If I had unlimited funds and unlimited time, I think I'd skip trying to solve world hunger and focus entirely on myself; eating pizza until my heart clogged, and then paying the best surgeons to sew me a new one. I'm a little selfish, I know, but pizza is just wonderful, isn't it?
Regardless of whether you're going for tons of cheese, pepperoni or if you're one of those weirdos who loves pineapple on there, I'm not going to judge too much; as long as you're enjoying pizza on a regular basis, I won't complain. But in a world full of examples of people pledging their love in the most spectacular of ways, how could you pledge your devotion to pizza?
By eating 40 inches of it in one sitting, obviously. Now, usually, asking for a 40-inch pizza will either get you laughed out of a restaurant or arrested (depending on how you go about trying to persuade your local pizzeria), but luckily, there's a pub out there which will allow you to eat that much pizza in one sitting, and you can even do it for free!
Provided you eat the entire thing, of course.
If you happened to be in Wilmslow near Manchester and you've got a hankering for a bit of cheese and dough, head down to The Carters Arms. When your server asks you what you'd like to eat, simply ask for the Mwah Pizza, and watch as the entire pub falls into silence.
The Mwah Pizza comes plain, but if you'd like, you can add extra toppings. Though, with 40 inches of sauce, cheese and dough, I doubt you'll have much room for anchovies. Then, with the help of your hungriest friend (trying to eat this alone will definitely kill you), you've then got half an hour to eat the entire thing.
If you can do that - and live to tell the tale - you'll be able to gain £50 for your trouble; the exact amount it would take to attempt this insane pizza eating challenge, plus your name and your bloated, sweaty picture on their wall of fame. Though, of course, you'd have to finish it.
There's also the option of paying £70 to not have the pressure of having to speed-eat 40 inches of pizza, and if you managed to figure out how to get it home, you wouldn't have to worry about buying food for at least another week.
That video above shows two housemates attempting to take on the pizza challenge, and it looks like one hell of a challenge, that's for sure. So, who will you take with you on this most important of challenges? I wonder if at some point you stop stuffing yourself with artery-clogging mozzarella, remember that you've got a job, family and friends that love you, and think to yourself: "maybe I'll have a salad instead."
Then, you carry right on, because it's potentially free pizza.