It's hard to believe, but there was a period of time when we didn't walk around with our iPhones glued to our hands, live-streaming every moment of our mundane existences and chortling over some meme or the other. Certainly, whilst it's becoming more and more difficult, we have to remind ourselves that there was a time when the avocado was just an avocado, not a lifestyle choice.
This brave new world does have its advantages. Platforms such as Instagram and YouTube have allowed young creatives to harness their talent for next to nothing and achieve unthinkable amounts of fame and fortune. It has also enabled the disenfranchised to find esoteric pockets of people who can emphasise with their grievances.
However, I repeatedly find myself becoming nostalgic and longing for the days of 90s and 00s celebrity culture: a time where it was acceptable to wear double-denim and when films such as American Pie and Cruel Intentions were readily produced.
So of course I was going to tune in when two early Noughties icons appeared on Ellen.. together.
Reese Witherspoon and Pink were guests on The Ellen DeGeneres show yesterday, and naturally, Ellen found a way to make the two squirm. The television host made Reese and Pink play a game of "Never Have I Ever" together, and as you can expect, things got awkward very quickly.
Ellen is clearly a pro at the student favourite, as she eased her two guests in with some rather innocuous questions, such as whether they had ever faked injuries and the like. However, just as Reese and Pink were becoming comfortable, Ellen threw them by asking whether they had ever done "it" in public.
Whilst Reese looked absolutely appalled by the question, Pink seemed right at home and proudly swung her paddle to indicate that she had in fact done the deed - in a public park, to be exact.
Reese did, however, eventually admit that she too had been rather scandalous in the past. But she refused to name where exactly she did the dirty.
Watch the video below to get the lowdown on some of Reese Witherspoon's and Pink's juiciest secrets...
Some might be surprised to learn that Ellen herself has never done "it" in public.
Ellen did end up getting a lot of information out of the two; she uncovered that Reese and Pink have both been guilty of looking through their husbands' phones, and she also got Reese to admit that she once hooked up with someone whilst other people were in the room (this was in college, naturally).
Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't quite expect that from Reese Witherspoon. Pink, on the other hand? No surprise at all.
More power to her, I say.
In other celebrity related news, we now know that Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx managed to keep their relationship secret for five whopping years, and here's how they managed it...
Jennifer Aniston and Ellen DeGeneres wowed the audience at The Ellen Show with a seemingly impromptu kiss in an episode which will air later today.
What prompted this sudden display of affection, you ask? Well, it was actually Ellen's kiss with radio host Howard Stern in an episode from two weeks back that inspired the smooch.
Check out the moment Jennifer Aniston and Ellen DeGeneres seal their friendship with a kiss:
In the episode, the SiriusXM host came up with the ingenious idea of a kiss in order to take all the attention away from the controversy surrounding a picture taken of Ellen and former president George W. Bush at a Dallas Cowboys home game.
"Did you enjoy it? How was it? Were you nervous? Did you kind of get into it?" Jennifer asks Ellen about her kiss with Howard. Ellen responds by telling her, "I mean, it was - it was pleasant."
The inquisitive actress then asks Ellen: "When was the last time you kissed a guy?"
"Why is everyone so shocked?" Ellen replies. "I kiss guys, I kiss guys like that, I don't make out with guys, but I kiss guys on the lips - when was the last time you kissed a girl on the lips?"
The Friends star pauses before telling the comic: "I don't kiss girls on the lips, no." And it's precisely at that moment that Ellen leans in for a kiss, a kiss which is, of course, met with a very excited response from the audience.
"That's what they wanted to see; they've been wanting that for years!" Ellen says.
Seeming to have enjoyed the kiss, the 50-year-old actress compliments her friend on her lips.
"You have very soft lips," she says, to which Ellen says, "So do you, that's why I do what I do (like women)!'"
She adds, "No razor burns, soft lips," and Aniston replies, "I get it."
If you want to watch the whole interview, the episode airs later today on NBC.
Traditional boundaries of gender are being methodically broken down in our modern society.
Archaic expectations of how girls and boys "should" behave, or conduct their lives, have been challenged and partially redressed, meaning that the pink-for-a-girl, blue-for-a-boy antiquity of yesteryear is swiftly becoming a quaint memory.
As ever with progress on a societal level, though, there will always be those who decry and move away from the comfortable confines of tradition, eschewing progress for the sake of what they deem "normal". Of course, if such voices are given too much credence, then necessary advancements would never be made, it takes a few brave souls to stand out from the crowd and point out that there is a better way of doing things.
And so it is with gender. Though the concept of gender is certainly becoming more fluid, on many an institutional level we still find that expected norms of men and women that date back to previous generations are still prevalent.
This was certainly the case for Hayley McLean Glass and her three-year-old son Noah, who, she says, is "about the biggest Elsa fan in the world". Unfortunately though, Noah was unable to take part in Disney's Princess for a Day program, after his mom received this rejection from Disneyland Paris.
Unsurprisingly, mom Hayley was furious with the response from Disneyland Paris, and so took the organisation to task in an impassioned blog post, writing;
"I can't help but wonder if the same rule would apply should you introduce an activity at your parks that is only for boys....I say introduce because of course there isn't anything that is just for "Boys" as this would never be allowed."If a little girl wants to be a super hero, she can be. If she wants to be a Jedi, she can be. She can be whatever she wants...just like Walt Disney himself said, "If you can dream it you can do it!"..."...Unless you're a little boy who wants a Princess experience at Disneyland apparently...that you CAN'T do!"
She continued by explaining why she had chosen to write the blog post on this particular subject;
"I'm aware that there are many people in the world with outdated opinions on subjects such as this who will no doubt say that I'm creating drama or that I need to just pipe down and accept the fact that he is a boy and therefore he shouldn't be allowed to wear a dress....well here's the thing, usually my anxiety means I shy away from writing blog posts on controversial topics because I don't feel that I can handle the backlash."But in this situation? BRING IT ON! Because anybody who has an issue with this, is 100% WRONG and nothing will ever change my mind on that."
She then went on to question the organisation's reasoning in brilliantly withering style, writing;
"I'm really not sure what the reasoning is for your decision on this as you never explained it, you simply stated he wasn't allowed to book it because "He's a boy"....what are you afraid of? What exactly will happen if a boy wears a dress? Will he burst into flames? Will he grow up to be *Shock horror* GAY and I might sue you for it?"Please do explain to me what terrible awful fate may befall him if you indulge him in his desire to have his hair done, put on an Elsa dress and wear a bit of blusher for a photo? Because frankly, I am baffled."
For their part, Disneyland Paris has since released a statement with regards to Hayley's blog post;
"We are taking this situation very seriously and sincerely apologise to Hayley and Noah for the distress caused."An isolated incident, the cast member’s response is not reflective of any policy or belief held here at Disneyland Paris. We are going to ensure this does not happen again."Diversity is near and dear to our hearts and we want to make sure that all our guests enjoy their experience at our resort."Of course, both boys and girls are welcome to enjoy The Princess For a Day experience in addition to all our other special activities."
The description on the Princess for a Day part of their website has also been altered. Credit to Hayley for challenging archaic gender expectations one blog post at a time.
Well, the culture wars, as we all expected, rage on. Sexual harassment, of course, has consumed Hollywood/music/media, totally revealing malicious behavior saturating American industries. Ellen Degeneres has come out strong against it, but now she's being called out by some for making a comment that is technically very sexist, if said by a man.
What does calling out Ellen, or anyone for that matter, do? Well, it makes people feel good for a brief time, and emotionally validated. It doesn't do much else. It's a culture war - it is endless, aimless, and painful. You already know that! We've been living through it for at least 3-4 years by now.
So, here's what Ellen said that has everyone all riled up, on the topic of Katy Perry:
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Plenty of voices on the right and center were quick to call this out, declaring that if Ellen Degeneres had been a man, she would be considered extremely problematic and would be called out by the left and SJWs. And I mean, yeah, they're right. If a man said this exact thing, it would be taken in a completely different direction.
But what's really the point? We can't just drag people, we have to consider their intentions. Ellen pretty clearly does not have bad intentions. Like, I don't think she desires any ill will or sexual harassment toward Katy Perry, and that's what's important.
We can't just mindlessly drag people - we have to think about if it's justified, or worthwhile.
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Yeah, there's a double-standard. But some double-standards are real, I guess. If a man says it, it is just fundamentally creepier. Sure, it could be said to contribute to a culture of objectification, though. Ellen is definitely participating in that. But not harassment.
Honestly, when it comes to being problematic, everyone's a bit guilty. It's like original sin. Anyone casting stones probably has skeletons in their closet.
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On the topic of sexual harassment, Ellen said:
“This is not a male thing or a female thing, it is not a Hollywood or political thing, this is a human thing and it happens in the workplace, it happens in families, it happens all over the world and we are all the same. We all want the same thing, we want respect, love and kindness. And if I could have those three things and an iPhone X, I’d be happy.”
She sounds sincere, and I don't really see the value in dragging her. I don't really see the value of dragging anybody. See, calling out problematic celebrity behavior is strategically absolutely useless, as a tactic for stopping societal ills, it has no value. It's just another subgenre of entertainment, it's not politics. I know it feels like everything is politics. But there is seriously no work being done for women by calling out problematic behavior online. It's been going on for years, and if anything, has only made things worse.
End call-out culture for SJWs and opportunist right-wingers alike, please. Nobody is helped by this kind of stuff, left or right.
"There’s some? wh*res? in this house? / I said certified freak, seven? days a week / Wet a** p***y, make that pullout game weak, woo."
After Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's 'WAP (Wet A** P***y)' dropped last Friday, conservative pundit Ben Shapiro, was quick to issue comment on the black-women led production. "It gets really, really, really vulgar," he said on his eponymous show, which aired on the August 10.
What followed was nothing short of cringe-induing. He recited the song's NSFW lyrics, while the music video played in the background - taking care to replace "p***y" with the "p-word" - as if uttering a popular term for the female genitalia was powerful enough to align him with libertarian values. It was painful to watch, entirely memeable, and, naturally, it went viral.
Shapiro didn't stop there. He proceeded to mansplain a reductive, tokenistic view of feminism - and went so far to implicate himself in giving his wife an STD, by quoting her "doctor" diagnosis that having a "wet a** p***y" could mean you have "bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis [sic]."
"This is what feminists fought for," the 36-year-old said. "This is what the feminist movement was all about, and if you say anything differently it’s ’cause you’re a misogynist, see?"
After clips from his podcast began making the rounds on social media and attracting ridicule, Shapiro took to Twitter to clarify:
"Listen, guys. I fully explained on the show that it’s misogynistic to question whether graphic descriptions of “wet-a** p****” is empowering for women.
"'WAP' is obviously an incredibly profound statement of women’s empowerment, a la Susan B. Anthony. As I also discussed on the show, my only real concern is that the women involved — who apparently require a 'bucket and a mop' — get the medical care they require. My doctor wife’s differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis."
And so, the public humiliation of Ben Shapiro was complete.
Of course, being the subject of mockery has been Shapiro's calling card since he became the youngest nationally syndicated columnist in the United States at the age of 17 (at the time of writing, he has 7 million followers on Facebook and 3 million on Twitter, respectively), but his views are representative of the larger backlash the track has received.
The most vocal proponents of the criticism surrounding 'WAP' are, like Shapiro, right-leaning, male, and, white.
It's to be expected; two women, black to boot, who openly celebrate female sexuality, and describe the female genitalia in candid detail - bodily functions and all - would inspire repugnance in such a demographic.
Shapiro giving his unsolicited opinion on a rap track is a savvy career move.
The clip of him reciting the track's lyrics has launched countless memes, and currently has 6.3 million views on Twitter. Consequently, the outrage that Cardi B and Megan's track incited has eclipsed the fact that the music video garnered 26 million views on YouTube in its first day, thereby breaking the record for the biggest 24-hour debut for an all-female collaboration on the platform.
But it's not just the likes of Shapiro that took umbrage with WAP. In a recent interview with Far Out Magazine, CeeLo Green, an African-American rapper, namechecked Cardi B and Nicki Minaj as releasing music that is "very unfortunate and disappointing on a personal and moral level".
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"There was once a time when we were savvy enough to code certain things. We could express to those it was meant for with the style of language we used. But now music is shameless, it is sheer savagery. There should be a time and a place for adult content," Green said, adding: "You have the ‘Heads of State,’ like Nicki Minaj or someone who is up there in accolade: success, visibility, a platform to influence. Nicki could be effective in so many other constructive ways, but it feels desperate."
In the interview, Green only references female rappers; thus equating their sexually explicit lyrics to the "shameless" state of the music industry.
Speaking on 'WAP', Green continued: "Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, they are all more or less doing similar salacious gesturing to kinda get into position. I get it, the independent woman and being in control, the divine femininity and sexual expression. I get it all." He then asks, "It comes at what cost?"
The irony doesn't go unnoticed. It was Green, of course, who glorified violence against women in Gnarls Barkley's 'Necromancer'. In it, he raps, "It’s naughty, very naughty necrophilia / Without a care I’m compassionate about killing her / I’d have my way with what’s left of the will of her / Cosmopolitans, and cocaine, and an occasional pill in her / When she spoke I saw a spark, but it was dark so / I drove her home when she died, sexy suicide."
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While black male rappers have long incited criticism for their use of sexually explicit lyrics, it's hard to remember a time in recent years that one particular individual has been called out in the way that Cardi B and Megan have.
A 2012 Billboard article features the subheading: "The 10 hip-hop stars with the filthiest lyrics, from Lil Wayne to Akinyele to Plies, all for your nasty listening pleasure." The artists referenced are all male, and their graphic lines don't seem to render them "shameless", rather, it's the very "filthy" nature of their content that makes their music worth listening to.
Ultimately, men are able to rap about women's p******s, but those who possess them cannot.
A prime example is Lil Wayne's 2008 track, P***y Monster, in which he spits the bars: "When I lift my top lip I can still smell you / When I swallow my spit I can still taste you / Put that p***y in my face you / It goes P-*-*-*-Y because / It's the reason I am alive / Mama I need just to survive / It's like I got to eat to stay alive."
We are still uncomfortable with women expressing their sexuality, and we're even more squeamish when it comes to talking about their reproductive biology.
In popular culture, the vulva is only depicted as a flower or an aesthetically pleasing segment of fruit - tampon commercials remain clinical in their failure to depict menstrual blood - and so we infer that vaginas are something to silently possess, not something to talk about openly - whether they be dry, damp, or "wet".
A body language expert has shared "what Ellen DeGeneres was thinking" when Dakota Johnson called her out in an interview.
The iconic exchange kicked off innocently enough - or so it seemed - with the TV host asking the Fifty Shades of Grey star about her 30th birthday party.
“How was the party?” the now-67-year-old asked, before dropping the line that launched a thousand memes: “I wasn’t invited.” Check out the drama unfold below:
Johnson didn’t skip a beat, responding: “Actually, that’s not the truth, Ellen. You were invited. Last time I was on the show, last year, you gave me a bunch of s*** about not inviting you.”
From there, things spiraled fast. “Ask everybody,” the actress said. “Ask Jonathon, your producer. But I did invite you, and you didn't come."
In a scramble to save face, DeGeneres fumbled for an excuse. “I was invited? Why didn't I go? Oh yeah, I had that thing! It was probably in Malibu, that's too far for me to go to. I think I do remember I was invited – thank you!"
A body language expert has shared their thoughts on Dakota Johnson's awkward interview on Ellen. Credit: Anadolu / Getty
But the damage was done, and according to Cosmopolitan, who enlisted body language expert Blanca Cobb to dissect the moment, Ellen’s discomfort was as visible as it was cringeworthy.
“So the right leg is crossed over her left leg, and that leg, the way she has it, serves like a barrier between her and Dakota,” Cobb explained. “So it’s like a psychological barrier as well as a physical barrier.”
As the conversation dragged on, Cobb noted another revealing behavior, which was that Ellen was “rubbing her fingers either on the armrest or on the leg,” which means she’s “self-soothing".
DeGeneres was uncomfortable from the get go, according to Cobb. Credit: Brooks Kraft / Getty
The Madame Web star admitted she hadn’t invited Ellen to the previous year’s party because she wasn’t sure how the host felt about her.
“Of course, I like you. You knew I liked you!” DeGeneres protested. “You’ve been on the show many times and don’t I show... like?”
Cobb wasn’t buying it. “If you have something positive to say to somebody, you’re going to reflect it on your face,” she said. “Likewise, when you’re pissed at somebody, you’re going to reflect that on your face. I’m not exactly sure if Ellen was pissed. I think she was a bit surprised.”
Then came the mic drop moment. Johnson revealed that comedian Tig Notaro not only showed up to the party, but she also performed. “She’s my favorite comedian,” she added.
Cobb says that’s when DeGeneres mentally left the chat. “She turned her head, she looked away from Dakota, and then she looked down with her eyes a little bit. She was definitely disconnecting and disengaging, and obviously, when you’re turning away from somebody, you don’t like what they’re saying.”
So, yeah - if the birthday party snub stung, being upstaged by Johnson’s “favorite comedian” might’ve been the real kicker.
Featured image credit: Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty
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