Everyone remembers their first FIFA apology. There’s nothing worse when you’re trying to impress a new crowd with your Playstation prowess than being ritually humiliated by someone who has spent their whole weekend pummelling 12-year-olds online. Some people say that the world loves an underdog. These people have clearly never been in the same room when there’s the prospect of a five-nil thrashing. As soon as blood is in the water, the crowd rapidly turns from sympathetic, to rabid. It’s horrible.
Anyone familiar with the apology code knows that it is a progressive scale. Punishments can range from a formally worded mea culpa, to having to do your rival’s bidding for 24 hours. It’s a system that can be as savage as it is hilarious for anyone not involved. However, those looking to humiliate their opponents even further than was previously possible now have an ally, in the form of a particularly embarrassing T-shirt.
Players who have unfortunately suffered the indignity of multiple Fifa defeats can now receive a fashionable monument to their ineptitude in the form of an unflattering, “I’M SH*T AT FIFA” shirt, courtesy of novelty accessory specialists Redbubble.
As the official product description states, “We all know an player who sucks at playing FIFA... show your love for him / her [sic.].” Available in six different sizes, and currently retailing for around $18, it’s the ultimate gift for anyone whose inability on the virtual football pitch deserves to be broadcast to the world.
The new product is all the more auspicious, given that the latest iteration of EA Sports’ popular football franchise is set to hit stores today. FIFA20 is set to retail for around $60 in the US, and £50 in the UK. Given this outlay, an extra $18 dollars on a funny shirt could seem more and more worth it, just to see the expression on your opponent’s face.