Heroic stranger saves Chrissy Teigen from getting run over by cyclist
Chrissy Teigen has built a massive online following by posting perfect clap-backs, celebrating her natural body, and talking to everyone on the Internet like they're intimate BFF's. For every person saying "Wow, what is this obsession with Chrissy Teigen?" there are a hundred people saying, "I'M OBSESSED WITH CHRISSY TEIGEN SHUT YOUR MOUTH."
But the model turned Lip Sync Battle host isn't just followed online. She's followed in real life. The paparazzi photographed Teigen on the streets of New York City, and as you can tell, she's very pregnant. Her second child with John Legend is due in June. Obviously, the Internet can't get enough Teigen photos, just like the Smaug the dragon couldn't get enough gold. But one person found one photo curious, because of the unknown man in the background.
Matt writes, "Hey @chrissyteigen this looks like you have strapped a very small man to your boob." Indeed, the position of the man's head makes it seem like he is growing out of her chest, like Kuato in the 1990 science fiction film Total Recall. I bet you didn't think you were going get a Kuato reference in this Chrissy Teigen article, did you? Well, life is full of surprises. #NeverForgetKuato
Unfortunately, Chrissy Teigen is not going through a Kuato-in-Total-Recall-type situation. She wrote back to Matt, joking "I had the baby."
While this was a funny retort, it failed to give any context for the situation. Given the unknown man's unfortunate expression, caught mid-blink, and the position of his head, it looks like he's a pervert, leering at Chrissy's chest while she looks away, in shock. "What a creeper," said one Twitter user. "Where is your security?" Is it true? Is this man invading Chrissy's personal space? Should we form an angry mob in the street, raise our fists in the air, yell "For Teigen!" and throw him the Hudson River?
Chrissy assured her followers, that no, this man is not a creeper. In fact, he is a hero. She wrote, "Nah he actually saved me from getting run over by a cyclist. I should have looked before stepping out!" When you look at another photograph, taken a few seconds earlier you can see that this was the case.
"No, Chrissy! Don't walk into the bike lane!"
"You're too viral to die! The Internet needs you!"
That was a close call. Can you imagine an Internet without Chrissy Teigen? That would be like imaging a solar system without the sun. There are two lessons we can learn from this story. 1) Don't step into the bicycle lane without looking. And 2) Sometimes heroes look like creepers. Give this man the keys to the city.
In related news, Chrissy Teigen has a brilliant reason for not taking John Legend's last name...