Ladies and gentlemen, I hope your homes all smell... okay. Look, life's full of stresses and I'm sure you're cooking a lot, but there's nothing more off-putting than walking into a new home and realising it smells weird. Thanks a lot for inviting me over, by the way. You really know how to hurt a guy's feelings.
For the most part, while they've not always wanted to invite me in, most people's homes I've visited have smelled quite good. But if you're really looking to make me feel welcome in your home, there's only really one smell I'm looking forward to picking up on the old nostrils - and you're going to need to light a candle.
At this point, KFC are known for being a wacky, unorthodox marketing company that also happens to sell delicious fried chicken. Bath bombs, haircuts, a sum of $11,000 or a romance novel - you name it, KFC have done it, and they've had a considerable amount of success doing so.
But while most of their tie-ins have been fun and all, none of them have quite been the assault to the olfactory senses that I'd prefer in my novelty items. That is, until now - KFC's newest such item is a candle, but not just any candle. When you light this bad boy, it'll give off that delicious gravy scent.
While gravy's one of those scents that could very easily be mistaken for a particularly vivid fart in the wrong context, I for one am excited to have the chance to have my home smell constantly of gravy. But if you're like me, there's some bad news: there are only 230 of these limited edition candles to go around.
The good news, however, is that there's a really simple way to throw your name in the hat for this particular promotion. No payment necessary, folks.
KFC, perhaps unsurprisingly, are pretty chuffed with their latest little trinket. "You’re not dreaming. You really can now fill your home with the incredible aroma of KFC gravy with this limited edition candle… it’s staggeringly nose stimulating," mused a spokesperson for the company. Meanwhile, KFC's trusted parfumier also went into detail as to how they actually created this incredible aroma.
“What an honour it was to create a candle with such a highly-beloved scent. Initially the different ingredients within the gravy were split into their constituent parts and fragrances matched to each. Then the scent was built component by component in the similar ratios as KFC’s iconic gravy.
The artisanal approach to creating the candles was crucial to ensure the familiar and evocative aroma of gravy was perfectly captured.”
Mmm, sounds delicious, doesn't it? All you have to do is head to the official KFC website, and enter your e-mail and name into the required places. Once you've got that down, all you have to do is wait. Ah, the agonising seconds...
Good luck, gravy lovers! May your homes smell permanently of gravy. If they are, you'll never get me out of there.