Cardi B and Offset have reportedly been married for months
Cardi B went from a stripper to an Instagram celebrity to a chart-topping rapper. Clearly, she's living her best life. When Bodak Yellow blew up, people thought she'd be a one-hit wonder. But she went on to drop an album full of bangers, not to mention her scene-stealing features on other rappers' songs. She used to make a living from her body; now she makes a living from her voice.
But she's not just skilled at making catchy songs. She has a great personality. Some musicians give painfully boring interviews, but Cardi B is a hilarious guest. On Ellen, she played The Five Second Rule, and revealed the three things that make her laugh: "Money, chocolate and penis." Enough said! In fact, she's so entertaining that Jimmy Fallon invited her to co-host The Tonight Show for a week. (Be real, if she replaced Jimmy, would you be mad?)
As Cardi B made all these television appearances, she was very, very pregnant, which was endearing. She announced she was knocked up on Saturday Night Live, when she performed Be Careful in a form-fitting white dress. The baby daddy, of course, is Offset from the rap group Migos. If you've turned on the radio during the past year, you've probably heard her rap about him on Motorsport: "I get up, set off / I turn Offset on / I told him the other day / Man, we should sell that porn." (Be honest, you know you'd buy it.)
It seems like Cardi B is an open book, but it turns out she may have been keeping a big secret. Reportedly she and Offset are already married! TMZ claims they obtained the couple's marriage certificate from Fulton County, Georgia, which is dated September 20, 2017. But as shocking as that is, maybe they're burying the real story: Cardi B's real name is Belcalis Almanzar, and Offset's real name is Kiari Kendrell Cephus. Who knew?
Well, if this report is true, that would explain why Offset thanked "his wife" the other night at the BET Awards. However, it doesn't explain why Offset publicly proposed to Cardi B in October 2017, at the Powerhouse concert in Philadelphia. So, I guess that was just for show? According to the certificate, they had already been married for a month. In which case, Cardi B's acting skills are seriously underrated and give her all the Oscars.
Congratulations to Cardi B and Offset on their clandestine marriage. Who needs a big showy wedding? It takes so much time and work and money, and more money. The ceremony is totally boring - "blah blah blah I do, blah blah blah I do." You love each other, we get it. The only anybody goes to weddings is for the open bar at the reception. Plus Cardi B got "married" in the Kill Bill-inspired music video for Be Careful. That was close enough.