Michael J. Fox has recently exposed the heartbreaking details of his Parkinson's Disease stating that he's constantly in "intense pain."
In a new Apple TV+ documentary titled Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie, the 61-year-old actor opened up about the struggles of his diagnosis as well as his battle with addiction which served as a coping mechanism in his early years.
While recalling memories of him on set, he said that he made sure he was stocked up on dopamine pills in order to contain the early symptoms of the illness.
"Therapeutic value, comfort – none of these were the reason I took these pills. There was only one reason: to hide," Fox says in the documentary, as per USA Today. "I became a virtuoso of manipulating drug intake so that I'd peak at exactly the right time and place."
Fox was initially diagnosed with Parkinson's back in 1991 but kept it hidden from the world for seven years while he silently battled the disease. But when the doctors told him that there was no way to cure it, he turned to other methods of coping.
"I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know what was coming. So what if I could just have four glasses of wine and maybe a shot?" Fox says. "I was definitely an alcoholic. But I've gone 30 years without having a drink."
Though the actor managed to overcome his demons, it wasn't an easy journey.
"As low as alcohol had brought me, abstinence would bring me lower. I could no longer escape myself," he says before adding that traveling made it easier to cope with.
"You can't pretend at home that you don't have Parkinson's because you're just there with it. If I'm out in the world, I'm dealing with other people and they don't know I have it."
The actor also credits his wife Tracy Pollan as well as his four children as his motivation to get sober. But while he focused on that, the disease continued to ravage his body, making things more difficult for him.
"To me, the worst thing is restraint," Fox explained. "The worst thing is to be confined and to not be able to have a way out... There are times when I went, 'There's no way out of this.'"
In the documentary, which is directed by by Oscar-winning filmmaker Davis Guggenheim, the 61-year-old also delves deeper into what it's like living day-to-day with the disease, revealing that the pain is difficult to endure.
"I'm in intense pain," Fox says, also adding that sometimes he loses his balance or hurts himself. "People around me are going, 'Be careful, be careful. And I'm like, 'This has nothing to do with being careful. This happens.'"
However, Fox isn't living without hope.
After starting the Michael J. Fox Foundation in 2000, the Back to the Future alum has been an avid supporter of research into Parkinson's.
According to his official website, the charity aims to bring about "action — no matter how big or small — to help advance research towards the pursuit of a cure."
"Some people would view the news of my disease as an ending," Fox says in the documentary. "But I was starting to sense it was really a beginning."
Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie will be released later this year.