Want to feel poor? Great news! This week Forbes released their annual list of America's Richest Celebrities. While we live in claustrophobic apartments and dine on McDonald's Dollar Value Meals, they live in extravagant mansions and eat the finest unicorn steaks. But keep your head up - if you work hard, create a viral dance and sue Fortnite, maybe one day you too can be ridiculously wealthy.
George Lucas tops off the list with $5.4 billion, after selling the half-awesome half-awful Star Wars series to Disney. He's followed by prolific filmmaker Steven Spielberg ($3.7 billion), television goddess Oprah Winfrey (2.8 billion), and basketball player turned crying meme, Michael Jordan ($1.7 billion). (And yes, Generation Z, that's Michael Jordan, not Michael B. Jordan, from The Black Panther and Creed.) Jordan climbed the ranks thanks to his sneaker fortune and 90% stake in the Charlotte Hornets. (And just think how much he could make if he copyrighted that crying meme!)
Coming in at number five on the list, a tie, between hip-hop mogul Jay-Z and beauty mogul Kylie Jenner, who each have a net worth of $900 million. We learned earlier this year that she was on the cusp of becoming a billionaire, but still, people were surprised to see 21-year-old Kylie match 49-year-old Jay-Z.
While Kylie was born with a silver spoon, Sean Carter went from rags to riches. He made more than a dozen best-selling albums; created the clothing line Roc-A-Wear and the streaming service Tidal; runs the Roc Nation record label, which is home to Rihanna, J. Cole and Big Sean; launched Roc Nation Sports, which manages top athletes like Kevin Durant and Dez Bryant; inked a lucrative touring deal with Live Nation; and he opened The 40/40 Club, the high-end sports bar/restaurant, in NYC, Brooklyn and Atlanta. To quote Jay, he's not a businessman, he's a business, man.
One Twitter user shared an old Chris Rock stand-up routine, to point out how black people often have to work twice as hard to get half as far as their white counterparts. In the clip, Rock says he lives in a house that cost millions of dollars Alpine, New Jersey. In his neighborhood, there are only four black people - Mary J Blige, Jay-Z, and Eddie Murphy - all superstars who are arguably the greatest in their respective fields, plus a white dentist.
"Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living?" asks Rock. "He's a f***** dentist! He ain't the best dentist in the world, he ain't going to the Dental Hall of Fame... I had to make miracles happen to get that house. I had to host the Oscars to get that house... Do you know what a black dentist would have to do to move into my neighborhood? He'd have to invent teeth!"
Some people pointed out that Kyle Jenner deserves some credit, as she didn't exactly pull $900 million out of the sky. But at the same time, it's not fair to compare the two, since Jay-Z is first generation wealth. Let's just agree that neither of them will be going on the welfare soon.
Following Jay-Z and Kylie on the Forbes list: magician David Copperfield ($875 million), hip-hop mogul Diddy ($825 million), golf legend Tiger Woods ($800 million) and author James Patterson ($800 million, another tie). Congratulations, rich people! Enjoy your unicorn steaks.
