Ladies and gentlemen, I am but a simple man, with simple pleasures, simple emotions... and, unfortunately, simple failings. I can be on a diet for many weeks and months, but with just a whiff of the scent of fried chicken, all that willpower goes out of the window and before I know it, I am halfway through a family bucket of fried chicken, but my family are nowhere to be seen.
Fried chicken is delicious, and the way I see it, if the universe wanted me to stop eating it, they wouldn't have a KFC so close to where I live. Okay, that's a lie - I know that if I was hungry enough, I would absolutely crawl over several yards of red-hot coals for a box of Popcorn Chicken.
There's nothing I wouldn't do for fried chicken, so it's a good thing I don't have a helicopter license - I'd for certain be doing what this cop out in South Africa is doing, and landing an actual helicopter in a car park so I could score some delicious fried chicken. Is he insane... or is he just clever?
Maybe he's insane. But either way, I think this video is pretty insane.
It took place in a shopping mall car park in Komani, South Africa, where surveillance footage showed a chopper descending upon a car park like a season finale of Miami Vice, but there was no kidnapping to foil or murderer on the run on this occasion; just one guy, really hungry for some fried chicken.
CCTV footage then showed the pilot standing in line at KFC (to be fair, he probably would have struggled to fit his vehicle in the drive-thru), then walking back to the helicopter with meal in hand, probably nibbling on a french fry or two as he took to the skies once more.
This was all witnessed by a very bemused Bill Harington, who recounted the entire thing on Facebook, sharing a photo of the officer in question:
"On Tuesday 2018/10/23 at about 14:00 a South African Police Service helicopter, descended down from the blue skies in the Eastern Cape and landed between cars and pedestrians on the parking lot of one of the local shopping centres in Queenstown (Now Komani).
This was not an official police practice run and or for any police duty concern, other than for this Police Pilot, to land, switch his blades off and walked nonchalant 30 meters into a chicken outlet; thus, not to investigate a crime scene or what so ever, but to queue in line for a quick take away and some gravy with it."
In response to seeing their employee using the helicopter to pick up some KFC instead of... y'know, keeping the public safe, national police spokesperson Brigadier Vishnu Naidoo spoke to News24.
"They were on patrol in the Eastern Cape, but the question of them landing and why is still under investigation," Naidoo explained, though I feel like the 'why' of this was clearly the lure of fried chicken. The investigation is still underway, but once it concludes, it's not unreasonable to assume that this particular officer of the law will fry for his actions.