Ryan Reynolds is officially feuding with Paddington Bear on Twitter and it's SO good
Hollywood is place where dreams come true, and actors get into savage feuds: There's Vin Diesel vs. Dwayne Johnson (Dwayne called Vin a "candy-ass."), Jim Carrey vs. Tommy Lee Jones (At a restaurant, Tommy told Jim, "‘I hate you. I really don’t like you."), Joan Crawford vs. Bette Davis. (When Bette heard Joan died, she allegedly said, "Good!"), and of course, Bert vs. Ernie on Sesame Street. (Rumor has it Bert has tried to kill Ernie multiple times.)
Well, now we can add another savage feud to the list: Ryan Reynolds vs. Paddington Bear. Today the People's Choice Awards released their complete list of nominations, because there really aren't enough awards shows in Hollywood. Actors play pretend for a living, and must be given golden statues every week. The PCA's are the only award decided by the people, so it's going to be awkward when Russian hackers meddle with the votes and Vladmir Putin wins Beauty Influencer Of 2018.
This year Ryan Reynolds picked up three nominations: Male Movie Star Of 2018, Action Movie Star Of 2018 and Social Celebrity Of 2018. That's right, we are now giving awards to celebrities for tweeting. Hopefully next year they'll add more prestigious categories, so we can honor actors for sleeping, breathing and putting their shoes on the right feet. Anyway, Ryan posted a celebratory tweet, and threw some unexpected shade at Paddington Bear.
"So honored by all the @peopleschoice noms," wrote Ryan. "Hope you vote for Deadpool 2 and feel free to write us in for best Family Film. Because watch your fucking back, Paddington." It would be pretty funny if the R-rated Deadpool 2 won Best Family Film. However, Ryan might have made a big mistake lashing out at Paddington. The animated comedy Paddington 2 has a rare 100% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, making it one of the highest rated films on the site. You can't compete with that, Van Wilder!
In response to Ryan's tweet, Hugh Bonneville, one of the stars of Paddington, wrote, "Language, Mr Reynolds, language," with the hashtag #hardstare. Then the sound designer for the film chimed in, writing, "He thinks he’s being cute and funny. But he shouldn’t mess with Paddington like that." And then the bear himself responded, tweeting, "#hardstare."
Forget the propaganda about Paddington being friendly and polite. He is an ice cold gangster who'd push your grandmother off a bridge for looking at him funny. Do you know what Paddington did in Peru, before arriving in London? He ran a drug cartel. They called him Pablo Escobear. His battered suitcase is full of the purest Peruvian coke, and a submachine gun. And you think that marmalade is just a snack? Every time he takes out an enemy, he leaves marmalade as a calling card, smearing it on the face of his fallen foe.
So, Mr. Blake Lively better tread lightly. He is on very thin ice. Paddington doesn't play games.