27-Year-old man arrested after he was caught 'rubbing his buttocks' on the produce

27-Year-old man arrested after he was caught 'rubbing his buttocks' on the produce

I've never had a retail job, but based on what I know about working directly with people in various movies, TV shows and videos from Food Envy articles, it's something I really wouldn't like to do too often. Long hours, minimum wage, lots of ignorant or belligerent people to smile and wave away; it sounds like my worst nightmare.

For all those out there working in the retail industry, I feel for you. I really do. I'd imagine that throughout your very busy shift, you'd have to deal with all kinds of people. Children having tantrums. People arguing or trying to steal groceries. A guy rubbing his bare butt all over the produce - wait, what? That can't be right.


Yes - a 27-year-old man was taken into police custody this week after he was caught with his pants down - literally - in the produce section. Who knows why Michael Dwayne Johnson was in the produce section of a grocery store in Virginia, introducing the items there to his bare buttock or buttocks.

All we know is that somebody at the store reported him for the sheer cheek (sorry) of his behaviour, and was duly arrested for his actions. Weird, right? Surely he knew he was going to be made the butt (sorry again) of so many jokes?But what would prompt an otherwise sane-seeming man to make such an ass (okay, fine, I'm not sorry) of himself?

Working at the police dispatch for Manassas City Police Department, I doubt anybody there would have been expecting to receive the call that they did about the incident occurring at a Giant Food grocery store. But when they say the police have to protect and serve, this obviously applies to the produce as well, so on their way went law enforcement.

They had been tipped off by a loss prevention employee at Giant Food, who noticed Johnson in the middle of his... deeds, who did what you or I would do if we found some guy rubbing his butt on some fruit and vegetables - and called the cops. The employee said that Johnson pulled down his pants, and rubbed his buttocks on the produce, grabbing each individual bit of produce, rubbing it where the sun don't shine, and putting it back on the shelf.

After Johnson was arrested, WJLA reported that several pallets of produce had to be destroyed in fear of contamination, while a spokesman from the Manassas City Police Department refused to disclose to the public which produce had been affected.

For his part in the debacle, Johnson is protesting his innocence - claiming that this was all in part of an elaborate prank for a YouTube video, and that his buttocks had touched no item from the produce section! Either way, since Giant were forced to destroy the produce, Johnson's been charged with destruction of property, as well as indecent exposure.

He's due to appear in court in November, when he hopes to convince a judge that it was all one big misunderstanding.