As the holidays draw nearer, I'm sure all of us are wishing we could just skip ahead and take our vacation already. Unfortunately, the 9-5 life doesn't just take a backseat as soon as December hits, so most of us are still slogging away at our desks (though perhaps with some Christmassy music playing in the background).
However, the luckier ones amongst us have already ditched their offices and are off galavanting around the world in search of some winter sun or much-needed respite from the daily grind. And, while they're away, they almost certainly don't want to be bothered by us schmucks who are still tapping away at our laptops and taking constant phone calls.
One guy named Roy recently made this very clear in his 'Out of Office' reply, which a colleague of his screenshot and uploaded to Reddit in a since-deleted post.
The message began quite cheerily:
"Hi there!
"I know, I know. You got an immediate reply. And You were all like: “Ah! So he CAN answer mails!”
"But alas, dear writer. I am off to a sunny island with the two people I love most. No, not Luke Skywalker and Jimi Hendrix. My wife and my son!
"Nothing but a week of sun and quality time with my two favorite people."
But then, it took more of a philosophical turn.
"It’s the recipe to happiness," Roy said. "I highly recommend you try it. With your loved ones, I mean. You can’t have mine. That’d be freaky."
And then he riffed about the usual hassles of trying to contact people when they're on holiday...
"Anyway. I won’t be replying to you. Usually people write they have no access to mail or phone and we all know that’s a lie – they just don’t want to reply. I am however deleting outlook from my phone for the week and roaming is off, so I literally cannot be contacted until I am back, which will be Tuesday, December 11th."
... Before going straight back to his humorous philosophies:
"I look forward to replying to you then …unless I get eaten by a shark or something.
"If that does happen, then it’s OK. The shark would be eating a happy meal.
"I only ask you remember me as a kind man who loved vegetarian curries and death metal and whose autoreply made your day a little less ‘winter is coming’ and a bit more ‘island in the sun’.
"Have a great week!
"/roy"
Unfortunately for Roy, Tuesday, December 11th has now been and gone - which means he's back at work, slogging away like the rest of us and catching up on those 472 emails he missed in the few days he was gone.
But we can only hope that he had a lovely time on holiday, eating vegetarian curries and spending time with his two favourite people. Unless he did get eaten by a shark, of course. In which case, RIP Roy - you seemed like a great guy.
