Last week, we had one of those corporate promotion snafus that we so love to talk about, and weirdly enough, they all seem to be coming from Russia. Fresh from telling their women to steal sperm from professional footballers at this year's World Cup for free Whoppers, Domino's in Russia told anybody that got a tattoo of their logo that they'd get free pizzas for 100 years, not realising that most people will do anything for free pizza.
They were forced to shelve the two-month promotion after five days because too many people got the tattoo, so plenty of people will be left with little more than a funny story for their Domino's tattoo. In any case, let's take a look at some of the more creative ones, so at least the pizza-less masses will get their moment in the sun.
1. This tattoo gets an extra lifeEverybody's favourite Italian plumber, Super Mario, is a big fan of pizza and pasta, because we're a society of easy jokes and lazy stereotypes. Either way, when he's back from a long hard day of turtle stomping and he just doesn't feel like eating one of those mushrooms, I'm sure Mario gets on the phone to Domino's. Mamma mia!
Living deep in the New York sewers, it's no surprise that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were compromised by nuclear waste, and are experts at fighting random people in the street. No less surprising: as New Yorkers, they're big fans of pizza too. Here's resident hothead Raphael, holding onto a box of Domino's. No, he's not sharing.
3. Heart-shaped pizzaTry as I might, I've never been able to describe unending love for pizza in words that do my affection justice. Judging by this tattoo, it might be easier to try to capture that feeling in a more visual manner.
4. Seeing the funny sideIf you found out that Domino's were cancelling their promotion just as the tattoo artist started needling your skin with red and blue, it's natural to feel a little salty over the whole thing. Luckily, this Domino's fan sans free pizza managed to adapt his body art, seeing the funny side of things.
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles strike againMan, what is it about pizza that these crime-fighting turtles find irresistible? Here, it's Raphael again. Not content with having an entire box of pizza to himself, he's still hungry, so he's settled for eating the Domino's logo instead. No, he's still not sharing.
These are all creative tattoos, sure, but the real beauty of this photo is that three people who all wanted free pizza met at some point, and said to each other: "Well, we messed up, didn't we?" At least they have friendship. And social media likes.
If I were Domino's, and I had to hand-pick someone who'd be lucky enough to get free pizza, I'd definitely pick this guy. It's quite simple, but it does the job, and that tattooed slice of pizza actually looks really tasty.
8. Cut above the restRather than trying to pander to Domino's for all that free pizza action, this guy decided to get artistic with his tattoo. I don't want to eat this tattoo, not one bit - it actually looks like it would cut your mouth open - but now the promotion's been cancelled, I think the owner of this tattoo has something that looks good out of context.
Well, there we have it, folks. To all of you in Russia who are reading this with a fresh red and blue tattoo, I'm really, really sorry you didn't get to enjoy free pizza at some point. I really hope you were featured in this list, though. If not, then I'm really sorry. I'm sure you'll catch a break soon, though.