8 Foods Meghan Markle may not be allowed to eat now that she's part of the Royal Family
One of the biggest selling points of being a member of the Royal Family is the idea that you... get to live as a member of the Royal Family. No longer will you have to contend with stresses like council tax, or catching the right train so you aren't late for work... no, you're going to live well, and everything in your life will be better!
Meghan Markle is no doubt having the time of her life as a royal, but one thing she's probably missing quite a lot is her usual menu of food. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure she's not exactly starving, but there's quite a few foods that she'll no longer be able to enjoy, now that she's shackin' up with Prince Harry. These foods, specifically.
1. Foie gras
Depending on your level of culinary expertise, you may have never heard of foie gras before. But for those of you who aren't uncultured Philistines, foie gras is fatty goose or duck liver, and I have it on good authority that it's both classy and delicious. It's also inhumane as all hell, and that's why in a statement endorsed by Prince Charles, Andrew Farquharson, Prince Charles's Deputy Master of the Household confirmed that foie gras is a no-no at Buckingham Palace. "I just wanted to reassure you that The Prince of Wales has a policy that his chefs should not buy foie gras." the Royal Family will go nowhere it. Meghan Markle included.
Yeah, we've talked about this before and it's made the rounds a few times, but garlic is alongside foie gras when it comes to Royal Family no-nos, and it's down to a reason almost as humane: bad breath. "The Queen would never have garlic on the menu," former royal chef (and unofficial royal food correspondent) Darren McGrady said.
For reasons similar to garlic up there, you won't find many onions in a royal meal, though it's not as strict as garlic - probably because the stench isn't as aggressive. "We can never serve anything with garlic or too much onions," McGrady reveals, adding that the Queen does have a limit on how much onion can be in any given meal.
If you were offered the chance to marry into the Royal Family with the caveat that you could never eat pasta again, would you do it? That's a hypothetical that Meghan Markle ended up having to contend with, upon realising that the Queen banned pasta from her diet - probably because she's in her 90s and that much starch isn't helping her get to 100.
For that same reason, potatoes are also off the menu, meaning your fantasies of hanging out with the Queen late at night feeding french fries directly into her mouth - during a binge-watch of Orange Is The New Black - are little more than dreams that will never come true. You should also probably not tell anybody that you have those fantasies.
6. Rare meat
No, I don't mean that being part of the Royal Family means no eating meat that's more adventurous than pork or beef; I'd be very surprised if Prince Charles hasn't eaten kangaroo, crocodile or ostrich at any point in his life. This simply means that all cuts of meat (even those eaten by Meghan Markle) must be cooked to medium or higher. "We also couldn't serve meat that was rare, as she liked her meat more well done," says McGrady of the Queen, marking one of the few times that the Queen's policy is in line with that of Donald Trump. I wonder if she has ketchup with hers too.
With rare meat, garlic and all starch now off the royal table, the temptation for Meghan Markle is to dive into a bowl of shrimp to help the disappointment sting a little less. Imagine how good the royal shrimp is! Except don't do that because shrimp, along with any other shellfish, is also banned. This is for a pretty good reason, though: this is to minimise the risk of food poisoning from seafood - especially while travelling. The Queen has only eaten seafood once during her reign, all the way back in 1986. She had a sea cucumber, just so you know.
8. Tap water
Although we associate the British with tea and the Queen regularly has around four alcoholic drinks a day to help her keep the existential dread at bay, the Royal Family do hydrate themselves regularly. They do not do so, however, with tap water; for similar reasons as seafood above. With not all tap water being created equal in terms of drinkability, it's better to be safe than sorry. If you're Meghan Markle, you don't want to have tummy troubles at the best of times; you definitely don't want it during your photo op with the President of France or the Emir of Qatar.
Well, there you have it, folks. Of course, we can't all be part of the Royal Family, and it's natural to feel a little envious of Meghan Markle. If you are feeling that and you're one of those petty, spiteful types (no judgements), then you should track Meghan Markle down with a bowl of pasta, and make her watch as you eat it in front of her.
That'll show her.