Dating coach reveals that roasting each other is actually making your relationship stronger
When it comes to interacting with other people, there's a common mantra that many of us will remember being taught as little kids: "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
This seems like pretty good advice, really. After all, you'd never call out a stranger on the street for having an ugly outfit, would you? And if your boss kept going on about some boring holiday anecdote from years ago, you'd hardly interrupt him with a brusque, "cool story, bro".
But if your other half came out looking like they'd borrowed an outfit from their nanna's wardrobe, you bet they're gonna get a roasting.
As it turns out, though, that's actually a fairly healthy way to interact in a relationship.
According to celebrity dating coach and host of the podcast 'Man Whisperer', Laurel House, making a dig at your partner every now and then can actually strengthen the relationship between the two of you.
"When you roast each other’s quirks, you are effectively pointing out the little, sometimes ignored sides to your personalities," explains House. She goes on to explain that, quite often, people actually pick on the features of their other half that they like the most: "If you ask the roaster what they find most attractive about their partner, there’s a good chance it could be the exact same thing that they roast them over."
On top of that, it allows you guys to have a little fun with one another. It's a fairly intimate activity - believe it or not - and talking about things that you might be insecure about in a fun and laid-back manner will encourage the bond between you to grow.
Plus, there's always a chance that there's something which may genuinely annoy you about your partner, and turning the issue into a fun roast might drop the hint that they're doing something wrong. Perhaps they spend too much time getting ready before you go out, or never do the dishes on an evening.
The trick, of course, is to ensure that you always strike the right balance. "Make sure that not only your personalities mesh, but your humours do too—so no one takes offence, feels hurt, or gets defensive," House says.
Essentially, there's no harm in playfully mocking your beau for how fussy they are with their food or how nerdy they get with video games - as long as the joke never becomes a serious insult. If it does reach that point, maybe pull it back a bit and consider why you're roasting your partner so much.
So, if your other half roasts you over little things, it could just mean that they really like the little quirks you have. Then again, it could be something that's annoying them.
It should be pretty easy to work out from the context: if they pick on you for being "too cute", that's prooobably good thing; if they call you out for buying too many clothes, on the other hand, that might be a subtle hint for you to cut down on your purchasing habits.
As always, then, the way to thrive in a relationship with someone is to learn to communicate with them effectively - and roast the absolute cr*p out of them, of course.