Music these days ain't what it used to be.
And I'm not saying that just to seem like a grumpy old woman or a late-to-the-party hipster; music is changing all the time. The songs I listened to as a kid are worlds apart from the tunes that are currently blaring in my office, and the kinds of things my parents used to jam along to are even further removed from both those genres.
However, while some things continue to shift and blend as music progresses, others seem to stay the same. Take the lyrics, for example. Even after all these decades of producing hit songs for millions to enjoy, it appears that some artists still can't string together a coherent verse - and you've probably been singing along to them without noticing...
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away"I'm a low brow but I rock a little know how/ No time for the piggies or the hoosegow/ Get smart get down with the pow wow/ Never been a better time than right now"
"With the plastic eyeballs/ Spray-paint the vegetables/ Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose"
"Flamenco, Lambada / But hip hop is harder / We moonwalk the foxtrot / Then polka the salsa"
"MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark/ All the sweet, green icing flowing down/ Someone left the cake out in the rain/ I don't think that I can take it/ 'Cause it took so long to bake it/ And I'll never have that recipe again"
"Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof"
"Now I'm FourFiveSeconds from wildin'/ And we got three more days 'til Friday/ I'm just tryna make it back home by Monday mornin'/ I swear I wish somebody would tell me/ Ooh, that's all I want"
"This hit, that ice cold/ Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold"
"Lickety split/ A girl and a bear/ She crawls in a pit/ Say hello darling"
"Cause you were Romeo / I was a scarlet letter / And my daddy said stay away from Juliet."
"My sign is vital, my hands are cold/ And I'm on my knees looking for the answer/ Are we human or are we dancer?"
"Lights will guide you home/ and ignite your bones"
"Me not working hard? / Yea, right! / Picture that with a Kodak / And, better yet, go to Times Square / Take a picture of me with a Kodak"
"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time"
"And I know you love Shrek / Because we've watched it 12 times"
"Someday I'll find a love like yours (a love like yours)/ She'll think I'm Superman/ Not super minivan/ How could you leave on Yom Kippur?"
"The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? / Cause I've been tryna work it out"
It just goes to show that, to write a hit song, you don't really need to be a lyrical genius. As long as you've got a good beat, a catchy hook, and a decent voice, you could make millions off of "Take a picture of me with a Kodak" and we'll all keep on singing along just the same.
