hemsworth

uncategorised3 min(s) read

Published 12:40 11 Jan 2018 GMT

10 Habits that make you more attractive to your romantic interest

Tom Wood

It doesn't matter how old you are or how many healthy relationships you have been a part of, one thing that remains a mystery to most of us is what makes us attractive to other people. Some people can pull it off, but the rest of us tend to scramble around trying to look good, only to find that the times we look the best have nothing to do with trying. That time you were staring off into the distance, wondering exactly how Scooby Doo gained the power of speech? That was probably the time someone noticed how great you looked, not the time you were self-conscious about it. However, when you get into scientific studies and sociological research, you can discover some interesting facts about what makes people attractive to one another, as you can see in the below list.

1. Grow a beard (if you can)

This one, obviously, is one for the men out there. While some research has found that women find men with stubble more attractive when it comes to flings, fully-bearded men are a better match for long-term relationships. While there are bound to be plenty of people out there that can't stand a bearded face, the average says that they're very popular.

2. Nod your head in conversations

It seems like an obvious thing to do, but you'd be surprised how much of a difference this can make. A Japanese study found that nodding increased perceived approachability and attractiveness by up to 40%.

3. Women wearing red

Various studies over the years have shown that men are more attracted to women wearing red than any other color. Or, as Joe Thoden put it, the color "represents passion, power and sensuality".

4. Socialise as much as possible

In a psychological study, researchers found evidence of the "the cheerleader effect", in which people seem more attractive as part of a group than in isolation. So if you're out in a bar with a decent-sized group of friends, you'll appear more attractive to other people.

5. Smile

This may be a problem for those of us with resting bitch faces. A 2013 study showed that people are far more likely to be attracted to a smiling person than those without one. In fact, when shown 'less attractive' but happy faces, they were judged as equal or more attractive than 'attractive' but less happy photos.

6. Women arching their backs

A slight arc in a woman's back apparently makes her more alluring, according to a study in Evolutionary Psychological Science. The head of the study, Farid Pazhoohi, wrote that this might explain why some women like to wear heels, as they cause backs to be arched slightly.

7. Eat carrots (if you're white)

Strangely enough, A 2011 study found that caucasian skin with a slight yellow hue, which is the result of carotenoids found in carrots, is seen as more attractive and healthy.

8. Have a dog

You should probably get a dog anyway, because they're amazing. But there is another reason to invite a pooch into your life. Apparently, including a dog in your Tinder profile is sure to have some good results, as a 2015 study showed that people have far greater success on the dating app with a dog featured - especially for men.

9. Skip the small talk

It turns out that the most successful questions in a date conversation are the ones that create closeness between the two of you, usually by gradually revealing personal information about each other.

10. Low voices from men and high voices from women

Alec Beall, a psychologist, wrote that men tend to prefer women who have higher-pitched voices, while men with low voices were more successful with the opposite sex.

If there's one thing you can definitely learn from this list, it's that you need to get a dog immediately - or at least take a few snaps with one. In all seriousness, skipping the small talk on a date is an excellent idea, as no one really wants to talk about the weather (even if we do it all the time).

uncategorised3 min(s) read

Published 10:22 20 Oct 2017 GMT

This is how your body 'knows' when you meet 'the one'

Tom Wood

"True love" and finding "the one" can often feel impossible in today's day and age, where dating is almost made too easy given the possibility of connecting with almost anyone in the world. But even with such an interconnected society and the invention of dating apps that are supposed to make the whole thing easier -I beg to differ - it can still seem impossible to find your soulmate. So, maybe it's worth throwing it out there; is there even such a thing? [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BZQjZ86HHYS/?taken-by=classicalaf]] The dating game can seem unbearable, with dud after dud making it feel increasingly less likely that you'll ever meet anyone decent and that you'll be resigned to being forever alone (yeah, yeah – and with 100 cats). But as my mother always told me: you've got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But how can you tell if they're "the one"? You might think it's the hot feeling you get in your chest, the sparkle in each others' eyes, or the fact that neither of you really think Will Ferrell is that funny. But it's not. In fact, the laws of attraction are way less sexy and more to do with someone's genetic makeup. A study published in Nature has revealed the laws of attraction according to science. Every person has their own individual human leukocyte antigen (HLA) complex, which helps your immune system tell the difference between your own cells and the nasty cells that come from viruses and bacteria. But also, they are secret decision-makers that help determine who people find attractive. In fact, your HLA complex helps dictate how sexy you find someone, as determined by theirs. Looking at attraction patterns in 254 couples, the study found that partners with very different HLA complexes "correlates with sexuality and enhances the desire to procreate". So what d'ya know: opposites do attract. The study also helped explain another adage to how people are subtly attracted to each other: their smell. The researchers found that most couples thought their significant other smelt simply delectable, if their HLAs were significantly different. So don't bother Googling the best conversation topics or getting too dressed up for your first date – looks like it might be better to learn up on some biology and get yourself a microscope and a lab coat (I can't confirm this is all you'll need) to test you and potential bae's genetic HLA blueprints. Or alternatively, don't. It's probably going to freak your date out if you not-so-subtly try and pluck a "sample" from their head. Nevertheless, the experiment is actually really useful for evolution's sake – in the case of animals. The study found animals can make babies with super-strong immune systems if they pair up with a mate that has a differing major histocompatibility complex (the animal version of HLA). The animals, too, would be far more attracted to that mate and enthusiastically take to reproducing with them. And hey presto! A healthier animal baby would be born to go on surviving for that species. In any case, at least you now know why you think your partner smells so delicious and that if you really wanted to see if they are 'the one' – why, all you need to do is plan a surprise date at the HLA testing lab!

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3 min(s) read

This is how your body 'knows' when you meet 'the one'

Tom W

9 years ago