Nipples. Funny little things aren't they? I mean, for women, the reason for nipples is fairly obvious: they are a gateway into the nutritious milk that turns your screaming bundle of misery into a bumbling, fumbling toddler. However, for men, the reason behind those little slices of sausage meat that sit on our chest, is a little less obvious.
But, what is the purpose of our nipples? Why do they have them? And, what else do we need to know about them? Well, fortunately for you, I have the answers.
Check out these eight facts about nipples and, more importantly, find out why we need them.
1. Men can lactateYes, that's right gents, you can produce your own breast milk. According to medical researchers, if you give enough hormones to men, there's a slim chance that some of their breast tissue could turn into lactating tissue. But, be warned, if you just start randomly spouting shots of milk without the hormones, you need to go and see a doctor.
2. Men enjoy nipple stimulationYes, while this method of sexual stimulation may be something that is usually reserved for our female counterparts, it turns out that blokes like getting their nipples played with as well. Both men and women have the same nerve bundles in their nips, meaning that they are extremely sensitive.
3. Men can have nipple-orgasmsWhile this may seem pretty far-fetched, men can genuinely climax through nipple stimulation. In order to do this, you need to circle the pigmented part of the nipple with your fingers or mouth until the nipple becomes hard. Then, stimulate both nipples with a gentle rub or pinch and incorporate a bit of sucking or pinching. This, apparently, will lead some men to climax.
4. Men can develop breastsExcess breast tissue or fat can lead to some men developing breasts and this condition is called gynecomastia. But in terms of what this does to your little nips, well, they can become enlarged, sensitive or tender. There are numerous causes of the condition with it being linked to hormonal imbalance, anabolic steroids and a pituitary tumor.
5. Men get breast reductionsIn order to treat gynecomastia, many men have undergone breast reduction surgery. The procedure removes excess tissue, fat, or both. Normally, a patient will be under local anaesthesia, however, in more serious cases, some men require a general anaesthesia.
6. Male breast reduction is very different to female reductionThe end goal of each procedure is very different. In men, surgery reduces the enlarged tissue through liposuction or cutting out excess skin. However, for females, the surgery aims to remove excess volume and heaviness.
7. Men have accessory nipplesYou can stick your Michael Kors bags and Chihuahuas because us men have nipples as accessories! In all seriousness, if you have an accessory nipple, be sure to visit your doctor in order to make sure that they're cancer-free - as they may contain actual breast tissue.
8. So, why do men have nipples?If all this nipple chat has got you staring at your chest wondering why you have those little round thins, there is an answer: we all start off as girls. Basically, our nipples begin to grow before sexual differentiation happens in the womb. By the time the Y chromosome and testosterone begin developing the penis and testicles, the nipples have already landed and remain.
So there you have it, we all begin life as girls. Well, that's not even true. If you want to be more specific, we all begin life as a**holes... genuinely. Isn't life a wonderful thing?