Joel Whitwell tells VT he was once described as the "ugliest person in the world" by a complete stranger.

The 42-year-old, from Harvey, Western Australia, has a craniofacial deficiency – a disfigurement that occurs in infancy when the bones of the face fuse together too quickly or in an abnormal way. For Joel, this meant he was born with half a face; just one eye and one ear.

When he was ten-years-old, Joel had surgery which involved removing a rib to reconstruct his face. Then, in 1999, he had another facial reconstructive procedure using muscle from his back. Both operations were incredibly painful and left him needing to be fed via a syringe.

But despite what he's been through, Joel describes himself as "one of the lucky ones".

'One of the boys'

Joel was raised in a small Australian town, where most of the locals knew each other. He spent his childhood surrounded by supportive friends and family and during his adolescent years, he was very much "one of the boys".

In fact, during his teenage years, he tells me his craniofacial deficiency became something of a novelty. Laughing, Joel recalls a time when, after one too many drinks at a party, he once lost his prosthetic ear, and to the hilarity of everyone else, an attendee returned it a few days later.

However, during our interview, he's quick to acknowledge this certainly isn't the experience for every person born with a physical difference. As he points out, many are often bullied at school.

"I could have really been bullied," Joel admits, adding that while people sometimes stared, he didn't encounter any real problems.

Unfortunately though, that changed later on in life.

The party

"I was about 19, and I went to a party," Joel tells VT. "There was a guy there. He was pretty drunk and just took one look at me and said I must be the ugliest person he'd ever seen. I thought 'wow'. That stung pretty deep."

Joel says that he decided to leave pretty much straight after. It was his first experience of discrimination because of his appearance and the hurtful words left him in a dark place.

But despite the toll those hateful words had on his self-esteem, Joel insists he never lets himself hold onto negativity.

"You know, if I were to see that guy again and he was remorseful, I'd forgive him," Joel says. "It's important not to hold onto things like that. It only hurts yourself."

In fact, Joel believes that the stranger may "have even been a nice guy" were he not so intoxicated.

Looking back at that night isn't easy of course. However, the incident was the first of many that inspired Joel to work on his self-esteem, develop a thicker skin and prioritise his mental health.

Credit: Facebook

The heartache that changed everything

Some years after that party, Joel was left grief-stricken when his close friend Paul tragically died in a car crash at the age of 21. This triggered the start of a difficult battle with anxiety and depression.

Before Paul's death, the pair had been planning to travel the world together. Although it was a concept that excited Joel, part of him was nervous to leave the security of his hometown. In fact, he secretly never thought he'd really leave. And the thought of doing so alone was terrifying.

However, after getting help and support to deal with with anxiety and depression, Joel found that his outlook began to change.

"For Paul's memory, I thought, I've got to give it a go," he says, which cemented his decisions to face his fears and travel the world alone.

Credit: Facebook

Joel admits that he did worry about how people outside his hometown would react to his appearance, but he says that those concerns were quickly proven to be unfounded.

While Joel admits people do sometimes stare when he goes to a new place, he makes a point of striking up conversations regardless and making new friends where possible.

He tells VT that locals in Peru in particular were some of the most welcoming – and perhaps the most accepting people he's ever met. "In Peru, in their culture, they look to the heart and soul of a person," he says, rather than their appearance. "Just seeing me in the street, they would smile.

Reflecting on his mental health battle, Joel admits that he still does experience symptoms of anxiety – such as catastrophic overthinking. But now, he has the knowledge and experience to spot and recognise those signs. When those symptoms do come on, he knows how to manage them, for example, going for a walk and being around people.

"If I was to lock myself away in a room, [my struggles] would just fester," he adds. "Putting myself out there helps."

Credit: Joel Whitwell / Supplied

Love and marriage

Travelling the world has not only improved Joel's self-esteem and mental health, but it's also helped build his confidence when it comes to talking to women – an accomplishment he's pretty proud of.

"A lot of people out there just can't communicate with the opposite sex," he explains. "I think it's good that I can connect in that way, and if it leads to something... "

To date, Joel has never been in a relationship, which he says has been "quite hard" at times. He admits that not having a "special someone" in his life has made him feel occasionally down But this hasn't damped his hopes of finding love.

"You think that's what you're meant to do, get married have kids," he tells VT. "But I've realized that everyone's journey is different. And I'm going to keep putting myself out there."

For now though, Joel is more than content with "having a good time with his mates".

Credit: Joel Whitwell / Supplied

The power of friendship

One of the things that stands out during our interview is how Joel's incredible friendships have helped him through the most difficult periods in his life. When people do stop and stare at his appearance, he stresses that having a good friend nearby is invaluable.

Joel's friends aren't just a source of comfort to him – they are huge pillars of strength and inspiration. In fact, it was his good pal Johnno that motivated him to write his very own book.

"We were sitting in a park in Scotland, just talking about some of the funny things that have happened and about my life, and he says, 'I think you should write this down," Joel reveals. "'I reckon the world needs to hear this.'"

Joel then went on to write a book about living with half a face, 'One Ear, One Eye – No Worries'.

"I believe that what I've been through could be inspirational," he says, "and I think it's made a good book."

'One Ear, One Eye - No Worries' is described as a story of resilience, and after our chat with Joel, we have to agree.

As Joel admitted at the start of our interview, "I'm one of the lucky ones. There are a lot of people out there with disfigurements who probably hide from the world. But not me."

'One Eye, One Ear - No worries' is available for purchase on Amazon.

Featured image credit: Alamy / Ammentorp Photography

Joel Whitwell tells VT he was once described as the "ugliest person in the world" by a complete stranger.

The 42-year-old, from Harvey, Western Australia, has a craniofacial deficiency – a disfigurement that occurs in infancy when the bones of the face fuse together too quickly or in an abnormal way. For Joel, this meant he was born with half a face; just one eye and one ear.

When he was ten-years-old, Joel had surgery which involved removing a rib to reconstruct his face. Then, in 1999, he had another facial reconstructive procedure using muscle from his back. Both operations were incredibly painful and left him needing to be fed via a syringe.

But despite what he's been through, Joel describes himself as "one of the lucky ones".

'One of the boys'

Joel was raised in a small Australian town, where most of the locals knew each other. He spent his childhood surrounded by supportive friends and family and during his adolescent years, he was very much "one of the boys".

In fact, during his teenage years, he tells me his craniofacial deficiency became something of a novelty. Laughing, Joel recalls a time when, after one too many drinks at a party, he once lost his prosthetic ear, and to the hilarity of everyone else, an attendee returned it a few days later.

However, during our interview, he's quick to acknowledge this certainly isn't the experience for every person born with a physical difference. As he points out, many are often bullied at school.

"I could have really been bullied," Joel admits, adding that while people sometimes stared, he didn't encounter any real problems.

Unfortunately though, that changed later on in life.

The party

"I was about 19, and I went to a party," Joel tells VT. "There was a guy there. He was pretty drunk and just took one look at me and said I must be the ugliest person he'd ever seen. I thought 'wow'. That stung pretty deep."

Joel says that he decided to leave pretty much straight after. It was his first experience of discrimination because of his appearance and the hurtful words left him in a dark place.

But despite the toll those hateful words had on his self-esteem, Joel insists he never lets himself hold onto negativity.

"You know, if I were to see that guy again and he was remorseful, I'd forgive him," Joel says. "It's important not to hold onto things like that. It only hurts yourself."

In fact, Joel believes that the stranger may "have even been a nice guy" were he not so intoxicated.

Looking back at that night isn't easy of course. However, the incident was the first of many that inspired Joel to work on his self-esteem, develop a thicker skin and prioritise his mental health.

Credit: Facebook

The heartache that changed everything

Some years after that party, Joel was left grief-stricken when his close friend Paul tragically died in a car crash at the age of 21. This triggered the start of a difficult battle with anxiety and depression.

Before Paul's death, the pair had been planning to travel the world together. Although it was a concept that excited Joel, part of him was nervous to leave the security of his hometown. In fact, he secretly never thought he'd really leave. And the thought of doing so alone was terrifying.

However, after getting help and support to deal with with anxiety and depression, Joel found that his outlook began to change.

"For Paul's memory, I thought, I've got to give it a go," he says, which cemented his decisions to face his fears and travel the world alone.

Credit: Facebook

Joel admits that he did worry about how people outside his hometown would react to his appearance, but he says that those concerns were quickly proven to be unfounded.

While Joel admits people do sometimes stare when he goes to a new place, he makes a point of striking up conversations regardless and making new friends where possible.

He tells VT that locals in Peru in particular were some of the most welcoming – and perhaps the most accepting people he's ever met. "In Peru, in their culture, they look to the heart and soul of a person," he says, rather than their appearance. "Just seeing me in the street, they would smile.

Reflecting on his mental health battle, Joel admits that he still does experience symptoms of anxiety – such as catastrophic overthinking. But now, he has the knowledge and experience to spot and recognise those signs. When those symptoms do come on, he knows how to manage them, for example, going for a walk and being around people.

"If I was to lock myself away in a room, [my struggles] would just fester," he adds. "Putting myself out there helps."

Credit: Joel Whitwell / Supplied

Love and marriage

Travelling the world has not only improved Joel's self-esteem and mental health, but it's also helped build his confidence when it comes to talking to women – an accomplishment he's pretty proud of.

"A lot of people out there just can't communicate with the opposite sex," he explains. "I think it's good that I can connect in that way, and if it leads to something... "

To date, Joel has never been in a relationship, which he says has been "quite hard" at times. He admits that not having a "special someone" in his life has made him feel occasionally down But this hasn't damped his hopes of finding love.

"You think that's what you're meant to do, get married have kids," he tells VT. "But I've realized that everyone's journey is different. And I'm going to keep putting myself out there."

For now though, Joel is more than content with "having a good time with his mates".

Credit: Joel Whitwell / Supplied

The power of friendship

One of the things that stands out during our interview is how Joel's incredible friendships have helped him through the most difficult periods in his life. When people do stop and stare at his appearance, he stresses that having a good friend nearby is invaluable.

Joel's friends aren't just a source of comfort to him – they are huge pillars of strength and inspiration. In fact, it was his good pal Johnno that motivated him to write his very own book.

"We were sitting in a park in Scotland, just talking about some of the funny things that have happened and about my life, and he says, 'I think you should write this down," Joel reveals. "'I reckon the world needs to hear this.'"

Joel then went on to write a book about living with half a face, 'One Ear, One Eye – No Worries'.

"I believe that what I've been through could be inspirational," he says, "and I think it's made a good book."

'One Ear, One Eye - No Worries' is described as a story of resilience, and after our chat with Joel, we have to agree.

As Joel admitted at the start of our interview, "I'm one of the lucky ones. There are a lot of people out there with disfigurements who probably hide from the world. But not me."

'One Eye, One Ear - No worries' is available for purchase on Amazon.

Featured image credit: Alamy / Ammentorp Photography