Emilia Clarke opens up about feeling 'deeply unattractive' following surgery
Earlier this year, Emilia Clarke revealed that she had undergone a nightmarish medical situation while filming Game of Thrones without any of her fans knowing about it. The 32-year-old actress had two brain aneurysms during the filming of the first season of the hit fantasy series. Just 24 years old at the time, she underwent surgery and feared for her life.
Last month, she appeared on the CBS Sunday Morning show, and shared photos of her time in hospital.
Emilia Clarke speaks to Jimmy Kimmel about Game of Thrones' final season:
"So, they [the doctors] literally were looking at the brain and being like, 'Well, we think it could be - could be her concentration, it could be her peripheral vision,'" Clarke explained, and jokingly added: "I always say it's my taste in men."
"For a very long time, I thought it was my ability to act…that was a deep paranoia. In my worst moments, I wanted to pull the plug. I asked the medical staff to let me die. My job—my entire dream of what my life would be—centred on language, on communication. Without that, I was lost."
Now, in a recent interview with Stylist, she spoke about her style and thoughts on beauty - and how the time she spent in hospital changed her. Immediately after the surgery, she felt that she could barely look at herself in the mirror, even though her face had barely changed.
"After my operations, I didn’t want to look at my own face," she explained. "When I looked in the mirror, I just saw pain in my eyes. I found it very, very difficult… I used to put on make-up without looking in the mirror, which probably made me look a lot worse.
"I was so full of drugs from being in the hospital that I had a lot of water retention, and one half of my face was quite swollen. I felt so deeply unattractive. What I can see now is that I could see the pain behind my eyes. And no amount of anything can cover that.”
“[Now] I always err on the side of wearing less make-up. My face didn’t change, but my feelings about myself changed. When you can look at yourself in the eyes and feel OK with what’s looking back at you, then what more do you need?”
She also spoke about her look on the show, and how she'll miss playing Daenerys - not just for the character herself, but her distinctive look.
"I will never look as good as I did when I was playing Daenerys," she lamented. "I had the best professionals in the world doing my hair and make-up and costumes, and there is really not much I can do about it. I can’t ever get my hair to look like Daenerys. It’s a heartbreak, but I’ve had to come to terms with that."