There's a term being used to describe a certain type of romance which is not technically a 'relationship' - but a 'situationship'. It's the first time I've ever heard the term, but it's been growing in usage lately, especially after one woman wrote an article on her own three-year situationship.
For those that don't know, this means you and another person are involved in something akin to a relationship, without officially being a couple. Raeven wrote the post for XO Necole, titled Why I'm No Longer Letting People Tell Me Situationships Are Bad - and her opinion has led to a furious debate online about these kinds of relationships.
After ending a relationship in which she was unhappy, she got back in touch with an old friend - and they eventually got together. They don't live close to one another, so only get to see each other once or twice a month, but Raeven says she is more than happy with the arrangement. She wrote:
"A situationship is basically you and another person doing couple things without being an official couple. It's a concept that is celebrated amongst men and hated amongst women. I used to hate it too... Until I got in one.
"Dating society has placed this stigma on women especially, that if you and a potential partner aren't mutually exclusive after dating for four to six months, then your time is being wasted and you should move on to the next. Society frowns upon situationships because usually for the woman, she gets nothing in return."
For Raeven, this simply isn't the case. She may not know with absolute certainty that she will stay in the situationship for good, but it's working out pretty well so far. However, once the article spread across Twitter, many came forward to dispute her ideas.
"I really wish people would stop using this word," life coach Imani Yvonne tweeted. "It doesn't mean anything but I'm letting someone cross my own boundaries with no accountability while still allowing them premium access to my time & body."
She then went on to dive deep into what she thought of Raeven's stance, claiming that "men don't respect these types of relationships". For Yvonne, this ends up shortchanging women, and the term is simply a way for them to "legitimize abuse of their own boundaries".
Relationships can be pretty complex when it comes to establishing boundaries and labels - so as long as Raeven feels fulfilled and is treated well in the relationship, it should be okay. Whether or not that's true is up for debate.
People are only just realizing what "breadcrumbing" is.
Over the past decade or so, we've seen how relationships have expanded to include different stages of the process - from the talking stage to the "situationship" (God help you if you're experiencing one of those) all the way to dating and eventually, if you manage to survive all that, marriage.
While you might have thought that we'd have a better grasp on navigating all these stages by now, new things keep getting thrown into the mix, including concepts like "breadcrumbing."
And it seems as though a lot of people did not even know that something like this could exist.
People are just finding out that 'Breadcrumbing ' actually exists in relationships. Credit: VioletaStoimenova/Getty
"Are you guys aware there’s a thing called 'Bread [crumbing]?'" wrote one person on X, while another stated "what does breadcrumbing mean?" and after doing their own research followed up with another tweet that read: "Oh I looked it up, we shouldn’t be doing this to anyone. Messed up."
For those of you who might not be aware, breadcrumbing is a term used to refer to a form of manipulation - whether intentional or not - involving one person "feigning interest and acting as though they feel sincerely interested and invested in a relationship with another person when they are not," according to Dr. Monica Vermani, a Canada-based clinical psychologist and author of 'A Deeper Wellness: Conquering Stress, Mood, Anxiety and Traumas.'
Speaking during an interview with CNN, the expert revealed that some people find joy in doing this as it allows them to experience the "fun" parts of a relationship without having to commit.
It can also be linked to other things such as the need for attention, validation, or control.
Credit: Filmstax/Getty
"[Breadcrumbing keeps] someone from looking elsewhere for a more stable, reliable and real connection, and remain hopeful and focused on them," Dr. Vermani added.
In the digital world, where it's so easy to keep someone on a string via something as simple as a text or a voice note, or maybe even a photo, breadcrumbing has become a more common tactic used to trap people.
On the other hand, for a handful of people, breadcrumbing might actually be a trauma response as it creates the right distance between two people, or so they might think.
Those who are uncomfortable giving and receiving love due to past conflicts or events they experienced in their childhoods might opt for this option unknowingly as they have not faced their issues related to vulnerability and commitment.
But why does such a little act keep someone hooked in so deep?
This is related to a psychological principle called 'intermittent reinforcement' which is a seemingly addictive cycle of praise and punishment that makes a person crave those "crumbs" given to them by someone they are involved with.
Its rival tactic, which also causes a lot of suffering in talking stages, is love bombing.
I'm sure we've all been through one of those cases where the other person has said all the right things, given you a lot in a short space of time, and made you believe they are totally into you just by their superficial actions before suddenly disappearing - that is love bombing.
Both 'Breadcrumbing' and 'Love bombing' are manipulation tactics. Credit: Fotostorm/Getty
The official definition of the term according to Psychology Today is: "...An attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection."
Whew, with all these manipulation tactics out there, we're all better off staying single.
Credit - Reddit @Thatguy9211[/caption]
Ah, dating. That nightmarish experience where we try as hard as possible to hide who we really are from someone in the hopes of coming across really cool and not seeming like a goofy idiot. Then one day you meet someone who, right from the off, makes you feel able to indulge in all your worst, stupidest, goofiest habits right from the off, even if it means staging ridiculous pranks that would annoy most people.
The best relationships start when you've finally found someone with the same sense of humor as you, who accepts you even when you're at your stupidest. These 30 boyfriends have staged ridiculous stunts that, yes, could be seen as irritating or attention-seeking or just plain dumb from a certain light, but also show that these must be some really fun relationships to be in!
[post_page_title]#1 This Bit Of Misdirected DIY[/post_page_title]
The girlfriend who took this picture was very excited at first because her boyfriend had said he was going to make a bed frame. She naturally assumed it was so they could sleep together in a handmade bed.
[caption id="attachment_4580" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @julcarls[/caption]
Turns out he just wanted the cat to have somewhere nice to lie down.
[post_page_title]#2 This Big Night In With The Dog[/post_page_title]
This guy was left looking after the dog for the weekend and told to send his girlfriend updates on how it was going. This was the first picture he sent.
[caption id="attachment_4581" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @eric72goblue[/caption]
I sure hope he allowed for at least an afternoon to tidy up before she got back. It looks like it was one hell of a party.
[post_page_title]#3 This Guy Photobombing His Own Wedding Photo[/post_page_title]
Wedding photos can be very formal, serious things, and that's understandable - a lot of money and planning goes into weddings, and you want the photos to be just right. This guy isn't bothered and has decided to just be himself.
[caption id="attachment_4582" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @Thatguy9211[/caption]
Personally, I think all wedding photos should have this much silliness in them. I think this is great.
[post_page_title]#4 This Unusual Christmas Lights Display[/post_page_title]
This guy's wife had been getting upset that their house didn't look very festive and saying they should put some lights up. This is what he decided to install on the front of their house.
[caption id="attachment_4583" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @OpticDream[/caption]
To be fair, it's hard to get around every single chimney in the world without stopping for a toilet break at some point.
[post_page_title]#5 This Inventive Use Of Candles[/post_page_title]
This guy obviously put so much time into making a tasty-looking birthday cake that he forgot to check if they had the right candles to mark his girlfriend's 39th birthday.
[caption id="attachment_4584" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Reddit @Kwantumflux[/caption]
His quick-thinking maths is impressive, though, as he manages to find a solution just with what he has to hand.
[post_page_title]#6 This Baby's Facial Adornments[/post_page_title]
This guy was left in charge of the baby while his wife was away and was asked to send a picture of him to show he was ok.
[caption id="attachment_4585" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Reddit @damnItIan[/caption]
The baby had finally fallen asleep by the time he took the picture, but he wanted to give an impression of what he'd been like up until that point.
[post_page_title]#7 This Tinder-Chat Blanket[/post_page_title]
This guy has come up with one of the most over-the-top, and one of the sweetest, anniversary presents ever. To celebrate one year of marriage to his wife, he gets their first-ever conversation on Tinder printed onto a big blanket.
[caption id="attachment_4586" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Reddit @TeenageTeenwolf[/caption]
There's just hope there's nothing too X-rated in there that any guests or visiting family members would object to seeing!
[post_page_title]#8 This Guy Posing With His Cat[/post_page_title]
This guy has such a close bond with his girlfriend's cat that they're able to mimic one another's expressions and do synchronized photoshoots together.
[caption id="attachment_4587" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Reddit @Arsenicyellow[/caption]
I just hope he's also this emotionally tuned-in to his girlfriend herself and not just to her cat.
[post_page_title]#9 This Car Seat Replacement[/post_page_title]
This guy had to drive his toddler to the babysitter's house, but he realized too late that his wife had left with the car seat. When she asked how he was going to resolve the problem, he sent her this...
[caption id="attachment_4588" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @Big-D_OdoubleG[/caption]
And then turned his phone off for 4 hours. I hope she saw the funny side of it!
[post_page_title]#10 This Ill-Advised Gag[/post_page_title]
This is certainly a well-written gag and one you've got to appreciate once you get over how mean it is.
[caption id="attachment_4589" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Twitter @she_oops[/caption]
The best relationships are the ones where you know one another well enough to be this mean, I reckon.
[post_page_title]#11 This Dog Burial[/post_page_title]
This guy decided to take his girlfriend's dog to the beach for some quality time together and even went to the effort of sending her photos of all the fun they were having together.
[caption id="attachment_4590" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @AlexanderTheGr347[/caption]
My favorite thing about this is how utterly resigned to its fate the poor dog seems to be.
[post_page_title]#12 This Failed Family Photo[/post_page_title]
This guy was taking a family photo of his wife and daughters and told a naff "Dad Joke" to get them to smile, prompting these expressions...
[caption id="attachment_4591" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Reddit @Tio76[/caption]
Obviously, some of his family appreciate his sense of humor more than others!
[post_page_title]#13 This Toast Origami[/post_page_title]
When you're sick, the one thing you want is for someone to just kindly go and fetch you what you want. Even better if they do it and incorporate a high-effort, low-return pun into the proceedings too.
[caption id="attachment_4592" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @bonjourdebbie[/caption]
I'm having trouble working out how those pieces combine to form a whole slice. There are some extra bits unaccounted for, right? Or is it just me?
[post_page_title]#14 This List Of Reasons For Crying[/post_page_title]
Some people are just very tuned into their emotions, and it doesn't take much to set them off. This guy decided to keep a record of everything that made his girlfriend cry, and it's quite the read.
[caption id="attachment_4593" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @TechnicallyRon_[/caption]
I'm with her on the videos of dogs thing, to be honest. I'm in bits if I even see a dog. Lovely things.
[post_page_title]#15 This Age-Appropriate Game Of Risk[/post_page_title]
This guy was left alone with the kids for the first time and was asked by his wife to send a picture of them to show how they were doing. This is what he sent...
[caption id="attachment_4594" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @johnsbuffalo[/caption]
Looks like all four teams have fairly equal control of the board at the moment, so the babies are doing very well for their first game.
[post_page_title]#16 This Guy Trying To Get Out Of Shopping[/post_page_title]
Everyone's ended up having to tag along on an unwanted shopping trip at some point, whether with a parent or a partner or whatever. Not everyone has found it so terrible that they've had to resort to outside help to get out of it like this guy, though.
[caption id="attachment_4595" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @DudeDad[/caption]
I wonder if he got picked up by anyone and hitch-hiked his way out of there?
[post_page_title]#17 This Incredible Christmas Outfit[/post_page_title]
This guy was told by his wife to dress up for a professional family Christmas photo shoot. I imagine she was thinking of a general smart-casual vibe with perhaps a festive twist. He was thinking of this...
[caption id="attachment_4596" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @Darzin[/caption]
It's a strong look, but hey, if you can't wear it for a professional Christmas photoshoot, there's literally no time you can ever wear it, so good on him.
[post_page_title]#18 This Gender Reveal Cake[/post_page_title]
Gender reveal parties are an odd recent fad, but the dad-to-be who went and got this cake made at least seems to understand that they're inherently a bit silly and has certainly gone with that vibe for the message.
[caption id="attachment_4597" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Reddit @Lemongrass29[/caption]
I wonder if there were any more elderly relatives here to celebrate the imminent arrival of their grandchildren who found this less funny than others?
[post_page_title]#19 These Herb Puns[/post_page_title]
This guy decided to be helpful by labeling some of his wife's herbs. But rather than give in to boring tradition by just labeling them with their names, he's decided to incorporate some excellent puns.
[caption id="attachment_4598" align="aligncenter" width="800"]
Credit - Reddit @whit1and[/caption]
I'm sure he mint no harm by it.
[post_page_title]#20 This Tree Topper[/post_page_title]
This guy's fiancee was worried their Christmas tree was a bit too serious and drab and told him to find a more fun, festive tree topper to take the edge off. This is what he came up with.
[caption id="attachment_4599" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @katlikeafox[/caption]
A total failure, as far as I'm concerned. This bit of King Kong is very dramatic and emotional and not funny or silly at all. What was he thinking?
[post_page_title]#21 This Goat-in-the-Bed[/post_page_title]
This picture was taken by a woman who was woken by her husband late at night texting her and saying: "Wake up or I'm bringing the goats inside!" She ignored the text and went back to sleep and then was woken by this...
[caption id="attachment_4600" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @whitedragonatx[/caption]
There must be more context to this story that explains it. They must have had a pet goat in the garden, right? Surely. Or did the husband steal a goat? It's an odd one, this.
[post_page_title]#22 This Letter From Santa[/post_page_title]
This dad was charged with writing the letter from Santa that the kids would discover on Christmas morning but realized halfway through that there's not much point in him writing anything that specific.
[caption id="attachment_4601" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @SirSilksalot[/caption]
A fair point well made.
[post_page_title]#23 This Sabotaged Anniversary Message[/post_page_title]
This guy's wife put the message "We Still Do" on this board to celebrate their 13-year anniversary, and posted a picture of it to Instagram before noticing that he'd added an extra word while she wasn't looking.
[caption id="attachment_4602" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @PM_ME_WITH_A_SMILE[/caption]
I hope it was a good long time before she noticed and that this picture was out there on Instagram causing maximum mischief before she realized.
[post_page_title]#24 These Stockings With Ulterior Motives[/post_page_title]
This husband, whose name is Ian, was very insistent that he and his wife's new puppy be given its own stocking on Christmas Day. She thought it was a very sweet idea, until she realized his actual reason for pushing for it.
[caption id="attachment_4603" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @alymac95[/caption]
I wonder if marrying someone whose name begins with A was simply Stage 1 of his masterplan?
[post_page_title]#25 This Burrito Girlfriend[/post_page_title]
When their classes were canceled due to arctic weather conditions, this guy decided to make a boring day in a bit more interesting by wrapping his girlfriend up like a burrito and feeding her mozzarella sticks.
[caption id="attachment_4604" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
looks
Credit - Reddit @goodlittleguy[/caption]
She looks happy, but I do hope she was on-board with all of this, otherwise it'd be a horrific thing to be subjected to.
[post_page_title]#26 This Escaped Spider Prank[/post_page_title]
This guy played a prank on his arachnophobe wife by leaving this rather unpleasant surprise for her at the end of the day.
[caption id="attachment_4605" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit[/caption]
Fingers crossed it didn't send her into a total panic.
[post_page_title]#27 This Parkinsons Prank[/post_page_title]
This guy, after being diagnosed with Parkinson's, managed to find the funny side of his illness by sending out this as his Christmas letter to his friends.
[caption id="attachment_4606" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @akiro27[/caption]
The little sticker from his wife explaining the joke just makes it extra adorable, I reckon.
[post_page_title]#28 This Bug Prank[/post_page_title]
This guy's girlfriend had recently had a bug problem in her apartment. One night, when they were drinking together, and she had got quite drunk, he decided to do this while she had gone to the toilet.
[caption id="attachment_4607" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @ketchuppacket[/caption]
This is one of those real "Could be hilarious or could end the relationship" pranks, so fingers crossed it went well for him!
[post_page_title]#29 This Horrific Pie[/post_page_title]
This guy was asked by his wife to cut vents in the turkey pie she was baking to let the air circulate through it. This is what he did...
[caption id="attachment_4608" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @FillsYourNiche[/caption]
It's one of the most horrible things I've ever seen. I feel like someone needs to kill the poor thing to put it out of its misery.
[post_page_title]#30 This Photoshoot[/post_page_title]
This guy grew a mustache his girlfriend really hated and was told he had to shave it off. He did, but only after saying goodbye to it with a professional photo shoot with his dog.
[caption id="attachment_4609" align="aligncenter" width="600"]
Credit - Reddit @sapperdanman[/caption]
To be fair, in this context the mustache does look pretty good. But it's a fairly specific context, I suppose.
A woman questioned whether she should divorce her husband after she learned that her husband was referring to her as "ST" in chats with his friends.
Relationships are something to be cherished, and once you've found the person you consider to be "the one", it's presumed you'll do whatever it takes to give them the best life possible.
That can be done in many ways, and some couples have cute nicknames for each other that might seem weird to everyone else, but it means a lot to them.
But what happens if your partner has a nickname for you that they only use with their friends? One woman ran into this very situation.
The couple fell out over a nickname. Credit: bymuratdeniz/Getty
The woman in question took the Reddit to seek advice on her bizarre situation, as she began: "My phone died right as I was texting my mom about something rather important so my husband let me use his. As I was typing, a banner popped up with a text from one of his friends to their group chat, saying to the effect of 'hey (Husband), do you and ST still want to (Halloween plan we'd talked about)?'"
After reading through the chat a little more, she confirmed that ST was referring to her but she was confused because they aren't her initials.
"I showed him the chat and asked what it stood for," she penned. "He looked suddenly really flustered. He grabbed his phone back and said 'oh uhh it's nothing, just a nickname.' Okay? Well what's it stand for? He literally wouldn't tell me...he just kept saying 'don't worry about it.'".
She pressed further, saying if it was a joke she would prefer to know and not be left with the anxiety of thinking that she is being mocked, so he told her that it stood for "super terrific".
Naturally, this didn't quite settle things as the Redditor was still anxious about what it meant and wondered if she was overthinking, but then a dreaded update arrived.
She said: "I ended up getting a text from one of my husband's female friends in his group chat, the day after I posted here. Turned out that right after I asked him about the nickname, he told all of them I'd seen it and to stop calling me that."
The friend then revealed what ST stands for, and sadly it wasn't something complimentary - it's 'sausage t*ts'.
She went on: "I don't even know how or why it started. I cannot fathom the thought that my husband could have described my boobs in detail to all his friends. And then they thought it sounded hilarious enough to make a nickname out of?"
Her husband apologized profusely, but the couple have been sleeping in separate rooms ever since while the Redditor works out what she wants to do.
The Redditor is now weighing up her options. Credit: Witthaya Prasongsin/Getty
"I'm trying to figure out if my need for space is temporary or permanent. If it's permanent, then I'll be pursuing divorce," she said.
She went on: "I never could have imagined he'd view me like this behind his back. It's like if he was to gain weight and I encouraged all my friends to start calling him fata** or beer belly behind his back. What other possible reason to do that than contempt. I said this but he insists it doesn't have any deeper meaning and is just bad humor.
"The issue I'm realizing is now there will always be a fear in my mind that he's saying nasty things about me to who knows who."
Other users took to the comments to share their thoughts, with one writing: "I think the worst part is when he texted his friends after she saw the ST message. It wasn’t 'Guys, cool it. We’re being mean. Yes, I thought it was funny at first, but it’s not, and her feelings will be hurt.' It was 'LOL she found out about ST and she’s gonna be so p**sed if she finds out what it stands for LOL'. He didn’t care about her feelings, he only cared that he’d been found out."
Another added: "Imagine making fun of your SO's (or anyone's) body and not seeing an issue with that. Holy s**t. I would raise hell if anyone commented on my girlfriend's body in a remotely questionable way, I cannot f**king imagine joining in on it. OP's husband is a dogs**t human."
Others wrote: "I can't even imagine disrespecting my partner like that. Let alone telling people and joking about it. Wtf is wrong with people", and: "As someone with self confidence issues I could not imagine going thru something like this especially it being her husband who said it.. I hope she is able to heal from this and she realizes that nothing is wrong with her body and her husband is just an a**."
In every romantic relationship, it's pretty much inevitable that there's going to be a massive difference in opinion somewhere down the line. It doesn't matter whether you're totally in love or if your values are completely aligned, there's going to be a disagreement at one point in your conscious coupling.
Of course, I am of the opinion that without friction in a relationship, there is no fire, and certainly, there are some things worth arguing about with the one you love.
As a contentious issue and one of the leading causes of divorce, money discussions are definitely worth talking about, and if you're looking for a way to broach the subject with your partner, then you should probably not follow the example of this guy in an airport.
Twitter user @mzbat told us about an interaction in an airport that really shouldn't be happening in the 21st century, but this man was shown up by his girlfriend, who hit back in an awesome display of independence and self-worth. It all starts with a lady having scored a promotion.
As you can imagine, she was over the moon about it, but was swiftly brought back to Earth by her boyfriend - who told her to turn down that promotion. Not because it wouldn't be the right thing for his partner or because it would move her far away from him: no, because it would mean that she'd be earning more money than him, and as a result, he'd be "humiliated". That just wouldn't do, would it?
This enterprising young lady begrudgingly acquiesced to her partner's request, and unsurprisingly, began to cry. Whether it was because she was devastated at having to turn down the promotion or because it had just dawned on her that her boyfriend was an insecure, controlling man-baby, it's difficult to say, but tears are not where this story ends. Not by a long shot.
If I were this lady's boyfriend, I'd probably call it a day after manipulating my significant other into turning down the opportunity to better herself for my own narcissistic comfort, but instead, the man decided to reveal himself as a time traveller, journeying to our present from the 1960s. Or, y'know, a jerk.
He tells his crying lover that soon she'll be a full-time mom, and as a result, there's no point in all of that "career" and "making the best of yourself" nonsense. It is at this moment that unbeknownst to this jerk boyfriend, he's taken things too far, and the recently-promoted lady stops crying, and starts biting back.
Well, I don't know about you, but I'd love to emphatically stand up for myself and storm off amidst a smattering of applause, and that's just what happened to this gal as she takes the opportunity to walk away from this jerk and what would have been a very uncomfortable trip to Cancun, throwing her boarding pass at him as she goes.
From there, there was a flurry of "rage texting" from the boyfriend in this situation, who has now been humiliated at the airport, as you'll note with more than a hint of irony. But as far as we can tell, this altercation had a happy ending, and the Twitter user who captured it all tweeted a message to our new viral heroine:
It might seem obvious to say, but it's really, really easy to end up in a relationship that doesn't bring out the best in you. When you find yourself at the point of selling yourself short for the benefit of your partner, it's a surefire sign that things have to change. In the moment, it's always difficult, but I'm glad that this woman took the opportunity to leave this jerk. Wherever you are, Brave Airport Lady, you go, girl! There are definitely better things out there for you.
A woman has taken to social media to share the "red flag" messages she'd received from a guy she'd met on a dating app just five days prior.
Alyssa - who uses the handle @xolyssarosexo on TikTok - opted to take to the video-sharing platform to share the messages, captioning her first post: "PSA... Be careful of strangers and listen to your gut!!! He was completely normal before this and it gets worse."
Before we get into the nitty-gritty, it's important to note that Alyssa had only known the guy for FIVE DAYS.
She explained that they had started messaging on a dating app and that she had never even met the guy - they had only shared a video call.
However, when the day came that they were supposed to meet for the first time, Alyssa explains that she "wasn’t feeling well" and decided to cancel the date. "Then this happened," she writes.
In a series of TikTok videos, Alyssa shares the increasingly concerning messages she received from the guy.
Urging Alyssa not to cancel the date, the guy sends through a number of messages out of desperation, including one that reads: "Can I please see you tonight? I really like you. This won't get ruined."
"When are you parents gonna be home? I'm not taking no for [an] answer/ You need this," another message read - despite Alyssa explaining that her canceling the plans had nothing to do with him.
In the second video, Alyssa tries to explain to the guy that she's not looking for such an intense relationship, to which he responds: "I'm begging you literally".
Oh boy... and it only gets worse.
As the messages continue, Alyssa writes to him: "Okay - I am going to be real with you. What just happened in the last couple of hours was INSANE. We barely know each other and you are WAY too invested. I thought would be fun but it's too much.
"Please don't text me anymore. And I am very serious about this. Do not contact me again."
In response - and remember that the pair had only known each other for five days and had never met - he decided to drop the "L bomb", writing: "You made me fall in love with you and this was just a game to you? So the connection and you really really liking me was a lie? This was just for fun?"
After more messages and a bizarre slew of gifs, he then has the audacity to message: "What time you thinking for dinner?"
In her final video, Alyssa explains that she is keeping the messages as proof for harassment - to which he tells her that it wasn't his "first rodeo". Oh boy...
Alyssa revealed in a comment that the plan was for the pair to go to a local brewery - but that he was adamant that she head over to his place first.
After sharing all four posts on the matter, Alyssa's comments section blew up, with many people saying that she "dodged a bullet" and that the messages were a "red flag":
Credit: TikTok
Credit: TikTok
Credit: TikTok
Credit: TikTok
Credit: TikTok
Credit: TikTok
Alyssa has also revealed that she is safe and gave the guy no personal information - but she did sent the messages to her cop cousin as a precaution.
Finally, I'll leave you all with this amazing advice from this TikToker's mom:
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