You've heard the song, you've got the t-shirt, you've probably tried the dance - but if you really think about it, it's kind of hard to argue that girls actually do "Run the World". For at least the last thousand years, cultures all over the world have been dominated by patriarchal societies, one's in which moral authority, social privilege and financial control all rest in the hands of men in the first instance. From dowry marriages to the current gender pay gap, even the many waves of feminism haven't quite change the fact that in many (most) countries, men still get a much easier ride than women. But once upon a time, it is believed that the world was overflowing with just the opposite kind of societies - matriarchal ones, where women called the shots. Officially defined as a society where females lead family groups, tribes or states, these actively prioritise a woman's role and opinion in the family, business or political spheres. Although few and far between today, there do still exist a few cultures in which women still do run the world - and they’re more different from one another than you might think.

Khasi, India

How would your husband feel about moving in his mother-in-law, forever? That’s exactly what happens in the culture Khasi people, in the Indian state of Meghalaya. Once married, a man is at the mercy of his wife’s mother and must do as she says, whether that’s washing the dishes or taking the bins out. Although it might sound hellish to many, Khasi women are in high demand; as an officially designated ethnic minority, the Khasi receive privileges such as lower taxation, which for some men makes it a price worth paying. Although land and family names are passed through the female lines, it’s not all plain sailing for women, as any major decisions made must be endorsed by a maternal uncle. But, in a country that doesn’t necessarily have the best reputation when it comes to the treatment of women, it’s certainly a more fortunate position than many people find themselves in.  [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq820RqnjcM/]]

Minangkabau, Indonesia

The Minangkabau people are the world’s largest matriarchal society, numbering four million people in total. Although religious and political affairs are both male responsibilities, the mother is, by far, the most important figure in society and men cannot make final decisions without authority from their female equals. In contrast to many other societies, being graced with daughters is considered a blessing, not a curse. As with the Khasi people, family name, property and land all pass down from mother to daughter and so the female bloodline is fiercely protected. In some particularly traditional families, married women remain living at home with their mothers while their husbands are granted visiting rights only; in more modern ones, women live with their husbands but must return each morning for breakfast with their mothers. Inheritance and brunch? Doesn't sound too bad!  [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BsLFwf_A1K-/]]

Mosuo, China

The right of women to choose their own partners - and to change them as they wish - is often considered to be a modern development, but for the Mosuo people, this has long been the norm. In the Mosuo world, there is no need for marriage because only the influence of the mother's family is regarded as useful. Individuals live in their matriarchal home all of their lives, with partners only permitted to visit at night, something often referred to as a “walking marriage”. Here, men are seen as little more than handy sperm donors, manual labourers and babysitters, although they sometimes have a say in familial decisions - but only with the permission of their grandmother. [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BiLml8OBqFZ/]]

Aka, Central Africa

In many Western countries, it’s mum that gets lumbered with doing the weekly food shop, but for the Aka tribe, who live in the Central African Republic and the Democratic Republic of Congo, things are a little different. Instead of shopping, mum goes hunting, even throughout her pregnancy. Although not strictly matriarchal, this is believed to be one of the most equal societies on earth, owing to the belief that anything a man can do, a woman can too. This works both ways of course, with Aka fathers spending more time with their children than any other fathers on earth, and even offering their babies their nipples to suck on while mum’s away - which solves the age old mystery of why men even have nipples, really.  [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/Br-EUgFhhjs/]]

Bribri, Costa Rica

A small indigenous group of this Central American nation, the social structure of the Bribri people is organised into matrilineal clans, featuring extended families based on the mother's own background. With a culture centered around the idea that society should work in harmony with Mother Earth, knowledge and cultural traditions are predominantly passed down by grandmothers, who are held in especially high regard. Women also often hold senior positions in society, such as owning businesses, although spiritual leadership roles are reserved for men. As a mark of respect though, only women may prepare the cacao used in sacred rituals. While men are permitted to pass on knowledge such as trade, it may only be to their female relatives' sons, never to their own. [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BsJKG6un_P-/]] It's widely acknowledged that matriarchal and patriarchal societies can be as damaging and oppressive as one another, but that doesn't mean it's not refreshing to see a granny's opinion holding the most gravitas once in a while. For better or for worse, many of these matriarchal traditions are now slowly fading away as younger generations migrate to cities and mix with people from other backgrounds; all we can hope, is that in our own cultures, life starts to level out a bit. Let's keep the brunch thing though, please.

Back in the day, marriage was all about duty, joining families (ahem, wealth) and producing offspring to advance their lineage.  But since then, it's arguably turned more into a gesture, where marriage is more about the loving union you declare on paper.

Still, some of those old-fashioned feelings about marriage carry on. For example, it seems that many marriages still can't shake the gender norms and "duties" for men and women. Traditionally, the man would go out and work to provide money for the family. The woman would stay home to clean, look after the kids, and cook meals that would be laid out steaming on the table the moment he walks in and declares: "Honey, I'm home!"

But things are different now. Women are just as much of a part of the workforce as men, so why is it that housework still falls largely on the woman?

Of course, we shouldn't make generalisations that discredit the couples who prefer to go with the 'stay-at-home-mom' kind of structure, and we need to acknowledge that there are plenty of couples who split household chores simply because they both live there.

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BmHvhT9gOtB/?taken-by=beigecardigan]]

But I digress.

A little while ago, blogger Constance Hall took to Facebook to share a (well-justified) rant about the share of housework in her family home. With young kids who attend school, the mother complained about her huge workload which often seemed to go unnoticed by her husband, who never thought to help out around the home unless he was specifically asked.

[[facebookwidget||https://www.facebook.com/mrsconstancehall/photos/a.1020217474689744.1073741828.1019711431407015/1718943271483824/?type=3&theater]]

Her post went viral, showing just how many people could relate. Constance started out by sharing a piece of advice she got from someone who told her that all she needed to do was "to be specific" when asking for help.

But while Constance tried this, it lead her to realise that her husband would only do something if he was asked. His apparent lack of consideration or even recognition about what needed to be done around the home only infuriated her further.

"And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking...?

"NOTHING.

"Again."

Constance said she became "exhausted" and tired of her own "constant nagging". In the end, she decided it was really up to him (or whoever the lazy counterpart in any relationship is) to "just think about each other" and figure out what to do themselves.

"I've come to the conclusion that it's not your job to ask for help, it's not my job to write f*cking lists," she wrote. "We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them. Just do it. Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house."

Constance warned that when you get too tired of constantly asking for help, it might lead to "silent resentment", something she described as "relationship cancer".

"It's not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That's your job. Just do the f*cking dishes without being asked once in a while mother f*ckers."

You can read the entire post here:

[[facebookwidget||https://www.facebook.com/mrsconstancehall/posts/1784223994955751]]

The emotional labour that is added on top of the physical work shouldn't be underestimated. If you both live there, both work and both have busy lifestyles, isn't it fair to split the chores – knowing that you should be, without being specifically asked?

Even in highly developed and forward-thinking countries, it is not uncommon for men to want a son over a daughter. In more traditional, patriarchal countries, this desire to continue a dynasty via a son is even more prevalent - and manifests itself in some unusual ways.

Mangal Karimy, from Afghanistan's Herat province, looks like a normal 13-year-old boy. He dutifully helps his parents with physical tasks which, owning a wheat and dairy farm as they do, is a great help. However, until he was two years old, Mangal was Madina. One of seven daughters, Madina was chosen to live as a boy.

In certain parts of the Middle East, it is not uncommon for a daughter to be chosen to live as a son. This phenomenon is mainly confined to Afghanistan and is known as "bacha posh". A Dari term, it literally translates to "dressed as a boy".

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BxAQKaqHRgR/]]

Families without a son may be seen by others in the community as incomplete. It is therefore generally accepted that sons in some families were born as girls. As Chief Editor of the Afghanistan Women News Agency (AWNA) Sodaba Ehrari explains, the women here "cannot earn money to support their families [and] they cannot live alone.” Ehrari, who believes that women are seen as a burden, adds “so many reasons (like this) lead them in this patriarchal society to practice bacha posh".

In an earlier form of this trend, during the reign of Habibullah Khan in the early 1900s, women dressed as men to guard the king's harem. Officially, the harem could be guarded by neither men nor women. "Segregation calls for creativity," historian Nancy Dupree said of the situation. "These people have the most amazing coping capability."

Today, children like Mangal are living proof that bacha posh is still alive and well. Being bacha posh affords girls certain privileges usually reserved only for boys. However, it is mainly for the benefit of the parents. "I made my daughter like a boy to serve me food and water when I am working in the desert," Mangal’s father Khoda told CNN.

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BnPReHfHpKs/]]

In Dari, there are no gender pronouns "he" and "she". Translated into English, however, his parents favour “her” and use the two names interchangeably: "I love all my daughters but I love Madina more as I ask her to do work like 'go take care of the cattle' or 'bring something to a neighbour’," says Khoda. "Otherwise there is no difference between them."

Proud of their heritage, the local people of Herat province are resistant to outside influences. Furthermore, it is a practical way to receive help from a child without flouting strict customs on what women are and aren’t allowed to do. "We made her like a son to help her father," said Mangal’s mother Amena.

"I would like to go back to being a girl when I grow up," admits Mangal, although he prefers male pronouns for the time being. In many cases, a bacha posh boy will return to being a girl when they hit puberty or, as is the case with Mangal, if his parents have a boy in the meantime.

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BpjGi3YHXf7/]]

A similar but far darker local trend is that of “bacha bazi” whereby boys are presented as female and either made to perform as dancers or prostitute themselves. With horror stories of young boys being snatched up and sold into the sex trade, it is a phenomenon which has - at times - bordered on folklore.

It has been reported that those sleeping with the boys are often local police officers. This created much tension between US soldiers and the Afghan Local Police (ALP) during the War in Afghanistan. In fact, the former acting chief of police says in a 2013 Vice Media film that the bacha boys “like being there and giving their asses at night".

Arguing with an American military advisor over a young boy who was shot in the leg after trying to escape a police barrack, he continued: "If [my commanders] don't f*ck the asses of those boys, what should they f*ck? The p*ssies of their own Grandmothers?"

[[imagecaption|| Credit: Getty]]

In 2011, ALP commander Abdul Rahman laughed and confessed to the rape of a 12-year-old boy. It is claimed that the boy was chained to a bed and sexually abused for two weeks. Rahman was consequently severely beaten by two US Special Forces soldiers and removed from the base.

The two soldiers voluntarily left the military but were reinstated following a lengthy legal case which also saw the creation of the "Mandating America's Responsibility to Limit Abuse, Negligence and Depravity", or "Martland Act" - named after Special Forces Sgt. 1st Class Charles Martland. Prior to this, certain servicemen and women had been told to ignore child sexual abuse by allied security forces, except "when rape is being used as a weapon of war".

There were concerns that bacha bazi was escalating following the retreat of the Taliban who had ruled that bacha bazi was homosexual and therefore punishable by death. Interestingly, however, it is thought that bacha posh - where young girls live as boys - may have increased with a resurgence of Taliban control.

[[imagecaption|| Credit: Getty]]

Between 60 and 70 per cent of Afghanistan is contested or controlled by the Islamist militant group. According to Nadia Hashimi, an Afghan-American paediatrician and author bacha posh novel The Pearl That Broke Its Shell, gender inequality will prevail as long as the Taliban does.

Meanwhile in the west, we too promote the idea that gender is fluid. But this is a relatively new concept here. In many parts of Afghanistan, this is not new at all. However, it appears to be used more for the benefit of one’s parents rather than oneself. Sadly, what many bacha posh boys eagerly anticipate as a pubescent rebirth could very well precede a gender identity crisis.

 

Some images are used for illustration purposes only

You have probably heard it said that you don't truly know someone until you live with them. After all, most of us are perfectly capable of faking good manners and charm over the course of an hour long dinner date, but covering up some of our more irritating habits over the long term is a pointless and nigh on impossible task. Inevitably, laziness kicks in and we tend to revert to type; leaving the toilet seat up, failing to take out the bins and generally leaving scenes of utter devastation in our wake as lurch from room to room like some one man wrecking ball. Living with others; either friends or a potential life partner, requires compromise on all sides if you are to have a happy home life, rather than a tour de force of passive aggression culminating in the bin being emptied into your bed after months of siege. We'd all rather avoid the carnage, wouldn't we? Of course, many of us learn these skills of adaptation and compromise at college, when we thrust into the unknown with people we have never met before; it is then that we can get all the milk-stealing, fridge raiding and washing up failures out of the way, before we end up living with a significant other. As the winter months draw in and the leaves fall off the trees, so too the temperature falls, leaving many of us poor souls shivering in our own homes, no matter how many layers we wear, nor how fur-lined our improbably expensive slippers. Now, speaking personally, I do not do well in an empty house. Like some sort of unfortunate lab specimen, I wither and slow down to a snail's pace, unable to function as I would in more temperate climes. Perhaps I am not alone, because new research has found that the temperature of the house is an issue that a third of couples disagree on. More astonishingly still, the study found that four in 10 women go rogue, and, unbeknownst to their partner, turn the heating up on the sly. Dastardly! Picture the scene. You're curled up on the sofa watching some Christmas blockbuster or another - shivering, obviously, but determined to outlast the bleak midwinter without sending your energy bills through the roof. Freezing, but slightly smug as you imagine the incremental savings you're making by resisting the urge to adjust the thermostat, your brief reverie is interrupted as your girlfriend stands up suddenly. "Where are you going?" you ask, a little startled. "Oh... Just.. The toilet" she replies, with a reassuring smile. Imagine your chagrin then, when, returning suspiciously quickly, she sits down next to you and pretends not to notice as the temperature of the flat creeps suspiciously up over the coming minutes. You shouldn't hold it against her, though, because a separate study has found that women's hands are on average three degrees colder than men when exposed to cold. Science: fixing relationship disputes in 2017.

It's quite disgusting to think that it is only within the last 100 years of human history that women have been able to be treated as equals within society. Just a few short decades ago, women were expected to stay at home, have some kids, and have dinner on the table for when her husband got back from work.

Now, (for the most part) women are treated equally, with more women in management positions than ever before, according to Inc.com. And it's not just business where a 'women's revolution' is occurring - we're seeing the empowerment of women in sport, film and television, and in the home.

(And of course, this is only in the western world - there are still many places on the planet where women are treated as second-class citizens.)

Gone are the days when women were expected to take a husband and become baby-making machines. In fact, according to a professional "happiness expert", that's the last thing women need to make them happy.

[[imagecaption|| Credit: Pexels]]

Speaking at the Hay Festival  - a film a culture festival held in Wales - on Saturday, Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics, said the latest evidence showed that the traditional markers used to measure success did not correlate with happiness:

"Married people are happier than other population sub-groups but only when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: fucking miserable.

"We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother."

[[imagecaption|| Credit: Pexels]]

Whereas men actually benefit from marriage, according to Dolan, as it causes them to "calm down":

"You [men] take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that and dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population sub-group are women who never married or had children."

Dolan’s findings are featured in his latest book, Happy Ever After, and he cites evidence from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS). This information compared levels of pleasure and misery in unmarried, married, divorced, separated, and widowed individuals.

This woman has set up 'naked yoga classes' to help women feel more empowered:

[[jwplayerwidget||https://content.jwplatform.com/videos/394fH5iW-Q0L14jDU.mp4||394fH5iW]]

The study found that the levels of happiness reported by those who were married was actually higher than the unmarried - but only when their spouse was in the room.

Whereas, when married individuals were asked when their spouse was not present, they reported higher levels of misery than unmarried individuals.

This certainly tells you a lot about marriage...

[[imagecaption|| Credit: Pexels]]

Dolan also spoke about the health benefits marriage can have on both men and women, and revealed how middle-aged married women are at a higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single counterparts. Whereas men actually benefit, as they take "less risks", the Guardian reports.

However, despite the benefits of being a single and childless woman, Dolan stated that the stigma society places on these women - what with the social expectations to settle down and have kids - can actually lead to some single women feeling unhappy. Dolan said:

"You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘bless, that’s a shame isn’t it, maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change’. No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner."

But that's society's problem - not yours, ladies.

Women’s rights in Saudi Arabia are marginal at best. The Arab sovereign state in Western Asia is notorious for treating women like second class citizens, but even with this in mind, it's difficult for westerners to imagine the real array of laws and acknowledged rules that restrict female citizens from leading full and happy lives. That being said, every Saudi’s situation differs and one rule is certainly not the norm for all; not everything on this list will stand for every woman in the country. It is important to keep in mind that rights are heavily based upon an individual's position in society, which part of the country they live in, as well the social situation they find themselves in.

Yet overall, despite the growing campaign in Saudi Arabia to stop women from living within the boxes their husbands, fathers, brothers or sons may set, it seems the gross majority of women are bound to live under men’s reign for a long time coming. With this in mind, we take you through the things that a lot of women in Saudi Arabian women cannot do.

Try clothes on when they are shopping

Saudi Arabia is said to be one of the best places in the world to go shopping, but in certain areas of the country there is one problem for women who look to buy new attire: There are hardly any fitting rooms. According to reports, in some places the idea of a woman disrobing in a public building is considered improper. "The mere thought of a disrobed woman behind a dressing-room door is apparently too much for men to handle," wrote Vanity Fair journalist Maureen Dowd in ‘A Girl's Guide to Saudi Arabia’. However, in spite of this account, one must remember that some Saudi women have become accustomed to the situation and would themselves be uneasy with change. This idea was highlighted in an Arab News column written by Sabria S. Jawhar, which stated that some women themselves feel uncomfortable disrobing in a department store.

In the regions where there are no changing rooms, the situation can lead to an array of irritating problems for those who wish to shop; for instance some women are forced to buy the item and then return it if they find it is the wrong size or colour. Arab News have claimed that certain shopping centres have attempted to fix the problem by installing changing rooms near to the women’s bathrooms, but these can be dirty, smelly rooms located in the basement that women don’t particularly want to visit. In turn, these fitting rooms have created even more issues for women who have to leave a deposit at the store while they go to try on the item.

Receive their rightful inheritance

Women’s rights in Saudi Arabia relating to inheritance are incredibly controversial and often see women often taking half of what their male counterparts have. According to reports, society dictates that men look after their female families, meaning that they deserve twice the amount that is given to females. This rule is also in the Qur’an which states: “Allah commands you regarding your children. For the male a share equivalent to that of two females.”

Buy a Barbie

In 2003, it was reported that Saudi Arabia’s religious police had declared Barbie dolls a threat to morality, stating that the "revealing" clothes of the children’s toy were offensive to Islam. "Jewish Barbie dolls, with their revealing clothes and shameful postures, accessories, and tools are a symbol of decadence to the perverted West. Let us beware of her dangers and be careful," read a message posted on the Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice site. However, again, it is crucial to remember that one rule does not go for all areas of society; certain areas like the city of Jeddah are known to be more liberal and there have been multiple reports suggesting that Barbie dolls are sold in certain shops across the country.

Run for office or vote without difficulty

2015 was the first time Saudi Arabian women were able to run for office, marking a significant step forward. However, the Guardian reported that women who put themselves forward were banned from putting their pictures on campaign posters and were unable to talk to male voters. The same year marked the moment women were able to vote in municipal elections, but Al Jazeera reported that the process to do so was loaded with roadblocks that severely limited their participation. For example, women were asked for their ID cards, yet many only have family cards as means of identification. Proof of residence also marred the procedure as women were required to obtain a validation of residence from an authorised district clerk, asking for a copy of a family card and residence documents.

Compete in international sports without being called "prostitutes"

Saudi Arabia banned female athletes from competing at the Olympics but, amid calls for the country to be banned from the event until they allowed women to take part, they relented in July 2012 and agreed to send two female athletes to compete in London on a number of conditions including that they would not compete in mixed games and that they would dress up conservatively at all times. The number of female athletes increased in 2016 when the country sent four women to Rio.

However, their presence on the world stage caused uproar, meaning a hashtag which described them as “the prostitutes of the Olympics” began to trend. In addition, many argued that their presence was designed to draw attention away from what was happening at home, with news outlets claiming that a lot of women were rarely able to compete in organised sports.

Drive a car

Women can legally drive in Saudi Arabia - but not in reality. There is no law banning them from doing so, but - in most areas - it is impossible to get a licence. Protests have taken place in the past which have seen dozens of suppressed women flouting the rules and driving cars. Differing reports detail how exactly this behaviour was received in the country, with journalist Sabria Jawhar claiming that most women found “public displays of disobedience undignified and counterproductive”. 

This idea is strongly opposed by the western media; Sahar Nassif, a prominent women’s rights activist from Jeddah told the Metro that, although she was forced by police to sign an official document saying she’d never drive again, people who witnessed her driving were clapping, honking and giving her the thumbs up. When assessing driving, one must consider a woman's position; some wealthy women may have no qualms with not being able to drive as they have a private chauffeur to help them get around. In contrast, a woman without this privilege or a woman who sees driving as important to gaining equality is likely to feel differently.

Wear what they want

The country has a strict conservative dress code which sees them wearing an abaya - a long cloak - and a headscarf. However the dress code is governed by different interpretations of Islamic law and is enforced to varying degrees across the country; for example in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia - as well as a lot of rural towns - this is law is uncompromising, whereas, in more liberal communities, one may be able to leave the house without a headscarf. According to western media, police are known to regularly harass women in certain areas for showing too much flesh or wearing too much makeup. In fact, in July 2017 a Saudi Arabian woman was arrested for wearing an “indecent” skirt and crop top in a SnapChat video.

Do everyday things without a man’s permission

Women are bound by oppressive guardianship laws that require a husband, father, brother or even young son, to give them permission to file a legal claim, go to the doctor or rent an apartment. They also can’t make important decisions for themselves like get a job, go to university or get married. Many western media outlets claim that women cannot go outside without a male companion present, which is true for many areas but, again, is based upon region, class and social situation.

In the past, Saudi women were not issued ID cards or passports so were not able to travel to other countries. Nowadays, they can - but most of the time only with a man’s permission. ”We all have to live in the borders of the boxes our dads or husbands draw for us," Zahra, 25, told Human Rights Watch. In addition, Maureen Dowd claimed that women were not able to visit cemeteries to mourn the dead, but this was disputed by several Saudi women in the press.

The idea that a lot of women in Saudi Arabia are denied these simple rights is truly horrifying. However, although women’s rights in Saudi Arabia are a million miles from perfect, neither are women’s rights in western society. To find out more, check out the uncomfortable truth about women's equality in 2017.