14 Strangest things drug dealers were offered in compensation for drugs

Most of us use legal drugs, like caffeine, alcohol and marijuana (depending on where you live). But others crave illegal ones, like cocaine, ecstasy and marijuana (depending on where you live). And the only way to buy those seductive substances is from a drug dealer. (I asked at Target. They don't have 'em.)

These drugs are more expensive, and more addicting, so some users spend a fortune. And when they run out of cash, they improvise, and try to haggle, ready to swap whatever's in their apartment for a quick fix. Luckily, drug dealers are pretty open-minded.

On Reddit, the user Bluephobes asked, "Drug dealers of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been offered in compensation for drugs?" Here are 14 responses.

1. A graphing calculator

"My dealer in high school would get people (usually gullible freshmen) to give him their $80-120 graphing calculator in exchange for $10-20 worth of weed." - FlipThatBottle

2. Magic: The Gathering cards

"My dealer took Magic cards back in 94 and 95." - we_belong_dead

3. School sign

"This was in the 90's. A school near me was going through some major renovations-- they were practically going to be built again from the ground up. Anyways, a district administrator tried to trade one of those big outdoor school signs for some cocaine." - phosphophyIIite

4, Trumpet

"Know a dude who traded his trumpet for some blow" - heraclitus33

5. Roofing

"My old dealer got his leaky roof fixed by a roofing crew he sold crack to" - jbm013

"Sadly, his roof still leaks, because his roofing crew smokes crack - RadarRanger

6. School essay

"I had a kid write me an essay for To Kill a Mockingbird in high school for a 1/8 of weed. Got an A. Gave him an extra bag for it." - xDrakellx

7. Dollar shirt

"The strangest thing I got was a dollar t shirt. It was just a dollar but it was folded into a tiny shirt and I thought it was cute so the kid basically got a gram for one dollar. I still have it too." - noname310

8. Salmon

"Not a drug dealer but my drug dealing friend once came into the kitchen of the restaurant while I'm chopping celery or something and he's dragging a big huge black garbage bag behind him. ... He pulled the garbage back back and he had three huge Alaskan salmon in there. Some guy didn't have enough cash so he paid him in salmon." - MettaAhimsa

9. Loose change

"I used to pay with loose change when I was a poor kid. Weed dealer loved it - his job had vending machines, and I supported his snack habit." - Silos_and_sirens

10. PBJ

"I traded a PB&J for pot once. My dealer was hungry and I had a packed lunch." - AMaSTRIPPER_AMA

10. Macaroni jewelry

"I used to hang with an older lady. She was a crackhead. I once saw her dealer offer her a 50 slab for some macaroni jewelry her daughter mad for her. She didn't do it." - Satanic_mechanic_666

11. Their dog

"Someone offered me their dog for a $50 bag. They were such a shitty person and a terrible dog owner. You best believe I took that f***ing dog and we had 8 glorious years together. Don't tell my current dog, that was the most caring dog I have ever met. I miss the big guy every day" - 401_native

13. Children

"I at one point during my time working with the state was informed that a client had offered her children to her cocaine dealer in exchange for more cocaine. Her cocaine dealer was aware she was seeing us for treatment, and proceeded to call us and report the situation. The children were removed from her care." - TheChaoticDoctor

14. Christmas dinner

"Former drug dealer here, I used to do it so I could afford to eat while at uni. I once had somebody offer to invite me to Christmas dinner in exchange for some weed, I said yes and I got to enjoy Christmas with him and his family stoned out of our minds! Was an awesome experience and since I couldn't afford the trip home for Christmas it turned what would have been a depressing day into one of my all time favorite memories!" - AgroTeddy

Well, it's nice to end on a wholesome note, isn't it? Who knew a drug deal could be so heartwarming? If you'd like to peruse more of the answers, head over to Ask Reddit.