10 People reveal their best advice for getting over a breakup
Out of all the things that we have to go through in this thing called life, breakups are up there with the worst. In the beginning, it always feels as if you'll never get over the person whose quirks you grew to appreciate, and whose complex past you got to know as well as your own - regardless of how many people tell you to the contrary by conflating their experiences and their exes to your situation.
Ultimately, however, we do know that it will get better. But in the meantime, if you're really struggling, here are 10 people from Reddit revealing their tried and true methods for coping with heartache.
"It's easy to fall down that slippery slope of thoughts; thoughts like 'We were meant to be together,' 'S/he was perfect,' 'If they knew how much I care about them,' 'We could make this work if s/he would give me another chance.' These thoughts are natural, but they're not necessarily true. Odds are good the other person had a good reason to break up with you--even if they didn't tell you what it is. Or, if they did and you think it wasn't a good reason, well, it must have been to them.
"You may never know or understand the reason. For me, this was the hardest part. You have to accept that answers may never come."
"First, disconnect yourself from your ex, meaning delete him/her from all social media and whatnot. Seeing his/her name will make it harder for you to get over it, it'll just bring the feeling back and all."
"Occupy your mind. Go out with friends, pick up a new hobby, volunteer somewhere. Literally do anything you can to keep yourself from thinking about "the good times". When you sit and dwell, you'll only be saddened. But when you don't have the time to think about what has passed, you'll find yourself able to be stronger on your own."
"When I took up running after a break up it did a lot of things for me. I started to lose weight which helped me rebuild my self esteem. It gave me a goal to work towards (my first 5K). That in turn gave me something positive that I could talk to other people about. The endorphins definitely helped. It ultimately gave me something new that I could do independently, that was just me, and made being by myself more comfortable."
"Lastly, don't fall into the trap of believing that this person is somehow special, unique, or the only person who can do X for you. There are a lot of fish in the sea, and even if you aren't interested in anyone else at the moment, it's good to keep in mind that there's someone out there right now who could make you happy - rather than this old person who is making you sad."
"Change the background screen on your phone. You've probably come to associate seeing that with texts from them when they come. But this subtle change can help eliminate small triggers."
"Personally? BEER. Get a buddy, get some beer, buy yourself a life sized teddy bear, hug it out.
"Remember the good times. This isn't you losing something, this is you getting to have happy memories with someone and then find someone else even better. And you know those bad memories? They'll make the next good ones even more awesome. Happiness is funny like that. If you were always happy, it wouldn't feel good. These sad moments will make the person you end up with SO much sweeter. Value them!"
"I turned on every bit of stand up and comedy Netflix had. For a while that's all I did because how can you be sad if you're constantly laughing? Not just a little chuckle but that deep stomach laugh that gives you hiccups and you're a bit dizzy afterwards. I had to keep laughing because it kept me from crying and eventually it worked."
"Don't hate [them] for what happened (except when [they] did something wrong/was the cause) I did that for a while and it made my mental state even worse than it already was."
"Whatever you do, DO NOT play the ex yoyo. It took an additional 9 months after my ex broke up with me for us to finally not be seeing each other. It's been 4 years and I'm still single, but that's my own fault. Point is, make a clean, clear cut. Don't start bouncing in and out if each other's lives. It hurts more at the time, but trust me, it makes a world of difference once you start hitting the 3-6 month mark."
Well, there you have it. While it feels as if you will feel this way forever, you can rest easy knowing that many people before you have experienced the pain of a particularly brutal breakup. And if they can get over it, you can too.