While Luke Ambler jokes about how similar "Andy's Man Club" sounds to Fight Club, the reality couldn't be more different.
Formed after the tragic suicide of his brother-in-law, Andy Roberts, the former professional rugby player was shocked to discover that suicide is the leading cause of death in men under 50. The major contributing factor? Lads don't talk.
In order to break down these stigmas, and open up the conversation surrounding mental health - he created Andy's Man Club back in 2016. Six years later, it's grown to 42 groups nationwide, plus an online network.
In doing so, Luke has saved countless lives.
Reflecting on the success of Andy's Man Club, he tells VT, "It just shows that guys talk, if they're given the right platform."
This is especially important when it comes to suicide prevention, because as Luke points out, he never knew his late brother-in-law, who died aged 23, was struggling. "Suicide can just be a lifestyle decision, it could be that your life just gets too much at a certain moment. And depending on the individual's resilience, troubles, and coping strategies, it can lead them down that dark path.
Certainly, in the UK alone - on average one man every 2 hours takes his life. Per the Samaritans, Men aged 45-49 still have the highest rate of suicides, and this only increased in 2018.
Luke says that it is these stark figures that led him to do the work he does now, free of charge.
In 2016, the 31-year-old created the campaign "It's Ok To Talk", which promptly went viral on social media.
This is the crux of his mission, and Luke uses three basic tenants to break down the stigmas that stop men from speaking about their mental health: "burden, weakness, and embarrassment".
"When you get to open up, you stop feeling that burden because you offload some of that on the group. And you eventually get rid of the idea that you're weak because you're not; it takes a lot of strength to open up. Embarrassment is something that's unique to you, but most men find that there are other guys going through the same thing," Luke explains.
"Problems eventually pass, and brighter days do come, but you've got to be willing to stick around."
Andy's Man Club attracts men from all different backgrounds and ages. "I've seen guys who are 18, young lads who like drinking and going out with girls, the cool kids," Luke rattles off. "Then you'll get an 86-year-old man who's an ex-lecturer at a school, high-flying businessmen... the list is endless, really. It has a community feel, and it's such an interesting concept as it's about men, not just one type of lad."
One of the unique things about the format of the group sessions is that they're not mandatory, and men can attend how often or as little as they like.
"Some guys come, talk once and that's enough for them. And others come every single week and use it like church. It helps them accept their issues, and make strides towards dealing with them. That's all anyone wants to do, isn't it? To try to deal with their problems in the best way they can."
While Luke's groups are made for men, this doesn't mean that he isn't aware that women are also facing a mental health crisis, especially in the midst of the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. This past year, 49 per cent of the population have said that they have experienced an uptick in negative thoughts, and women, in particular, have reportedly had to take up additional domestic and childcare responsibilities, in addition to working from home.
"I'm feeling more and more worried for women, as female suicide is on the up. I think that there's all this focus on 'men don't talk', so people just naturally assume that all women meet up and talk with their friends all the time, and this isn't the case."
For his part, Luke's passion for mental health stems from his mother. "My mum had a mental illness, and she experienced panic attacks, so I learnt to understand mental health from her, two decades ago."
Ultimately, much of Luke's work goes back to family; he doesn't want other people to experience what he did back in 2016.
"When I had to tell my little boy that one of his favourite people in the world had died, the screech which he let out as a six-year-old child will live with me forever. It absolutely crippled me. That sparked a pursuit to stop any other kid having to hear that about their dad, or their uncle, or their brother."
Luke isn't paid for doing Andy's Man Club, and he stresses that he never will be. The reward for him is going on the school run, and having another parent tell him: "Thank you. Your club saved my life.
"I know that he's just dropped his son or daughter off, and he's still here because of that group."
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(Feature Image Credit: Alamy)
