A month ago, famous human lady Kylie Jenner gave birth to her first child, Stormi. The name was possibly inspired by The Weather Channel, or by the X-Men superhero Storm, or by the adult film star Stormy Daniels, who allegedly had an affair with President Donald Trump, and was paid $130,000 to keep quiet. Or maybe Kylie just thought the name was totes cute. I guess we'll never know.
Since giving birth, Kylie's been basking in the joys of motherhood. She updated her adoring followers on Twitter, saying she stares at her baby all day, and "she looks just like me as a baby." I'm sure every new mother can relate. Also, the father, Travis Scott, surprised Kylie by giving her a rare black $1.4 million dollar Ferrari LaFerrari as a "push present." So she's been playing with that. I'm sure every new mother can relate.
When she was pregnant, Kylie hid from social media, abandoning her fans, unwilling to give them a glimpse of her baby bump. They tried Photoshopping her face onto Khloe's pregnant body, but it just wasn't the same. But now that the 20-year-old beauty product hocker has unleashed the Stormi, she's not shying away from the spotlight. A paparazzi photo captured of a glimpse of her out in public with Travis, but it failed to reveal her post-baby body. Well, wonder no more.
On Snapchat, the 20-year-old reality star shared a photo of her half-naked, post-baby body. Can you believe it - a Kardashian/Jenner sharing revealing images on social media? I expect this kind of behavior from Tom Hanks, but not Kylie Jenner. Anyway, her post-baby body is pretty impressive, I assume. There was no "before" picture, so it's hard to judge the "after" picture. But let's just go with it's pretty impressive. Wow. It's like she never had a baby at all, and the whole thing was a big conspiracy theory! But that's just crazy talk!
In case one photo wasn't enough, Kylie blessed the world by posting a second one, from a different angle. You know, just the other day, she dissed Snapchat on Twitter for their annoying new update, a tweet that cost the company $1.5 billion in stock. But it appears she's made peace with the new update, or has used the option to revert back to the previous version. In any event, it's safe to say everyone approves of Kylie's body's new update, in which she has totally shed that baby-weight, if she really had babyweight, and it wasn't all a tinfoil hat conspiracy.
Hopefully pretty soon we will adopt that technology they use in Dave Egger's dystopian novel, The Circle. In the book, all of the characters wear SeeChange, a light portable camera that provides 24/7 real-time streaming video. If Kylie Jenner wore SeeChange, we would have nonstop access to her daily life, and be able to monitor any changes to her physical body in great detail. I can't think of anything that would be more fascinating.