Woman put her boyfriend on a 'performance improvement plan' to improve their relationship

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By Nasima Khatun

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A woman has taken to the internet to reveal that she put her boyfriend on a performance improvement plan in order to improve their relationship overall.

Nadeen Hui, from San Francisco, told her 21.3 thousand TikTok followers about the details of her relationship, revealing that she had to implement some drastic measures in order to sort out a few problems the pair were having.

After disclosing that she and her boyfriend had moved in together very early on in their relationship, she said that they quickly realized that they had a few issues that turned into bigger issues.

It got to the point where Nadeen was considering calling it quits - or in her words "firing" her man - but thankfully, she managed to find a solution that seemed to work out in both their favor.

"We felt like we weren't compatible - so as the last straw, we decided to do a performance improvement plan (PIP)," she tells the camera before acknowledging: "I know it's kind of harsh to some of you - but he's an engineer and sometimes it's really hard to communicate with him without using something that he can already relate to. Plus, he liked it."

The 30-year-old explained how she used a Kanban Board, a collaborative business tool, to schedule household chores as well as wider tasks that needed sorting out.

"It worked out really well," she continues. "Even now, we use a board for household chores and things we're responsible for. [It] has been the only thing that has stuck and works. If I ever need anything done, I add it to the Kandan Board and he does it. If I tell him in person, he just forgets."

Not only does the couple manage their tasks in a unique way, they also have weekly meetings to reflect on their progress.

"We also do weekly retrospectives where we check in with each other at the end of each week to see how we're doing," she said. "We ask each other if we feel loved, if we've gotten enough attention, if there were certain things we could have done more for the other person..."

"We tried everything we could before deciding on this, I didn't give him an ultimatum, and it didn't come from a toxic argument. I don't believe in changing people - and I don't believe that he was going to change for me," she explains.

"He's the one who insisted he was doing it for himself and he wanted to be a better person," Nadeen added. "He was the one who told me task lists with clear objectives are what works for him."

The video has been viewed over 200,000 times and has garnered over 600 comments from other social media users.

Let's just say the internet seems to be divided on this unique plan of action.

"This is so condescending," commented one unimpressed user, while another added: Late stage capitalism is truly hell."

A third stated: "I’d prefer not to be someone’s manager or assign tasks though..."

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Credit: TikTok
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Credit: TikTok

Others had questions about the approach.

One asked: "How do you feel about still [having] to 'manage; him though? Is there a plan for him to become his own manager? A path to promotion, you might call it?"

A different user wanted to know: "Is there a sprint review too to review his performance?"

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Credit: TikTok
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Credit: TikTok

"Does he do the same for you? It’s important that both sides improve," this user commented.

And this TikToker described the technique as "fascinating" before adding: "I’m wondering how you feel about the emotional labour of having to do and ultimately manage this?"

wp-image-1263199185 size-large
Credit: TikTok
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Credit: TikTok

But a massive portion of the commenters seemed to be on board with the idea, emphasizing the benefits of it.

"That is very nice way of communicating instead of yelling and screaming at each other," said one user, while other commented that "this is absolutely hilarious."

wp-image-1263199188 size-large
Credit: TikTok

Someone else stated: "These ppl are miserable and people are so quick to breakup instead of finding tools to make a relationship work. I applaud you for this babe!"

"I like that you communicated clearly with him on his level instead of expecting him to mind read or learn new communication modes," this user pointed out.

"I love this idea," commented yet another.

wp-image-1263199191 size-large
Credit: TikTok

Hey, if it works for them, it works for them.

We stan healthy communication.

Featured Image Credit: Westend61 GmbH / Alamy

Woman put her boyfriend on a 'performance improvement plan' to improve their relationship

vt-author-image

By Nasima Khatun

Article saved!Article saved!

A woman has taken to the internet to reveal that she put her boyfriend on a performance improvement plan in order to improve their relationship overall.

Nadeen Hui, from San Francisco, told her 21.3 thousand TikTok followers about the details of her relationship, revealing that she had to implement some drastic measures in order to sort out a few problems the pair were having.

After disclosing that she and her boyfriend had moved in together very early on in their relationship, she said that they quickly realized that they had a few issues that turned into bigger issues.

It got to the point where Nadeen was considering calling it quits - or in her words "firing" her man - but thankfully, she managed to find a solution that seemed to work out in both their favor.

"We felt like we weren't compatible - so as the last straw, we decided to do a performance improvement plan (PIP)," she tells the camera before acknowledging: "I know it's kind of harsh to some of you - but he's an engineer and sometimes it's really hard to communicate with him without using something that he can already relate to. Plus, he liked it."

The 30-year-old explained how she used a Kanban Board, a collaborative business tool, to schedule household chores as well as wider tasks that needed sorting out.

"It worked out really well," she continues. "Even now, we use a board for household chores and things we're responsible for. [It] has been the only thing that has stuck and works. If I ever need anything done, I add it to the Kandan Board and he does it. If I tell him in person, he just forgets."

Not only does the couple manage their tasks in a unique way, they also have weekly meetings to reflect on their progress.

"We also do weekly retrospectives where we check in with each other at the end of each week to see how we're doing," she said. "We ask each other if we feel loved, if we've gotten enough attention, if there were certain things we could have done more for the other person..."

"We tried everything we could before deciding on this, I didn't give him an ultimatum, and it didn't come from a toxic argument. I don't believe in changing people - and I don't believe that he was going to change for me," she explains.

"He's the one who insisted he was doing it for himself and he wanted to be a better person," Nadeen added. "He was the one who told me task lists with clear objectives are what works for him."

The video has been viewed over 200,000 times and has garnered over 600 comments from other social media users.

Let's just say the internet seems to be divided on this unique plan of action.

"This is so condescending," commented one unimpressed user, while another added: Late stage capitalism is truly hell."

A third stated: "I’d prefer not to be someone’s manager or assign tasks though..."

wp-image-1263199177 size-large
Credit: TikTok
wp-image-1263199178 size-full
Credit: TikTok

Others had questions about the approach.

One asked: "How do you feel about still [having] to 'manage; him though? Is there a plan for him to become his own manager? A path to promotion, you might call it?"

A different user wanted to know: "Is there a sprint review too to review his performance?"

wp-image-1263199183 size-large
Credit: TikTok
wp-image-1263199184 size-large
Credit: TikTok

"Does he do the same for you? It’s important that both sides improve," this user commented.

And this TikToker described the technique as "fascinating" before adding: "I’m wondering how you feel about the emotional labour of having to do and ultimately manage this?"

wp-image-1263199185 size-large
Credit: TikTok
wp-image-1263199193 size-large
Credit: TikTok

But a massive portion of the commenters seemed to be on board with the idea, emphasizing the benefits of it.

"That is very nice way of communicating instead of yelling and screaming at each other," said one user, while other commented that "this is absolutely hilarious."

wp-image-1263199188 size-large
Credit: TikTok

Someone else stated: "These ppl are miserable and people are so quick to breakup instead of finding tools to make a relationship work. I applaud you for this babe!"

"I like that you communicated clearly with him on his level instead of expecting him to mind read or learn new communication modes," this user pointed out.

"I love this idea," commented yet another.

wp-image-1263199191 size-large
Credit: TikTok

Hey, if it works for them, it works for them.

We stan healthy communication.

Featured Image Credit: Westend61 GmbH / Alamy