Sex, on the whole, is a confusing and perplexing landscape that can be both amazing and embarrassing in equal measure. Of course, it's meant to be enjoyed, but, sometimes, it can be the opposite. The internet is awash with sex horror shows and stories and, luckily for you, I've scoured the depths of Reddit to find some of the best.
So, sit back, relax, and prepare to cringe.
1. That's gotta hurt"I was really really drunk and tried to slap her ass and punched myself in the nuts"
2. They probably heard but chose to ignore it"I tried to dismount from his face and fell off the bed into my side table. While my parents were asleep. I ended up with a giant bruise on one of my knees. Thankfully neither of my parents decided to investigate the loud crashing."
3. This sounds more like a horror movie"I got a nosebleed while riding a guy and didn't notice... And then I sneezed huge amounts of blood all over him. Then I almost passed out and fell off his dick. He cried and tried to take me to the hospital."
4. That must've been a nice catch-up"Wife literally butt dialled her mom. We now have a no phones in bed rule."
5. Is this some new form of foreplay"While having sex my freshman year of college on those terribly small beds i tossed her onto my bed and she hit her head on the window sill. Which ended up cutting the back of her head open, which of course caused her head to start bleeding profusely all over my bed and then had to take her to the campus hospital to get stitches. She ended up telling her parents she was jumping on her bed and hit her head on the ceiling."
6. They do say that sex has a smell"Came so hard I farted. We didn't acknowledge it but he had to notice."
7. Man's best friend"Was getting ready for sex, doing the usual in the bathroom, wife was on the bed waiting. I come out ready to get busy and I climb on and start going to down, shortly after my dog hops on the bed and begins investigating and also tries to mount me/my wife. "
8. Wow"so we're goin at it one day...i'm on top...she starts saying 'spit on me...spit on me'....now due to the way things had gone i'm thinking she...well....okay - I spat in her face. smdh. she meant she was a little dry downstairs and wanted some lubrication...not to have someone spit in her face. I coulda died tbh. thankfully she saw the funny side of it."
9. That must have been an interesting commute"Getting down to it with a girl, all is going well she starts going down on me, then I realise I’m watching porn through my VR headset and I’m still on the bus to work."
10. The worst"Called my husband at the time my ex’s name. I felt so bad :/"
While you may want to think that sex will always be perfect, it isn't. So, if you think you're alone with your horror stories - you're not. It happens to us all.