Here's what to do if a loved one tells you they're experiencing suicidal thoughts

Sadly, hundreds of thousands of people across the world end their lives by suicide each year. According to the Mental Health Foundation, that is around 800,000 people globally.

It's a sobering statistic, and one that we must consider seriously. Though we have taken strides to destigmatise mental health, we must always hold space for conversation; especially in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic - which has resulted in 49 per cent of the UK population saying they have experienced an uptick in negative thoughts.

Suicide, in particular, can affect anyone, and this is something that was touched upon in the Channel 4 documentary, Caroline Flack: Her Life and Death. The programme aired on Tuesday, and explored the factors that led to the suicide of the television presenter, aged 40.

With this in mind, VT spoke to José Veiga, a BACP registered counsellor and psychotherapist, about what to do when someone opens up about their struggles, and voices suicidal thoughts.

Caroline Flack passed away in February of 2020 (Credit: Alamy)

Take it seriously

"When someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, there is normally some unspoken pain that needs to be let out," Veiga explains. "So, it's very important - especially if someone has confided in you - to not brush it off. Take it seriously, and listen to what they have to say, as talking about suicide can be very difficult for the individual involved.

Listen empathetically

"There is a misconception that if you talk to someone about their suicidal thoughts, they will be more likely to commit the act. But the opposite is true," Veiga continues. "Somebody who is suicidal is in a lot of pain, and they need to be heard. I would give as much space for them to talk as possible. This may include asking what support they would like, and what they think they need to deal with their feelings."

"When someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, there is normally some unspoken pain that needs to be let out" (Credit: Unsplash)

Know when to contact emergency services

If someone is in crisis, and a suicide attempt may be imminent, Veiga says to speak to them about your intention to call an ambulance for their protection.

Redirect them to professional resources

Otherwise, if they are not in immediate danger, and do not feel comfortable continuing the conversation with you, you should encourage them to reach out to professionals. Veiga cites The Samaritans, Rethink Mental Illness, and Mind (which has branches in most regions across the UK), as useful resources.

Counselling can also provide invaluable support. "If someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts that don't go away, counselling can help them explore what the issues are in more detail."

"Speaking to professionals allows the individual to see just how much support is available," he explains. "It's important for them to not be alone when they're having these feelings."

Veiga cites The Samaritans, Rethink Mental Illness, and Mind as useful resources (Credit: Unsplash)

Touch base regularly

The psychotherapist stresses the importance of regularly keeping in contact with the individual in question. "Even if there is no resolution - which there likely won't be for that initial conversation - it's about staying in touch," he says.

Veiga also explains that people demonstrate suicidal thoughts and behaviour in different ways. This is why it is so important to check in on loved ones who are behaving in a way that is out of the ordinary for them, especially during this trying time.

Show your concern

"When you're asking how they are, ensure to be actually interested in the answer," he continues. "Very often when we ask 'how are you?', we're not necessarily interested in a depressing or negative answer, but we need to remember to be genuinely interested in how our loved ones are, even if they're not feeling great."

"It's about staying in touch," says José Veiga (Credit: Unsplash)

Ensure to look after your own mental health

"You must also look after yourself," the psychotherapist concludes. "Listening to someone speak about their suicidal ideation can be difficult to hear, especially if it's somebody who is close to you. So, reach out to somebody yourself. It's always the single most important thing a person who is struggling can do."

Anyone can contact Samaritans FREE any time from any phone on 116 123, even a mobile without credit. This number won’t show up on your phone bill. Or you can email [email protected].

You can follow Samaritans on social media on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Find out how you can support The Samaritans or volunteer with us here.

José Veiga is a BACP Registered counsellor and psychotherapist, you can visit his website, here. 

(Feature Image Credit: Unsplash)