Birthdays are great, aren't they? Just kidding: they're terrible.
Not only do you have to sift through the hundreds of insincere Facebook messages from those random people you met once in 2014, but you've also got to contend with people singing happy birthday at you, which is a form of torture all in its own. Oh: don't forget the crushing existential dread that comes with another intrepid step towards the grave.
There's also cake.
Half birthdays, on the other hand, are kind of underrated. Especially if you're at either end of the spectrum between introspective self-awareness or fun-loving, rabid party animal. A half birthday acts as half-time for the intense football match that is a particular year of life; you can recover after a tough first half, celebrate a really good one, or tweak tactics that might help to tip a tight contest in your favour.
But enough of the sports metaphors: this is a Kardashian article, for Pete's sake.
More importantly, it's a baby Kardashian article. Even as her philandering baby daddy continues to cast a shadow over her life, True Thompson remains a penetrating beam of sunshine in Khloé Kardashian's life. Can you believe she's already six months old?!
It feels like just yesterday that we were talking about Khloé's pregnancy diet and booing Tristan Thompson at his various basketball games. How time flies. Anyway, as it was True's very first six months of life, Khloé thought it would be a great idea to throw her baby daughter a party.
Her little mushy brain may not be able to fully process what's going on, but I'm sure in years gone by, True will be able to look back on the times she had back then, and fully appreciate just how much her mom loves her. Which, I assure you, is a heck of a lot. You don't even need a lavish cupcake party to see that, but hey: we got one anyway.
Feast your eyes upon it, Kardashian fans. Upon looking upon all the Kardashian babies at once, surrounded by delicious-looking desserts, I'm finding it really difficult not to burst into tears. It's almost too adorable. I don't know if I can handle it. Khloé Kardashian must have been having a great time holding the camera.
In that amalgamation of all that is pure in the world, here we have, alongside the half-birthday gal; Kylie Jenner's eight-month-old daughter Stormi Webster, Rob Kardashian's almost two-year-old daughter Dream Kardashian, Kim Kardashian's nine-month-old daughter Chicago West, plus Kim's nearly three-year-old son Saint West.
Around them, pink cupcakes galore.
"Keeping Up With the Kousins," captions Khloé, but she missed a trick by not carrying on the vernacular when she said: "Cousin Cupcake Party!!!" I kind of want to chastise Khloé for that (it's right there), but there's just too much cute and I don't think she was concentrating too hard.
Happy half-birthday, True!