Jennette McCurdy has revealed that she is still "healing" from the physical and emotional abuse she says she was subjected to by her own mother.
Last week, the iCarly star, 29, spoke to People magazine about her one-woman theater production, I'm Glad My Mom Died.
"It's thought-provoking," she told the magazine in this week's issue of the show, which explores the "intense" physical and emotional abuse she experienced from her mother, Debbie, who died of cancer back in 2013.
McCurdy adds: "But even though it may seem black and white, there's a fullness to my narrative. Life can be dark — and messy. Nobody has a perfect life."
McCurdy, who will also delve into the difficult story in an upcoming autobiography, said: "My earliest memories of childhood were of heaviness and chaos."
She recalled: "My mom's emotions were so erratic that it was like walking a tightrope every day. The mood fluctuations were daily."
When she was younger, McCurdy says she saw physical altercations between her mom and dad and said that her mother's emotional outbursts would often turn violent.
When she was six, McCurdy's mother focused her attention on her only daughter.
"My mom had always dreamt of being a famous actor and she became obsessed with making me a star," says McCurdy.
And although McCurdy was "cripplingly shy," she was sent to auditions and began working in show business. "I felt like my job was to keep the peace," she says. "And I wanted to make my mom happy."
Shockingly, McCurdy said that until the age of 17, Debbie would insist on performing vaginal and breast exams on her and would never allow her - even as a teen - to shower alone.
"I know if my mom were alive, I'd still have an eating disorder," says McCurdy, who managed to recover in 2018 as a result of therapy. "It was only distance from her that allowed me to get healthy."
McCurdy says she was also "so repressed and delayed developmentally" due to the control her mom had over her.
"It's a risk to change your life, but I made it my mission," says McCurdy.