Weddings are a wonderful time for families to come to together and celebrate love.
However, what happens when a clash of lifestyles threatens to overshadow the joyous occasion?
One concerned mother, grappling with this dilemma, reached out for advice on handling her unconventional niece's presence at her son's upcoming nuptials.
Writing to the New York Post's 'Dear Abby' column, the concerned mom writes: "I have a 25-year-old niece, 'Meadow', who embraces the hippie lifestyle. She’s kind and sweet and loves everyone."
The groom's mom then goes on to describe Meadow's appearance, saying she's "heavily tattooed and has several facial piercings and thick underarm hair".
"My son is the complete opposite," she writes. "He is in the business world and is very professional in his manner and dress."
With the wedding just three months away, the groom's mother worries that Meadow's appearance could steal the spotlight from the bride and create unnecessary disruptions. "My son is nervous about her coming to the wedding," she confesses. "He doesn’t know Meadow that well... They were close as kids but haven’t seen much of each other in adulthood."
The mother of the groom is also concerned that "disruptions" may be caused if she needed to jump in and "defend" Meadow from any awkward questions about her lifestyle.
She concludes her letter by asking: "None of us are close to Meadow or feel comfortable with her appearance. How do we handle her presence at the wedding?"
Well, in response to this "Big Yikes" family matter, advice columnist Abby started by asking: "Who invited this counter-culture cousin to the wedding?" -- Stressing that the time to have addressed these concerns was long before the invitations were actually sent out.
While acknowledging the discomfort Meadow's appearance may cause, fortunately, Abby writes that unnviting her would be "terrible". Instead, the columnist advises managing expectations and addressing any potential comments about Meadow's appearance with grace and honesty.
"If someone comments on her appearance, I’m sure it won’t be the first time she has heard it," the columnist advises. "Simply explain calmly that Meadow is there because she’s family."
(Although, I'd argue that the response loses some credibility when - instead of just accepting Meadow for who she is - Abby suggests that she is seated at a distance from the altar to prevent any unintentional upstaging of the bride. Yeeesh.)
Ultimately, the letter serves as a reminder that weddings are about celebrating love and inclusivity, even when it means embracing differences within the family.
Every wedding as family members there who you'd going to have differences with - but that's really not what the big day is all about.
.jpg_ePaNgJ?tr=h-40&config=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)
.png_Mb7oS8?tr=h-40&config=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)
.jpg_ePaNgJ?tr=h-184&config=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)
.png_Mb7oS8?tr=h-184&config=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)
