Millenials are getting old. It’s a sad fact of life that Generation Z is fitter, faster, and - probably - smarter than we are. Suddenly, staying out late is no longer quite as appealing and while today’s teenagers are listening to EDM and microhouse, we’d rather reminisce over the music we listened to when we were young - like garage.
This quintessentially British genre was especially popular in the nineties and noughties - launching the careers of acts like Craig David and Daniel Bedingfield. However, if we’re to reminisce over these days of yore, we need to find somewhere that Generation Z can’t find us. Somewhere like brunch.
It had just gone midday on a Saturday and everyone whose age ends in “teen” was presumably asleep. By choosing this undeniably grown-up pastime, we had managed to circumvent the alienating adversary. London’s Cafe De Paris was our safe space.
This Parisian-themed nightclub is decked out in gold, with chandeliers and satin hanging from the ceiling - giving a luxurious feel to what was effectively a day rave. Bottomless cocktails were eagerly lapped up as familiar beats began to play.
From bingo to Mastermind, there was plenty of entertainment to keep the crowd happy (all garage-themed, of course). I even met a magician who turned a stack of lottery tickets in my hand into a stack of money. I didn’t get to keep either, unfortunately.
The brunch itself was a no-frills affair and took the form of delicious fried chicken served with triple-cooked fries and chipotle coleslaw. It was hard to give enough attention to the dessert of apple pie and ice cream - because the dance floor beckoned.
As the tables nearest the stage were rolled away, the land of white tablecloths and sparkling wine glasses which I had entered was fast becoming a thing of the past. The resident DJ, So Solid Crew’s DJ Swiss, cranked up the volume as we danced off the calories.
Perhaps the most interesting aspect of a garage brunch is the fact that when it ends, at 5pm, you still have your whole night ahead of you - whether that’s partying all night long or cultivating your carefully curated coupon collection.
Tickets for Garage Brunch start from £35 ($49) per person. It runs at Cafe De Paris in London on Saturday 10 March, Saturday 14 April, Saturday 28 April, Saturday 12 May and Saturday 9 June. Oh, and I wasn’t kidding about that no teenagers thing. Over 21’s only.