6 Ways to survive breaking up with your bestie

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By VT

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While we've all been through romantic breakups, a BFF split is something else entirely. When you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have an entire roster of people to call over - and your bestie is at the forefront; feeding you tubs of Ben and Jerry's, topping up your glass of pinot noir, and mopping up the tears. Losing a best friend, on the other hand, can be even more of an isolating experience, as you no longer have that tried-and-true shoulder to cry on.

And it's surprisingly common. Nearly everyone has a story about calling it quits with someone that they thought would be there for the long-run - maid of honour, godmother duties and all. But regardless of whether it was to do with discovering that their friendship was toxic, or because of some irreconcilable personality clash, things do eventually get better. And if that reality feels too far away right now, here are six things that will get you through in the meantime.

1. You don't always need closure

Sure, it can be tempting to rehash every disagreement, and to figure out why exactly things didn't work out, but sometimes this can be more destructive than useful. If you're going to go for it anyway, make sure you're doing it when both parties are calm and level-headed. Discussing such matters when you're still upset and angry will only escalate the situation further.

2. Keep yourself occupied

 Keep yourself busy by having something to look forward to, just like you would do after a romantic breakup. Whether this is planning drinks with your extended friends circle, or finally booking tickets to the play that you've had your eye on for so long, your best bet for keeping your mind preoccupied can be found by stepping outside.

3. Put yourself out there

Obviously you don't need to find yourself a new bestie straight away, however, it's a good idea to play the field a little - in a friendship sense. Take up that work colleague's offer to have drinks, and reach out to acquaintances that you think you could have a connection with. And don't forget about all your other friends too - you could end up becoming closer to them than you think.

4. Be mindful of social media 

Just like you'd delete your ex's number and block them from your social media feeds, it can be helpful to take a break from your former bestie. It may be triggering to see pictures of them living it up with their other mates, or - shock horror - your mutual friends. It also stops you from stalking them incessantly, because let's face it, we just can't help ourselves.

5. Try to learn from it 

If you were partly responsible for the split, try to think about what you could learn for the future, and for all of the other friendships you'll have later down the line. Breakups are always a good time for self-reflection, and you'll ultimately thank yourself for getting to know yourself a bit better.

On the flip-side, it's also important to analyse what the other party did tooso you know what not to look for in the future.

6. Accept that this may be it 

While we sometimes recover from a friendship "breakup", in many instances it's better to just let go. Sure, you have wonderful memories together, but you can continue to cherish those times while also accepting that the relationship wasn't right for you. Chalk it up to gained experience, and allow yourself to begin the process of moving on.

Well, there you have it. While breaking up with your BFF can feel like a tremendous loss at first, it is something that you eventually get over. And think about it this way - there was trouble for a reason. 

6 Ways to survive breaking up with your bestie

vt-author-image

By VT

Article saved!Article saved!

While we've all been through romantic breakups, a BFF split is something else entirely. When you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have an entire roster of people to call over - and your bestie is at the forefront; feeding you tubs of Ben and Jerry's, topping up your glass of pinot noir, and mopping up the tears. Losing a best friend, on the other hand, can be even more of an isolating experience, as you no longer have that tried-and-true shoulder to cry on.

And it's surprisingly common. Nearly everyone has a story about calling it quits with someone that they thought would be there for the long-run - maid of honour, godmother duties and all. But regardless of whether it was to do with discovering that their friendship was toxic, or because of some irreconcilable personality clash, things do eventually get better. And if that reality feels too far away right now, here are six things that will get you through in the meantime.

1. You don't always need closure

Sure, it can be tempting to rehash every disagreement, and to figure out why exactly things didn't work out, but sometimes this can be more destructive than useful. If you're going to go for it anyway, make sure you're doing it when both parties are calm and level-headed. Discussing such matters when you're still upset and angry will only escalate the situation further.

2. Keep yourself occupied

 Keep yourself busy by having something to look forward to, just like you would do after a romantic breakup. Whether this is planning drinks with your extended friends circle, or finally booking tickets to the play that you've had your eye on for so long, your best bet for keeping your mind preoccupied can be found by stepping outside.

3. Put yourself out there

Obviously you don't need to find yourself a new bestie straight away, however, it's a good idea to play the field a little - in a friendship sense. Take up that work colleague's offer to have drinks, and reach out to acquaintances that you think you could have a connection with. And don't forget about all your other friends too - you could end up becoming closer to them than you think.

4. Be mindful of social media 

Just like you'd delete your ex's number and block them from your social media feeds, it can be helpful to take a break from your former bestie. It may be triggering to see pictures of them living it up with their other mates, or - shock horror - your mutual friends. It also stops you from stalking them incessantly, because let's face it, we just can't help ourselves.

5. Try to learn from it 

If you were partly responsible for the split, try to think about what you could learn for the future, and for all of the other friendships you'll have later down the line. Breakups are always a good time for self-reflection, and you'll ultimately thank yourself for getting to know yourself a bit better.

On the flip-side, it's also important to analyse what the other party did tooso you know what not to look for in the future.

6. Accept that this may be it 

While we sometimes recover from a friendship "breakup", in many instances it's better to just let go. Sure, you have wonderful memories together, but you can continue to cherish those times while also accepting that the relationship wasn't right for you. Chalk it up to gained experience, and allow yourself to begin the process of moving on.

Well, there you have it. While breaking up with your BFF can feel like a tremendous loss at first, it is something that you eventually get over. And think about it this way - there was trouble for a reason.