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Psychotherapist reveals 'rule Ole Miss freshman violated' after disturbing video where she made monkey noises went viral
A psychotherapist has addressed the "rule" that the Ole Miss freshman, who was caught making racist monkey noises outside a Black student's apartment, "violated" in her public apology.
Alaina Kunes, 18, and two other women sparked widespread outrage after a Ring camera video captured her beating her chest and making monkey noises alongside another woman outside an off-campus apartment at the University of Mississippi on November 6.
A third woman in the video walked by without stopping at the door.
The footage, shared on TikTok by student Jakiyra Metcalf, has garnered nearly 13 million views and prompted the university to launch an investigation.
Kunes issued a public apology
The incident attracted attention in Wisconsin after social media users linked Kunes to the family behind Kunes Auto Group, a Wisconsin-founded dealership company with more than 40 locations across the Midwest.
A spokesperson confirmed that Kunes is the daughter of the company's former chief operating officer, Scott Kunes, and that she has voluntarily withdrawn from the university.
In a statement issued through her attorneys, the 18-year-old apologized to the women affected by her actions.
"To the women I offended, and to the Ole Miss community, I sincerely apologize," she said in a statement, alleging that before the incident, she had never "met the women involved and was unaware of their race".
"I would have never intentionally made those noises or gestures toward a person of color," she continued. "I understand the seriousness of this situation and remain committed to taking responsibility and learning from this embarrassing ordeal.
"These girls deserve to feel seen and understood, and what I did is not a reflection of who I am trying to become," she added.
Kunes pledged to fully cooperate with the university’s investigation and also requested privacy for herself and her family, claiming that they have been harassed over the last few days and received death threats.
Psychotherapist Explains The 'Rule' Kunes Violated
Elliott Connie, a psychotherapist, reacted to the statement in a YouTube video.
He pointed out that the "one rule she violated" was that she made the apology about herself when she mentioned that her family was allegedly getting death threats.
"The other rule she violated is that she made it about her... she brought up death threats, and then she thanked law enforcement for protecting her," he said. "So now you've made it about you."
Connie explained that, in his view, a meaningful apology should remain focused on those who were harmed rather than the consequences faced by the person apologizing.
"An apology always has to be about the person you were apologizing to. So when I heard this, I immediately thought - it's a bad apology, and it's also an apology rooted in untruths because she started the whole thing off by telling a lie," he said.
He also questioned the freshman's explanation that she had been unaware of the women's race, suggesting that real accountability would require a more direct acknowledgment of racist behavior and a commitment to changing it.
"Now look, I understand it's hard to admit that 'I am a bigot'. I understand it's hard to admit that 'I am a racist'. Understand it's hard to admit that 'I come from southern Mississippi where I learned some really bad racist traits that I need to unlearn.'
"But that's what an apology sounds like. 'I grew up in an area where I learned these things and I have to do some work to unlearn them and I'm going to be, I'm going to commit myself to unlearning these things,'" he continued. "That's what it sounds like. But that's not what she said."
Mother Of Black Student Demands Accountability
Meanwhile, Tasha Bolton, whose freshman daughter lives in the apartment with two Black roommates, condemned the racist incident in a Facebook post on Saturday.
Bolton identified the women in the doorbell footage as her daughter's upstairs neighbors
"This is absolutely disgusting and unacceptable. College is supposed to be a place where young adults can learn, grow, and feel safe," she wrote. "We want answers. Specifically, what steps will be taken to address this behavior and ensure accountability?"