A 35-year-old virgin has opened up about her decision to maintain her virginity despite the societal pressures she faces.

Lauren Harkins, from Portland, Maine, isn’t following the conventional dating script.

Unlike many others her age, she’s never experienced intimacy, never been romantically involved, and hasn’t once felt the urge to rush into anything. And no, it’s not because of religion or some vow of chastity.

While her peers were swapping crushes and diving into young love, Lauren stood apart, completely disinterested in it all. Relationships felt “juvenile” and “overly complicated” to her back then.

Lauren Harkins Opens Up About Relationships

Taking to TikTok, Lauren explained that while others claim that she is "missing out" on not being in a relationship, she doesn't want to settle for less than she expects.

She notes that she doesn't believe that she is missing out by not sleeping with someone that she isn't in love with.

Lauren noted that she isn't someone who wastes her own time, and that she would rather wait for the best rather than "settle for mediocre."

The 35-year-old explains that she is more than happy to wait for a genuine connection, because then she will have the satisfaction of knowing that she "did not settle."

Lauren Discusses Her Virginity

Interestingly, Lauren explains that she has been told that she is doing a "disservice to women" by remaining a virgin.

She explains that she isn't affiliated with "purity culture" and doesn't really subscribe to any belief system other than her own - describing herself as a "free thinker".

Lauren explains that while receiving hate from women is rare, it often confuses her because she isn't who they believe she is.

She isn't attempting to be a "traditional wife" while simultaneously the men who send her abuse call her "expired".

So she feels like she's between a rock and a hard place.

And you've got to hand it to Lauren, she's clearly very comfortable with who she is and the decisions she's making.

The Internet Responds

As is often the case with sharing any opinion on the internet, people will have a lot to say about it.

And Lauren's videos are often the centre of a debate, though most are favourable.

One person fairly questioned: "How do you know what you want if you don’t go through the realities of a relationship?"

To which Lauren replied: "I trust my intuition on that one. I also learn from others’ mistakes—something I highly recommend."

A second person wrote: "You are not missing out, you have your own life and you live it at your own pace. Don’t listen to anyone trying to scare you."

While a fourth said: "The problem with today's society is that people put loosing a V card or being in relationship as milestone that needs to be achieved until certain age."

Featured image credit: Tim Robberts / Getty

A comedian has opened up about the struggles of dating due to her being a virgin at the age of 36.

Everyone will have a different view on relationships, with some diving head first from an early age while others are a bit more tentative.

Neither approach is wrong because everyone has a different outlook on life and how they want to spend their time, and the topic of sex is often taboo.

For some, losing their virginity isn't a big deal, while others hold it sacred and want to ensure that the first time they get intimate with another person is at the right time.

Sonali Chandra, a 36-year-old stand-up comedian, recently took part in a candid video with Truly where she opened up about her sex life.

Chandra revealed her struggles with maintaining her virginity and a low count of just five kisses shared in her life.

Growing up in a conservative household, Chandra was taught to view sex as a sacred act reserved for marriage. This upbringing left a mark on her views about intimacy.

While societal norms may push individuals to rush into physical relationships, Chandra firmly believes in waiting for the right person.

Even her own family, concerned about her single status at 36, has urged her to take the plunge into the world of physical intimacy. However, Chandra remains resolute in her commitment to only engage in romantic encounters with a partner who "puts a ring on it."

Opening up about her experiences, Chandra shared a poignant memory from her past: "The first time I ever told a guy that I'm still a virgin was when I was 26. The guy who was my first kiss, my first actual relationship, he was shocked. His jaw dropped and he asked if I was gonna be a virgin for eternity."

Heartbreakingly, Chandra discovered on her 27th birthday that her boyfriend had ghosted her after this revelation, a pattern that repeated itself in subsequent relationships.

She said: "Whenever these guys have ghosted me, I have gone through emotional hell. It’s heart-wrenching and makes me think that guys only think I'm good for sex."

Chandra emphasizes that she views sex as a sacred and special act, preferring to use the term "making love." She stated: "I'll be ready when I have a ring from 'the one.'"

While Chandra's unique perspective on intimacy has influenced her dating life, she has been in three serious relationships and has dated a total of nine men. Her "strict upbringing" had a "profound impact" on her dating experiences, as she was not allowed to socialize or date during her teenage and college years.

In her quest for love, Chandra has turned to dating apps and even appeared on TV dating shows. Despite societal pressures and her own family's concerns, she remains confident in her decision to avoid an arranged marriage, saying: "I don't want my parents deciding who I have sex with, ew, we don't talk about that stuff."

Everyone has the right to approach relationships and sex however they feel comfortable!

Featured image credit: Paul Archuleta/Getty

A woman has revealed why she chose to use the services of a male escort in order to lose her virginity when she was 43.

There can be many reasons why a person chooses to wait to lose their virginity until later in life, from religious beliefs to just not finding the right person to share that intimate moment with.

For those living with complex disabilities, the world of sex and dating can often be more complicated still.

Melanie Hawkes, who has been in a wheelchair since the age of three after an illness, opened up on her decision to employ a male escort so she could lose her virginity at the age of 43.

Hawkes, who is from Perth, Australia, was just two years old when she was diagnosed with transverse myelitis, a disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord following an infection.

She had been rushed to hospital by her parents after she went from walking and talking like any other toddler, to stumbling around like she was "drunk", before losing the ability to move her legs and retaining only limited mobility in her arms.

While some children recover fully from transverse myelitis, Hawkes was among those that are left with life-long effects and has needed to use a wheelchair since the age of three, as well as having occasional pain and issues with her breathing, meaning she needs a support worker to help her with daily life.

Hawkes revealed that the only time sex had been discussed in her household growing up was when her parents warned her brothers not to get a girl pregnant before marriage.

She told Take 5 magazine (via news.com.au) that they never brought up the topic of intimacy with her, explaining: "It wasn’t like I could sneak out, so they weren’t worried about me."

Hawkes, never had a sexual experience until she reached her 40s, believed that she would never have a life partner, so focused herself on other things.

"I’d liked a guy in uni, but after he was teased about having feelings for me, he kept his distance," she confessed. "After that, I assumed my dream of having a partner someday wouldn’t happen, so I busied myself with work and other commitments."

However, the turning point came in 2022 when Hawkes contracted Covid and felt "sure" she was going to die from the virus after experiencing trouble with her breathing.

Tracy (name has been changed), her support worker, offered to give her a massage after finding she had a painful neck after having to sleep upright to help with her breathing in the night.

While it was only a neck and back massage, Hawkes realized it was the "first time [she'd] been touched so intimately by anyone".

It was through Tracy that Hawkes found out that sex workers specializing in disabled clients exist after she revealed that she used to work as one herself in the past.

Hawkes began looking for a suitable escort - which cost around $400 AUD ($270 USD) - after realizing that "life was too short" after her brush with Covid, and found one called Chayse who she was interested in meeting with.

She received a call back from Chayse around 10 minutes after she messaged him, and found speaking with him put her at ease to discuss what she wanted from their interaction.

Hawkes first booked in for a two-hour erotic massage in a month's time, but ended up moving her appointment forward as she was "too eager to wait."

She visited Chayse's house for her first appointment after asking Tracy to take her there and help dress her in sexy underwear she had bought online specially for the meeting, as well as helping her onto the massage table, before leaving the pair to it.

After a successful first meeting, Hawkes arranged another session for two weeks' time at her own home, which was "better equipped for [her] needs."

She revealed: "We were together for three exhilarating hours and the next morning my whole body was aching. Chayse had bent me into so many different positions, but they’d all felt so good at the time.

"Now, I’m seeing Chayse regularly. He’s opened me up to a world I’d been missing for so long, and I’m loving every minute."

Hawkes revealed that her sessions with Chayse are helping her to discover what she does and doesn't like in the bedroom, and hopes that she will find a life partner - something she hadn't had the confidence to do before.

She explained: "I know some people will judge me, but that’s easy if you don’t have a disability. You don’t know what it’s like. People who matter to me are supportive and this is the happiest I’ve ever been.

"My only regret is not doing it sooner. I’m speaking out now, so people with disabilities know there are options for intimacy."

Melanie concluded: "We deserve to feel loved and desired, like anyone else."

Featured image credit: Getty Images

A woman has opened up about why she chose to use a male escort to lose her virginity at the age of 43.

Whether it's down to religious beliefs or just not finding the right person until later in life, there can be many reasons why intimacy does not always start early for some people.

And for those with complex disabilities, the world of sex and dating can often be more complicated still.

Melanie Hawkes, 43, from Perth in Australia, opened up about her decision to use a male escort to lose her virginity after an illness as a child has left her needing a wheelchair since the age of three.

Melanie was just two years old when she was diagnosed with transverse myelitis, a disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord as a result of an infection.

Her parents had rushed her to hospital after she went from walking and talking like any other toddler, to stumbling around like she was "drunk", before becoming paralysed in her legs and having only limited movement in her arms.

While some children fully recover from transverse myelitis, Melanie was among those who do not, and has required a wheelchair since the age of three and also experiences occasional pain and issues with her breathing, requiring support workers to help her with daily life.

Melanie revealed that she had never had a sexual experience until her 40s, as the only time sex had been discussed in her household was her parents warning her brothers not to get a girl pregnant before marriage.

She told Take 5 magazine (via news.com.au) that they didn't broach the subject with her, explaining: "It wasn’t like I could sneak out, so they weren’t worried about me."

Melanie added: "I’d liked a guy in uni, but after he was teased about having feelings for me, he kept his distance. After that, I assumed my dream of having a partner someday wouldn’t happen, so I busied myself with work and other commitments."

However, in 2022 Melanie contracted Covid and had trouble with her breathing, and was "sure" she had been about to die from the virus.

Her support worker Tracy (name has been changed) offered to give her a massage one day after she found her neck had been hurting due to having to sleep upright to help with her breathing in the night.

While it was just a neck and back massage, it made Melanie realize it was the "first time [she'd] been touched so intimately by anyone".

It was Tracy who'd revealed to Melanie that sex workers specializing in disabled clients existed - revealing that she used to work as one herself in the past.

With her Covid scare making her realize that "life was too short", Melanie began to look for a suitable escort - which cost around $400 AUD ($270 USD) an hour - and stumbled across one called Chayse who she liked the look of.

She messaged Chayse and received a call from him 10 minutes later, and speaking to him put her at ease and let her discuss what she wanted from him.

Melanie first booked for a two-hour erotic massage with Chayse, initially for a month's time but ended up moving it forward as she was "too eager to wait".

Their first appointment was at Chayse's house and Melanie asked Tracy to take her there, helping her dress in sexy underwear she'd bought online for the meeting and getting her onto the massage table before leaving the pair to it.

Afterward, she arranged another session at her own home, telling the publication: "Two weeks later, we met again at my house, as it was better equipped for my needs. We were together for three exhilarating hours and the next morning my whole body was aching.

"Chayse had bent me into so many different positions, but they’d all felt so good at the time.

"Now, I’m seeing Chayse regularly. He’s opened me up to a world I’d been missing for so long, and I’m loving every minute."

Melanie revealed that she uses her sessions with Chayse to work out what she does and doesn't like in the bedroom in the hopes of finding a life partner, which she hadn't had the confidence to do before.

She explained: "I know some people will judge me, but that’s easy if you don’t have a disability. You don’t know what it’s like. People who matter to me are supportive and this is the happiest I’ve ever been.

"My only regret is not doing it sooner. I’m speaking out now, so people with disabilities know there are options for intimacy."

Melanie concluded: "We deserve to feel loved and desired, like anyone else."

Featured image credit:  Tero Vesalainen / Alamy 

From the moment we hit sexual maturity, the concept of virginity starts weighing down on us. At first, it's a subtle feeling; a mere hint. Like a grandparent nudging you in the ribs and saying, "so, have you got a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?" Gradually, it escalates, with each year adding more and more mass until - eventually - you feel like Atlas, carrying the weight of your empty sex life on your shoulders.

But when exactly is a normal time to "lose it"? Well, in the USA at least, the average person experiences their first time at the age of 17. This means that, if you're still inexperienced in the bedroom by the time you hit 18, you're in the minority. In fact, just 12.3 per cent of women and 14.3 per cent of men are still virgins in the age group of 20-24.

However, if you are still yet to experience the strange world that lies on the other side of a popped cherry, don't worry - you might just end up better off in life.

Paige Harden, a psychological scientist from the University of Texas at Austin, studied data taken from 1659 same-sex sibling pairs who were tracked from adolescence (around 16) to young adulthood (around 29) in order to find out whether the age at which people lose their virginity affects them later on in life to any noticeable degree.

Each person in the study was labeled as having lost their virginity early (before the age of 15), on time (aged 15-19), or late (older than 19). This was then compared to various aspects of their lives, and what they found was that those who fit into the "late" category were usually more satisfied with their relationships than those who had lost their V cards earlier on in life.

The correlation between the two factors was so strong, in fact, that it remained true even when genetic and environmental factors were taken into account, and were not written off as anomalies when educational attainment, income, religiousness, BMI, or attractiveness were considered, either.

According to Harden, there are several different reasons why this relationship between the age of losing one's virginity and later happiness might exist.

The first possibility is that people who have sex for the first time when they're older might only do so because they are naturally pickier than most, and won't opt for a relationship unless they know that it will be satisfying in the long term - as opposed to the horny teenagers who just went for anyone that was game.

The converse may also be true, however, and that it is the lateness of losing one's virginity that affects a person's attitude towards relationships, rather than vice versa. Basically, because they never had to deal with a poor-quality teenage relationship (which may or may not have involved aggression or victimization), they won't carry those same expectations and apprehensions into a later partnership.

But Harden also notes that it's possible that "individuals who first navigate intimate relationships in young adulthood, after they have accrued cognitive and emotional maturity, may learn more effective relationship skills than individuals who first learn scripts for intimate relationships while they are still teenagers."

Basically, then, people who hold off on disembarking the virginity train might find themselves ending up in a happier, stronger relationship further on down the line - meaning it's almost certainly worth the wait.