In this era of modern love that we live in, we're only just figuring out the proper etiquette of how to behave on Tinder dates. Certainly, mastering the act of seeming interested but not too interested can be tough, and we've just about come to terms with the fact that the three-day calling rule no longer applies to anyone under the big 3-0. But eventually, after a thousand or so "matches" and a dozen face-to-face encounters, you come to learn the basic protocols of dating in the digital age.

The difficulty of sustaining a long-term relationship, however, dates back to the very beginnings of monogamy. While the people of the internet claim that all it takes to maintain a fulfilling partnership is doing activities together and having sex on the regular, it's apparent that there's much more at stake - especially during the initial stages.

Certainly, many worry about whether they're moving at the "right" pace. Now, of course there are no hard or fast rules for how quickly a relationship should move, but it's evident that moving too fast is always a bad move. Here are 4 signs that you and your partner are getting ahead of yourselves...

1. You're not getting much time to yourself 

According to Carole Ann Rice - a life coach who specialises in relationships - protecting your alone time is tantamount to a healthy relationship. "In a new relationship, it seldom occurs where you spend every minute of every day with a person," she asserts. "If your partner is constantly asking you where you are, wanting to know exactly what you’re doing, or even asking to be with you more than you wish for, it is a sure sign that your relationship could be moving too quickly."

2. You've met their family before you were ready

While we're all intimidated by the prospect of meeting someone's family for the first time, as Carole says: "It's a huge milestone for many people as it adds a new dimension to the relationship." However, she emphasises that it can be "highly stressful, and maybe even a little intimidating."

As such, she advises that if you're not feeling ready, it's best to delay the encounter as you run the risk of setting a bad impression and potentially dampening the relationship.

3. You're excessively planning for the future

While it's all too easy to get carried away when in the initial throes of love, it can quickly go too far. "If the plans are getting a little out of your comfort zone, this is a red flag. If you've just started dating someone, and they’re already trying to discuss major life events like buying a home, children, and marriage, it is time to slow down," Carole states.

However, she added that thinking about the future isn't always a bad thing. For example, if your planning is aiding "organisation" it can also help you "enhance each other's goals".

4. You're feeling tied down 

While you may naturally want commitment from someone that you're interested in, Carole asserts that "the blanket of security has to be there in order for it to flourish." Indeed, in order to ultimately have a happy and healthy relationship, it should be "natural, easy, and mov[ing] at a pace that is right for both parties".

"If your partner is making decisions for you, obligating you to things that make you uncomfortable, or assuming that you agree without consulting how you feel, then it’s time to slow it down," Carole continued.

Well, there you have it. Are you moving too fast, or not fast enough?

As we break into 2018, many people will be embarking on their "New Year, New Me" missions. For some folks, this means joining a gym or trying out an alternative diet. For others, it might involve taking up a new hobby, or making an effort to continue with old ones. Some individuals, however, have marked 2018 as the year in which they will find "the one". However, starting a new relationship is a lot more complex than simply cutting dairy out of your life or learning how to play the tuba. There are certain rules you have to abide by - unwritten rules that nobody seems to tell you about until you go and accidentally break one. And one of the major ones at the beginning is how often you should meet up with your new beau. There are two extremes to approaching the first steps of a relationship: either you forego all the usual "take it slow" relationship etiquette and spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with them, or you play it way too casual and ignore them for several days - if not weeks - on end. It doesn't take a genius to know, then, that the route to success is to tread a line somewhere in the middle of those poles. And, according to author and psychiatrist Scott Carroll, that sweet spot is just twice a week. He explains:

"It’s important to stick to twice a week only so that you have plenty of time away from your new date to give your deepest feelings time to percolate up from your subconscious."

Ok, I guess this makes sense - but it's easier said than done. If you've just hit it off with someone and you discover there's more to it than simple Netflix and chilling, spending time with them becomes the only thing on your mind. But Carroll insists that spending time apart will actually intensify these feelings, and help you sift out the negative aspects of the connection early on in the relationship.

"These deep feeling are important because they will help you see any issues or problems with your new love interest," he says.

Essentially, the time apart is just as valuable as the time spent together. He goes on: "You don’t have to see someone daily, but seeing them at least once during the week and another night over the weekend keeps things moving forward. If you only see someone once every couple of weeks, it's almost like starting all over again from the beginning on each date." That being said, every relationship is different, and you should try to work off the vibes that you give one another. If you feel an instant spark with someone, seeing them three times a week isn't going to completely ruin the relationship. Likewise, if you think someone is deliberately distancing themselves from you for other reasons, don't feel obliged to carry on with the relationship just because you've set yourself a goal of meeting someone new and making it work. 2018 might be your year to find The One, but there's no point wasting your time on something you know will eventually fall apart.

It's hard to measure how well your relationship is going sometimes. In the absence of major arguments or endless romantic gestures, asking yourself whether your significant other is really your one true love can be extremely difficult. How exactly are we meant to know what the red flags to look out for are? Whether a relationship blossoms into a long-term affair or ends before things get too serious, all passionate relationships tend to start with a major case of the butterflies. You know that sensation when you feel something strange inside, as if you're both dreadfully nervous and overwhelmingly excited at the same time? It's a good feeling to have, but there is a point where this can go too far. Wendy L. Patrick, Ph.D, a behavioral expert, claims that if you feel nervous too far into the relationship, it could be a bad thing - even if it feels like you still have butterflies in your stomach. "If you are overly apprehensive every time you get together with your new paramour," she wrote on the blog Psychology Today, "it might be a sign that although he or she might be a great person, perhaps not the best fit for you”. Getting butterflies at the start is normal, but as time goes on, dates shouldn't feel like a performance where you can't relax or truly be yourself. Patrick writes: “In the long run, no one wants to continue participating in an activity that creates stress and discomfort. “Whether it is a dangerous sport, a speaking engagement, or a leadership role that requires taking on heavy responsibility, we are unable (and ultimately unwilling) to remain in a state of heightened anxiety and mental distress.” It's fair to say that you should always seek to make a good impression on your partner, but you shouldn't let this rule over you after a certain point. As Patrick puts it, you need to find someone “who validates and affirms who you are - not who you wish you were”. Referencing a study by Sandra J.E. Langeslag, Peter Muris and Ingmar H.A. Franken, in the Journal of Sex Research, titled "Measuring Romantic Love: Psychometric Properties of the Infatuation and Attachment Scale", she wrote about the difference between infatuation and true love, something which can be difficult to discern even late in the cycle. “The key is to learn to recognise the difference between infatuation and attachment," she wrote. “While the authors [of the study]  recognise that infatuation is associated with a higher level of arousal and euphoria, it is apparently a double-edged sword”. While infatuation isn't an entirely bad thing, it is far more likely to create negative feelings such as anxiety and nervousness, or play on your personal insecurities. So if you're feeling nervous on a date with a long-term partner, you may be closer to infatuation than love, but keeping in touch with your feelings helps. “This will allow you to select a partner who makes you feel self-assured, not insecure,” Dr Patrick explains. “Experiencing relational security, in turn, predicts relational stability, and ultimately success.” If we're to go with Patrick's theory on this, we should all expect that nervous feeling to die down at some point in a relationship, otherwise you won't be able to blame it on the butterflies.

For the last few weeks I've been thinking about someone. Thinking often and intently. I don't mean to - I haven't seen her since the beginning of the year, and we didn't date for very long. But even still, I keep catching myself thinking of her intently, imagining what could have been. Things ended because my feelings became too intense too quickly. Now her name's like a tune that's stuck in my head. I know I shouldn't be this way, but I just can't help myself. I've fallen for her hard. What do you do when you find yourself saddled intrusive thoughts, when you fantasise about the one that got away? So how do you hit the breaks when things are moving too quickly, and ensure that you can guard yourself against falling in love at the drop of a hat? The answer lies in a lot of self discipline, control and introspection. But what are the warning signs to look out for that tell you you're falling head over heels way too fast? Often we have sex too soon. The definition of "too soon" varies from person to person. For some, "too soon" could mean within the first month of you knowing a partner, or mean having sex after the first date, or maybe after only knowing them for an hour or so! It's not something that's universal to everyone. Sometimes early sex can really hamper a relationship in the long-term. There are plenty of people who can do the whole no-strings-attached schtick without a second thought, and that's fine for them - but for those of us to see sex as more than just physical gratification (e.g. as a means of furthering an emotional connection) having sex with the right person at the wrong time can push you straight to an intimate place, making you much more vulnerable than you would have been otherwise. [[heroimage||http://cdn.junglecreations.com/wp/junglecms/2017/08/Screen-Shot-2017-08-03-at-12.00.01.png]] You might text them too much, or send them too many Facebook messages, or Whatsapp them, or even call directly. Maybe you haven't known someone long, and suddenly your heart skips a beat whenever you feel your phone vibrate or hear the buzz of your text tone. That's fine when the other party is happy to reciprocate, but if your communication is disproportionate then maybe you need to pull back a bit, otherwise that silence and that empty inbox is going to be that much harder to cope with if things go south. Sharing stuff is an important part of relationship - if you want things to be serious then at some point, no matter how stoic you might be otherwise, you have to open up to the other person and share your doubts, fears and insecurities. But you can have too much of a good thing. Developing a relationship with someone should be like opening Christmas presents - you should be savouring the pleasure and excitement of discovering new and surprising things. Even if you're deeply comfortable with someone, to the point you feel like you can share every secret you've had since the age of four: don't. Hold back and ration yourself. You don't want to give too much away or overwhelm the other person. We're all guilty of visualising what-could-have-been and other imaginings when we've fallen for someone and want to stay with them. Imagination is like a balm, fantasises a packet of aspirin that's always at your elbow - but anyone can become addicted to them. It's a bad idea to fall in love with someone who fulfils a broad criteria, but you can lean too far in the opposite direction and become totally obsessed with the one person. Now that's fine for married couples and species that mate for life, but after a fortnight? Way too unrealistic. If you find yourself interacting with others and finding them unsatisfactory by comparison, that could be your first clue that you're putting the other person on a pedestal. Now that you've seen what to look out for, here's what you can do to put things in reverse and take back control of your feelings for someone. If you've fallen for someone badly and are becoming fixated on them, the best thing to do is to look at the experience in the long term. Too often in romantic situations we apply think in terms of permanent solutions to transient emotional issues. Take some time to look at the whole and assess your feelings from a long-term perspective. If you've been obsessing over someone then the best way to bounce back is by finding something else to do that makes you happy and gives you worth. When you fall for someone too fast you're probably stuck in a rut from chasing an imagined contentment, maybe to fill an unfulfilling vacuum in other parts of your life. Taking up a new hobby, learning a new skill or a language, or even just diving into a personal project or self-improvement, can make up the difference and boost self-esteem. Often, our need to get into a relationship quickly and push for more and more intimacy is a result of boredom and a desire to have something and someone new and exciting in our lives. But if you find yourself too attached to someone then you inevitably miss out on some of the pleasure solitude affords. You can be alone without being lonely: learn to enjoy spending time in the company of yourself. If circumstances mean that you and the object of your affection can't be together, if they're not ready or not willing to get involved with something they're not prepared for, then don't harbour any ill will towards them. After all, if they've chosen to distance themselves from you then there's nothing you can say to change their mind. Let them decide whether the relationship is right, give them plenty of space, and above all, don't resent them for what is ultimately their decision. When you've fallen in love with someone, no matter what the pace, it feels like the desired person is the only one in the world. This kind of monomania makes it easy to become complacent, and neglect making new connections, meeting new people. Obsessing over one attachment cuts you off from a whole host of others. It says "I'm convinced I've met the perfect person for me, and I'm certain, without evidence, that I won't meet someone better." Don't ignore other people and other romantic opportunities.

In the last few years, internet dating has completely transformed. There was a time where it was seen as a last resort for those who feel like they missed the boat finding 'the one', turning to certain websites to fill in lengthy forms that would supposedly help them find their perfect match.

Nowadays, it's as simple as swiping left or right. And rather than a last resort, pretty much everyone is on the likes of Tinder and Bumble. However, while there are a huge amount of people using these dating apps now, there are a variety of ways you can approach it.

There are those who are very particular with who they date, making sure to have long conversations with their matches before they actually meet up. Then there are people who never seem to make the jump from instant messaging to a real-life date, putting it off out of fear.

On the other side of things, there are some who go from date to date like it's their favorite pastime. But while this might look like they're having the times of their lives, it may not be all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, according to this expert, they might be suffering from the effects of 'overdating'.

Mel Schilling is a psychologist and consultant for the dating website eHarmony, in addition to the dating show Married At First Sight. Speaking to 9Honey, she explained that the rise of dating apps could be dangerous to your love life if you don't handle it right:

"Disposable dating can be very confusing, and in fact, can close you off to opportunities for longer-term relationships.

"If you're putting your energy into lots of short-term encounters, you may not actually see that fabulous person who's on the treadmill next to you at the gym, or the cute guy in the next cubicle at work.

"It's about making the space for a new relationship, and when you're totally focused on [a dating] app, you may not see them."

She then goes on to explain that 'overdating' isn't just about our search for the perfect partner, but can be a way to avoid other problems in our lives.

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"I find that sometimes people who are 'overdating' are trying to hide from something ... it can be a great distraction from everyday life," she continued. "So maybe if you notice yourself doing this, take a little time out, reflect, and really think about what it is you want."

Despite the fact that these problems can surface when you use dating apps, there are definitely some positives. Schilling described that while dating this way may not get you the person of your dreams, it is a great way to get to know yourself.

"It's good news if you're wanting to get a handle on what it is you like and don't like in potential dates, and how you behave in relation to different people," Mel said. "Treat it like a social experiment and start to build a really clear list of what it is you're looking for."

'Overdating' may not be a problem you suffer from, but we all will have known someone who does this. So next time you see a friend go out for their 5th date that week, it might be the case that they're trying to hide from something.

Dating is a pain in the butt. There's always so much anxiety over whether you're being too involved (or not enough), whether you actually feel something for the person (or if you're just heavily invested in getting your rocks off), and - in more recent years - whether you're falling victim to some newfangled dating trend such as ghosting, phubbing, or breadcrumbing.

But what exactly is 'breadcrumbing'? Well, according to Jessica Bennett of the New York Times:

"Breadcrumbers check in consistently with a romantic prospect, but never set up a date. They pique your interest, of that prospective job, perhaps, by reminding you repeatedly that it exists, but never set up the interview.

"Breadcrumbers are one step shy of ghosters, who disappear without a trace, but are in more frequent contact than a person giving you the fade. On the hierarchy of digital communication, the breadcrumber is the lowest form."

Basically, they set up an enticing-looking trail for you to follow, but leave nothing at the end of it - and here's how you can spot it before it gets the better of you:

1. They communicate infrequently

Not everyone in the early dating phase enjoys texting constantly, but if your new love interest can only message you every few days with a vague "hey", the chances are that they aren't entirely invested in pursuing something serious.

2. You're always the one to make plans

Think back to your last few dates: who organised them? Who arranged the time and date? Who picked the restaurant/movie? Who suggested meeting up in the first place? If you're doing all the legwork, you may want to take a step back and analyse exactly how much your new beau is actually contributing to this whole dating situation.

3. Meanwhile, they only want to hook up

Ok, say they do make plans... but they're only ever to hook up. This isn't a sign of someone who wants a proper relationship; it's an indication that you are there to satisfy a need and not much more. And if you're cool with that, then there's no issue. However, if you're looking for something serious, you may need to reconsider the set-up you'be got going on.

4. They 'don't like labels'

There should never be any pressure to put a label on a relationship, especially if it's still in the very early stages. However, if you've been plodding along for the best part of a year and you're still not sure where you stand, you probably should have a little discussion about it.

5. You don't know how they feel

Have they ever expressed any emotion about your situationship? Do you know whether they 'like' like you, or even if they care? This shouldn't be such a difficult thing to work out, but, if you feel like it is, then there's a chance you're being breadcrumbed.

If any of these signs seem to fit your relationship, do yourself a favour and follow that trail of breadcrumbs right back to where you started: away from them.