Being caught shoplifting is pretty mortifying. I can remember when I was a schoolboy, being dared by my friends into stealing a Snickers bar. I didn't want to look like a wuss, so I sidled up to one of the shelves in the newsagents, grabbed the first bar I could reach, and stuffed it into my pocket.
Unfortunately, when it came to the subtle art of purloining, I wasn't exactly the Artful Dodger and was caught red-handed by the proprietor almost immediately. I'll never forget the burning shame I felt when I was being reprimanded, and I haven't stolen anything else since that fateful day.
However, as embarrassing as that thwarted heist was for me, it's nothing compared to this thief, who was caught on CCTV stealing a particularly NSFW item from an adult shop this week.
Check out the footage of the NSFW heist below:The toe-curling footage in question comes from the BeDaring Adult Shop in Caboolture, north of Brisbane, which uploaded a security footage clip on Saturday morning, showing the thief - wearing bright pink sneakers, a baseball cap, and a black t-shirt with green lycra sleeves - managing to furtively snatch a 7.5 inch dildo, a sex machine stand, and several other accessories from the store, before making a hasty getaway.
The shop owners quickly uploaded the video to social media, and captioned the clip: "This person was in such a hurry in his fresh AF pink kicks, he forgot to pay for a 7.5'' (sex toy) and a sex machine stand on his way out of our Caboolture store."
Local law enforcement claims that they're still looking for the man in question, but if you or anyone you know has any information regarding his identity, then please don't hesitate to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.
Let's help bring this particularly randy thief to justice.