Nearly every woman I have spoken to – myself included – has experienced street harassment. The catcalls, jeers and prolonged stares have become something we expect while carrying out simple, everyday tasks, such as commuting to work and doing the grocery shop.
Recently, one woman was murdered while attempting the most ubiquitous of activities; walking home from a friend's house. Since the disappearance of Sarah Everard on March 3, a spotlight has been shone on women's safety in public – or the lack thereof.
The impact that this continued harassment from such an early age can have on women is concerning. "When we are attacked, shouted at, or abused, we can then shame ourselves," psychotherapist, Abi Jude, BA (Hons) MBACP, tells VT.
Young girls, especially, can grow into women who "form themselves bodily to not take up space," she continues. "If you're walking past a group of men who are particularly noisy, you may shrink a bit, and look at the floor.
"This will also affect your self-esteem – it sends a message that you need to alter yourself to fit into a male world. You're literally squashing yourself, instead of being expansive and feeling confident as a woman."
On the same day that Everard's body was found, U.N. Women U.K. released a damning survey that revealed that 97 per cent of women said they had been sexually harassed in public. It's a sobering statistic, but one that doesn't become fully humanised until you listen to the lived experiences of women, and the impact it can have on everything from their mental wellbeing to the places they choose to live.
Here, to raise awareness of this growing issue, three women bravely share their experiences of street harassment with VT, and how it's affected their mental health.
Meriem's story
Mariem Mahdhi – who spends her time living between Italy and England – has experienced street harassment in both countries. Opening up about her experience in London, she tells me she was forced to move to a different area of the city because of the continued harassment she would endure while travelling home after working late nights.
Recalling two instances, the 22-year-old says: "There was a man who tried to speak to me every morning, and when I stopped replying he would just shout at me until my neighbour would come outside. Another time, when I was leaving work around 2 AM, a man started harassing me, and all I could hear was the word 'blowjob'.
"I try to have a strong reaction or ignore them, but sometimes, when it happens more than once, I just go home and cry – because it's a lot. It's not just London where women are being followed at night – it's a worldwide emergency. Before, I used to enjoy going outside for walks at night, but I don't like it anymore. Nobody is stopping these people, so why would I risk my life for a stroll?"
Meriem's experiences began young, when she was seven-years-old. The second incident coincided with the first time she was allowed outside alone. "There was an old man, he was whistling and shouting stuff at me. And from that time, I stopped counting. It became normal – something that you would just try to erase from your brain."
Ez's story
The same goes for Ez Dyer who tells me that an older man attempted to "entice" her when she was eight. "It's been constant since then," the now-41-year-old says.
When Ez was in her early twenties, a group of middle-aged men got physical with her and her girlfriends in a bar. "We were just dancing and having a good time, and these men, who must have been over 50 with wives and kids, decided they could harass and grope us," she says.
"I confronted them but they did it again – so we went at them. They didn't care, and started attacking and pushing us. It went out onto the street before a few people jumped in. They later came and apologised, saying, 'we thought you were out of towners, so we could try it'."
Until there is a tangible change, Ez says that she's going to ensure that her young nieces receive self-defence training. "I'm forever telling my brothers and sisters to get their girls prepared for the future, because it won't be going away soon, despite all the progress we're making. I still feel like I need to get the next generation prepared. It's really sad."
Street harassment must, of course, be put into its appropriate context, Abi stresses, as it's systemic, and affected by class and race. She does, however, encourage all women to share their experiences with someone they trust, whether it be female friends, a trusted family member or a significant other. "It can be incredibly empowering and affirming."
Eleanor's story
Just before our conversation, 25-year-old Eleanor* tells me that she had a man in a van beep at her as she was walking past. She was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and a jacket. "I know it's terrible that I even need to bring up what I'm wearing because I shouldn't have to justify that," she tells me.
Between the ages of 16-19, this treatment – which began while she was still in school uniform – made Eleanor "very insecure" about her sartorial choices. "Going out became a real issue as I'd be overthinking about what I was wearing in case I got comments," she says.
"There are so many stories like that between me and my friends, and it's continued till today. Sometimes it will be shouting out the car window, or a guy stopping his car, and saying things, which can be intimidating. I've started fighting back, but that's normally met with laughter. One time two guys got really angry. It was scary afterwards as I was worried they would drive around and find me. I even considered changing my route home, as it wasn't far away from where I lived. I'm just always so hyper-aware."
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*Eleanor chose not to share her surname or an image of herself
(Feature Image Credit: Alamy)
