12-Year-old boy dials 911 after his parents serve him salad for dinner
Look, you guys. Whether you're an avid meat-eater, a lover of the keto diet or a vegan; as long as you appreciate the joyousness of food, I have no quarrel with you. Whether we're talking health reasons, environmental and ethical reasons or just plain old personal preference, I think it's up to all of us to live our best lives. So do your thing.
What I'm not cool with, however, is if we go for a meal, and you order nothing but from a salad. As a snack or appetiser I can allow it, but if I'm on a date with someone who orders a salad for dinner, I always assume that this person is absolutely zero fun. I then excuse myself to the restroom, and discreetly climb out of the bathroom window to freedom.
As a child, I wasn't exactly the biggest fan of veggies, but regardless of the many spinach-related standoffs we had, my parents knew better than to try to make me eat an entire salad for dinner. I would have flat-out refused to eat, but one 12-year-old out in Halifax, Nova Scotia went one better when his parents dared to serve him salad for dinner.
At some point last week, this youngster raced downstairs at the calls of his parents for dinner, his mouth probably watering with dreams of delicious pizza, burgers or mac and cheese. But instead of a wonderful meal fit for people rather than rabbits, the 12-year-old was greeted by the sight of a leafy salad. Lettuce. Onion. Tomato. Yuck.
As the realisation set in and this boy began to suspect that this was not a very late April Fool's prank from his parents, the rage began to simmer inside of his body. He could throw a tantrum, he could go on a hunger strike in protest, but no; the 12-year-old decided that a salad offence of this magnitude could only be dealt with by the steak knife of justice.
So, he picked up the phone and dialled 911. When the dispatcher picked up the phone, this pre-teen explained exactly what his parents had done. He then put down the phone, waiting for the cops to show up to arrest his mother and father. Maybe they'd drop him off at a McDonald's on the way to the police station.
This did not happen.
So the boy called again, more urgently this time. He stressed how much he hated chowing down on those gross greens and cold croutons, hoping this would hasten the arrival of police intervention. In a way, he was right: Canadian police did indeed show up at his door, but instead of taking him away from this salad nightmare, they instead had a lecture ready for him about the appropriate use of 911.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) Corporal Dal Hutchinson says that every day in Nova Scotia, people are making unnecessary or ridiculous calls to 911. "It's not just children that misuse 911, we see a lot of adults that use 911 … when they shouldn't be," said Hutchinson, before going on to say that the boy's parents were "not impressed" when the cops showed up at their door.
"If somebody's at risk of being harmed or it's a life-threatening situation whether it be a motor vehicle collision or an assault in progress or break and enter — those are the situations that require someone to call 911. It's an immediate emergency, you need first responders there as soon as possible."
But what kind of salad was it that caused this boy such dismay? "Obviously [it was] one to dislike because he called 911," said Hutchinson, before revealing that even he's forced to eat salad once in a while. "I have to eat healthy some days, and I typically have a salad everyday at lunch, but today is one of those days I'm not having one," explained the cop, though it's not clear whether he was not eating salad out of solidarity with the boy.
I like to think it was.