There's a term being used to describe a certain type of romance which is not technically a 'relationship' - but a 'situationship'. It's the first time I've ever heard the term, but it's been growing in usage lately, especially after one woman wrote an article on her own three-year situationship.
For those that don't know, this means you and another person are involved in something akin to a relationship, without officially being a couple. Raeven wrote the post for XO Necole, titled Why I'm No Longer Letting People Tell Me Situationships Are Bad - and her opinion has led to a furious debate online about these kinds of relationships.
After ending a relationship in which she was unhappy, she got back in touch with an old friend - and they eventually got together. They don't live close to one another, so only get to see each other once or twice a month, but Raeven says she is more than happy with the arrangement. She wrote:
"A situationship is basically you and another person doing couple things without being an official couple. It's a concept that is celebrated amongst men and hated amongst women. I used to hate it too... Until I got in one.
"Dating society has placed this stigma on women especially, that if you and a potential partner aren't mutually exclusive after dating for four to six months, then your time is being wasted and you should move on to the next. Society frowns upon situationships because usually for the woman, she gets nothing in return."
For Raeven, this simply isn't the case. She may not know with absolute certainty that she will stay in the situationship for good, but it's working out pretty well so far. However, once the article spread across Twitter, many came forward to dispute her ideas.
"I really wish people would stop using this word," life coach Imani Yvonne tweeted. "It doesn't mean anything but I'm letting someone cross my own boundaries with no accountability while still allowing them premium access to my time & body."
She then went on to dive deep into what she thought of Raeven's stance, claiming that "men don't respect these types of relationships". For Yvonne, this ends up shortchanging women, and the term is simply a way for them to "legitimize abuse of their own boundaries".
Others came forward to put forward the idea that these types of relationships are merely for men to claim benefits without the need to commit.
Others then joined in to criticise the article:
Raeven may have not been expecting such a negative response, but she did receive some more positive feedback from other Twitter users.
Relationships can be pretty complex when it comes to establishing boundaries and labels - so as long as Raeven feels fulfilled and is treated well in the relationship, it should be okay. Whether or not that's true is up for debate.
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